Creating The Good Life

When you think of living 'the Good Life', what are the images that come to mind?  For many of us (roughly 75% according to studies) we picture a life of leisure that is driven by our wealth. A good life is one without financial worries or concerns. Perhaps it is because so many of us unconsciously connect the need for money with having a Good Life that we feel we are falling short. I mean... how much money is enough?

However, according to a 75 year study by Harvard, the key to truly living a Good Life, a life that keeps us happier, healthier and feeling most fulfilled and satisfied is - good relationships. The study, which has followed a group of 724 men from 1938 to present day, has determined that it is the sense of social connectedness, to family, friends and community, that is the biggest determinant in how happy and healthy we will be in our later years.

Note that being socially connected is not about how many friends or relatives you have but, rather, the quality of the relationships you have with those around you. How close you are, how connected you feel, has an influence on your happiness and your health.  Those participants who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were those experiencing the best health at age 80.  This means that your current level of overall satisfaction with your relationships is the biggest predictor of your health as an octogenarian.

Certainly, the opposite was found to be true amongst participants also.  Those who experienced loneliness, who felt more isolated from others than they wanted to be, experienced a faster decline in their health in mid life; their brains declined sooner and they lived far shorter lives.  In short, loneliness was found to be toxic.

Think now of what our constant pursuit of the dollar does to our relationships, what the cost of 60 hour weeks does to the depth and quality of the relationships we have. Though it is the quality of the relationship not the quantity of time spent in or on it that counts, you do need to be physically and emotionally present for the time you are there.  How present are you?

If you are finding that your relationships are suffering, it may just be time for you to start making a couple of changes.  Consider replacing some 'screen' time with some people time, reaching out to someone you haven't spoken to in years, opening yourself to new relationships or even to deepening the ones you've got.

'Cause you got to have friends, the feeling's oh so strong.  You've got to have friends, to make that day last long'     (song lyric ... You've Got to Have Friends)

As the research is now showing us, our lack of presence in our relationships (if not our lack of relationships period) may not just prove harmful to the relationship itself but may just be killing us as well. If you are working full out to ensure a financially secure retirement, you may want to take a moment to consider the quality of the retirement years you are creating for yourself.  Your ultimate health and happiness depend on it.

And for an extra boost... let's leave you with the Divine Miss M telling you in her own special way...

Healthy or Intelligent? Which Leader Would You Choose?

When choosing a leader, if you are only given an option between choosing someone that looked healthy or someone that looked intelligent... which would you choose?

I think that most of us, consciously, would say intelligent. Don't we all want our leaders to have the intellect to understand the challenges we face, to navigate through the tough political waters, to have the knowledge needed to create strategies that assure us success?  Our logical, rational minds respond 'Yes, of course'.

However, a recent Dutch study, published in the journal Frontiers in Human Neuroscience,  found that, when given a choice between a leader that looked 'healthy' and one looking 'intelligent', almost 70% of all respondents selected the healthier looking leader.  In fact, both leaders they viewed were the same individual, each photo simply being a digitally altered version designed to portray more healthy or intelligent characteristics.

"Here we show that it always pays for aspiring leaders to look healthy, which explains why politicians and executives often put great effort, time and money in their appearance," study lead author Brian Spisak, assistant professor at the department of management and organization at VU University Amsterdam in the Netherlands

Although our conscious mind may use rational thinking in making its decisions, it appears that we are still more influenced by our reptilian brain than we may like to believe.  Our reptilian brain is the most primitive part of the human brain, the part that handles our instinctive responses and reflexes, some of which are millions of years old.  It is the part of our brain that is essential to, and focused on, our basic survival, overseeing functions like breathing and heart rate, but also driving your desire for food or sex and responding to perceived threats and rewards.

It's this most primitive part of our brains that receives information first, making it our primary behavioural driver. This means, when considering the Dutch study above, that participants viewing the two potential leaders are influenced first by the reptilian part of their brain which wants to follow the healthier looking specimen... because that is a key trait necessary for survival.

From an evolutionary perspective this would make sense.  In the early days of man you couldn't afford to get sick, there was no medicine. You needed to be able to run down your prey and out run any predators. You needed to be strong to be seen as necessary to the 'group'; strong enough to be Alpha or be seen as useful to one.

We may have come a long way but our reptilian brains are still wired to respond in ways that served us, and saved us, in the past.  These responses still continue to influence choices that we make, in ways that we don't always control or recognise.  The conscious and more logical parts of our brains simply form reasonable explanations for the actions and decisions that our reptilian brain makes.

I have long coached my clients on the need to project a positive energy through their body language.  To be able to convince someone that you are not just willing but able to take action and see a project through, you must demonstrate it through your body.  It is through the subtle cues of the body that your credibility is established, that people will believe and trust in your ability to deliver.  Try selling someone on your ability to take action from a slumped position!  Your reptilian brain is wired to pick up on the subtle cues derived from body language and will respond according to what it perceives.  Conveying a strong, positive energy appeals to the survivalist mentality of your primitive brain.

Looking 'healthy' is a visible source of that positive energy.  People are instinctively attracted to it.  If you want to get ahead then research has provided yet another reason for you to get healthy.  Break out the walking shoes, learn to love kale... they might just be the best things you do for your career.

Feeding Your Performance

Your performance on the job is a factor of many variables.  Do you know what to do?  Do you know how to do it?  Do you have the necessary skills to do it?  Is training and support provided?  Are you capable of learning it?  Are you interested in learning it?  All of these elements will influence your performance and productivity.

Additionally, we know that your physical health is also associated with your performance; those in good physical health tend to out-perform those who are not.  Let's face it, to get things done you have to have the energy to do it.  But we also need to have the right mental mindset to get things done, which means that your mental health and well-being is also a key factor in determining your success, in life and at work.

New studies published from the University of Warwick Medical School demonstrate a high correlation between the amount of fruit and vegetables consumed and your level of Mental Well-Being.  Yes, it turns out that your mother was right to admonish you to eat your vegetables.  In a study with over 14,000 people they determined that those participants deemed to have a high level of mental well-being consumed more fruit and vegetables each day than did their low mental well-being counterparts.  In fact, of those classified as High on the mental well-being scale, 33.5% consumed 5+ fruit and vegetables per day and 31.4% ate 3-4 portions.  Those in the low well-being group typically consumed little to none.

It seems that, along with not smoking, eating fruit and vegetables is the behaviour most consistently associated with maintaining a high degree of mental well-being.

If you consider that previous studies have forged a firm link between low mental well being and mental illness and mental health problems, then we definitely want to ensure that we fall on the opposite end of the scale.

High mental health and well-being is associated with feelings of optimism, positivity, happiness, higher self-esteem and better relationships.  These are all typical characteristics of high-performers. Top athletes know that they need to consume the right fuel for their bodies if they want it to perform at its peak, but they also know that their success is determined as much by their 'mental game' as their physical.  However, as it turns out, eating right for their physical conditioning already helps them improve their mental game.

For those of us that aren't requiring our bodies to 'perform' for us at that level, we may not be as consciously focused on the connection between our diet and our on-the-job performance. Research such as the above makes it clear that what we fuel ourselves with each day not only has an impact on our physical capabilities but our mental capabilities as well.

Really, as it turns out it is quite a simple equation.  Do you want to be happy?  Eat your broccoli!