The Death of Dreams

• 'You've never really been any good at that sort of thing'
• 'I've heard there are tons of people going after the same thing... almost no one ever makes it'
• 'You know that never happens to people like us'

These are the types of things 'they' say, the kinds of innocent-seeming statements 'they' make to slowly, but surely, kill our dreams.  You know - those visions and plans we have that would somehow serve to make us 'more' than we are now, that would have us do different, to get different, to be different.

We all have people in our lives that would rather we stay where we are in life. They will offer their thoughts under the guise of caring...

• 'You know it's only because I care about you that I'm telling you this...'
• 'It pains me to say this...'
• 'You know I love you but...'

The expectation, of course, is that if they care about us, if they love us... maybe they are right.  Oh, we may not be so willing to let go of our dreams completely, but their words plant the seeds of doubt and we hesitate. The continual reinforcement of these messages serves to water those seeds, allowing them to take root and grow, eroding our self beliefs, until our dreams drift away.

'They' say it's out of love that they tell us such things... the you can'ts, you aren'ts... but is it really?  Often, we are told these things less from a belief that we truly couldn't and more from a fear that we truly could! The objections 'they' offer us are less about us than they are about them.  They like things as they are.  They like us as we are.  Mostly because, in some way, we - as we are - make them feel better about themselves as they are.  If we change in some way then it changes things... for them!  They may feel bad... about themselves.  Because if we can do it, then all of the excuses they have given themselves as to why they aren't doing it get challenged.  

Regardless of the dream that you have, others in your life may not want you to change for one of two reasons.

1. they felt better about having/being/doing more than you when you had/were less (they like feeling superior to you and don't want you leveling the playing field)
2. They felt better about not having/being/doing something because you were right there with them, providing them with proof that it's not just them (misery does love company after all!)

These people are dream stealer's. They will do whatever they can to kill your dreams off so that their dreams aren't threatened.  Make no mistake, this is done out of love of themselves, not of you.  We need, therefore, to learn to maintain our own belief and momentum, by ensuring that our self-love supersedes the need to be loved by those 'others' in our life.  Out of that self-love comes the commitment to live our dreams not negate them, to live a life of self-belief not self-doubt, to live a life of purpose not regret.

Let others choose their own path, just as you need to choose yours.  And... for all those that doubted and questioned your dreams and choices?  Let your success stand on its own and serve as your personal statement of...

I Told You So!

Branding, Bragging and your Brain

I speak with my clients often about the need for a strong, clear Personal Brand.  The stronger your brand, the more memorable you are and likely the more recognition and rewards you will receive.  A new study has shown that there is an additional benefit to the creation of a strong branded message...your Brain likes Brands.

In a new study, presented at the Radiological society of North America by Christine Born, M.D., it was shown that when people are presented with a known branded image, their brains processed these images in the same part of the brain associated with positive emotions.  Unfamiliar brands, however, not only activated areas of the brain associated with negative emotions, they also took more effort for the brain to process. The MRI scans of the brains in both male and female subjects reacted similarly.

In short...  the MRI scans show that brains respond better to name brands.  The results of the study are interesting, certainly from the perspective of why we might prefer one product over another.  I think though, that it also has some interesting implications for the need to not only develop a clear Personal Brand but to learn to Brag about it too!

At a Corporate level, this study definitely seems to support the perceived value of marketing and advertising efforts.  The more often you can be 'seen', the more familiar your audience becomes with your branded message.  This familiarity in turn creates positive associations at the brain level that work to your advantage. Why would this prove any different for the perceptions and branded images we have of those around us?

If Corporations benefit from targeted marketing messages about their products, then you too can benefit from the delivery of clear and consistent messages about your product - You!  All too often we make the mistake of wanting our work to speak for us.  In the 'busy' world of business though, our work can go largely unnoticed.  We must therefore learn to find our voice and speak up on behalf of our efforts; we need to learn to Brag Better!

Start with a clear idea of who you are and what you stand for - Your Branded Message.  You want to be delivering clear and consistent messages.  Then look for ongoing ways in which to demonstrate, support and speak about yourself within these terms.  The more consistent and clear your message, the stronger the brand.  The stronger the brand, the more comfortable your audience will be with the messaging and the more positive the associations within the brains of your audience. This... is powerful.

Given that few people do this well, do it consistently or do it strategically, it needn't be Big Brags to be effective.  Small but pointed reminders about what you bring to the table, or that highlight your key skills, are often all that it takes.  Don't dilute your branded message by trying to be all things to all people.  Get to the heart of 'you' and sell that... over and over.


(think you still might need some extra help and direction with creating your Bragging Campaign? Check out our new online program - Bragging Rights - for strategies and tactics to help you not just get seen and heard... but get ahead!)