Just Try It!

We admonish our children to try new things.  'How do you know you won't like it if you don't try it?'

When did we stop applying the same rule to ourselves? When did our concern over possibly looking foolish, or not proving to be the best at something overshadow our desire to step in and give something a 'go'?

In essence... when did we start giving up before we even began?

We once were courageous.  Everything in life was new to us, but we willingly gave new things a try. Crawling, walking, talking, throwing a ball, skipping a stone, catching a frog. Our childhood is comprised of a series of new experiences, times when we willingly stepped forward and tried something new, all strung together.  Remember the delight you experienced when you tried something for the first time and liked it? When you discovered it was fun? Better yet, when you found something you were good at?

What happened to that?

Not trying is giving up before you start

I have a raft of clients lamenting the fact that they haven't discovered anything they are passionate about in their life, yet they are doing so from the comfort of their couch.  You have to explore new experiences to discover those hidden interests, talents and passions. You need a breadth of experiences to learn what you are truly capable of.

We all have undiscovered talents that are waiting to be uncovered. However, we can't build and capitalize on them if we don't know what they are. It is only by pushing ourselves to try new things that we will uncover what those latent talents are.

Experiencing the new helps us...

• Increase our self confidence
• Gain a greater appreciation of ourselves
• Become a more 'interesting' person - we have far more to share with others
• Discover new talents, strengths and passions!
• Live without regrets

So, in the spirit of parents everywhere, get up, get out and get going.  You'll never know unless you try!

Unwrapping Your Gifts!

We all have our own special and unique gifts; talents and skills that we excel at.  Yes... everyone, including you!  The issue is not whether we have strengths or not, but whether we know and understand what they are.  It is pretty difficult to utilize our strengths fully if we are still struggling to understand what they are.

Unfortunately, many of our experiences in life have taught us to focus on our weaknesses, on what we typically end up labeling as our shortcomings.  In grade school we had those big red circles highlighting those shortcomings.  Our parents likely spent far more time focusing on how to pull up our grades than they did on how to build on the areas that we excelled at and our workplace managers tend to do exactly the same.  However, it is important to recognise that our performance over a range of skills will always vary.  We have some activities that we will be better at than others.  In the picture below, these are the 'above the line activities', those areas in which we tend to exceed expectations.

We will also always have some areas in which we fall short.  Always.  We cannot be good at everything, nor should we expect or try to. Unfortunately, our parents and bosses have trained us to agonize over the below the line results.  We put our focus, energy and even money into improving those skills.  However, for most of them, the best we can hope to do is to raise our skill level to the meets expectations line.  For the most part this is fine.  There are many areas in our work and our lives where being and doing 'good-enough' is, in fact, good enough!  We know that there is a law of diminishing returns telling us that additional effort is not going to net us the equivalent in return, in which case that additional effort could be put to better use elsewhere.

However, there is a far larger problem.  If we are focusing all of our efforts on improving the below the line skills, and not focusing on the above the lines skills at all, then we are creating a system of mediocrity.  We get what we focus on.  If we only focus on pulling our weaknesses up, and not on growing or developing our strengths, then our talents fall down to meet that middle red line, even while our weaknesses grow.  However, in the end, we are simply meeting expectations.  This does nothing to inspire or motivate us, and is therefore the problem with many corporate performance management programs.

If you are looking to advance your career, or to build your business, then uncovering and leveraging your strengths is the single most important thing you can do.  

It is through our unique gifts, our talents and strengths, that we add the most value.  These are the skills that set us apart from the crowd.  The good news is that we are most satisfied and energized when we engage in work that utilizes our key talents and strengths.  This is when we do our best work, this is when we truly shine.

The little stumbling block in all of this of course, rests in uncovering just what your true gifts are.  If you catch yourself denying you have any or are at a bit of a loss in identifying them clearly enough to build some career strategies around them, then follow some of the suggestions below to help you to discover your strengths.

Take an Assessment

There are numerous online tools that you can use to help you to uncover your strengths, the most popular of which is Strengths Finder.  You can take their short version for free or pay a nominal fee to take the extended version for greater insights.  If you buy their book (See below for link) then you get a link to take the full assessment for free.  If you decide for some unbiased insight then these tools can be useful but don't take them as gospel.  Use the results as a starting point of your exploration and couple them with some of the suggestions below to gain greater clarity.

Follow the Feeling

Learn to pay attention to how you are feeling over the course of your day.  When we are using our gifts we will experience greater levels of energy and engagement, a sense of Flow or a feeling of being in the Zone.  Time will move more quickly during these moments and we are more likely to derive feelings of satisfaction, excitement, interest and pride from activities utilizing our strengths.  In general use the following to help you to uncover insights into your strengths and weaknesses.

• Strengths - are energy boosters
• Weaknesses - are energy drainers

Experiment

Sometimes, to uncover our gifts, we need to get out and try new things.  We often have undiscovered strengths, only because we have not explored our abilities fully.  Experiment a little.  Follow an interest or a passion.  Dabble in something new, explore opportunities you may have given a pass on - all with an eye to discovering new abilities and talents.

What's Different?

Pay attention to what you do differently than everyone else.  When we meet expectations, or operate below the line, we are usually just following the direction of those around us.  However, when we are playing to our strengths we feel more empowered and confident, often stepping off onto our own little path.  Looking for your areas of difference, in thinking or approach, can often highlight a talent or gift you have overlooked.

Others Know

Gain some insight from those around you.  Consider what others typically seek you out for.  What help and advice do your co-workers look to you for?  Often, those around us recognise our talents long before we do and will ask us for help in those areas, knowing we do it better than they ever could.  However, because our true gifts may feel so natural and comfortable to us, we may downplay their value and fail to recognise that those skills don't come as readily to others.  Others know the value - use their insight to build your recognition of the value.

• Exercise.  Get others in your life to share a story with you - a story about when they thought you were are your 'best'.  As you gather the different stories, review them looking for common themes and threads that indicate your strengths.  

Of course, once you have identified your gifts and strengths, you need to develop an action plan on how to build and leverage them.  Volunteer for activities that use your gifts, build a career path that utilizes and grows them, even offer support to others in the areas of your talents. All will help you to capitalize on your gifts in ways that help highlight the tremendous value you represent.  For additional help with your strategies you can check out Marcus Buckingham's book on putting your strengths to work (see below). 

You represent a unique blend of skills and talents that no one else has. Unwrapping your gifts allows you to offer the world the best you have and are. Focus on your above-the-line skills.   Above-the-line is above average.  Above-the-line is about meeting your expectations not theirs, and above-the-line is above what most others are offering, leaving you standing head and shoulders above those around you.

Great view from up there!


Book Links:

People Buy People

People 'buy' People.

What are they 'buying' from you?

Seriously. Think about this. What is it that people get and can expect when they interact and work with you? Is it worth the price?  If what you have to offer is not uniquely different than the person standing next to you, then why would someone choose you?

It starts to feel a little like picking sports teams in grade-school, no one wants to be the last one 'picked' for the team, but this is what happens every day in business.  When you go for an interview, when project teams are being put together, when promotions are being made, when consultants are hired.  Skills, abilities, attitudes and experiences are being bought, which means we are all in the business of selling ourselves.

How good is your sales process?

As with any product, you can't sell what you don't know.  How clear are you about your strengths?  You can't articulate and highlight what you don't know.  Ideally you want to build your brand around the key strengths you possess that are both marketable AND that you enjoy using.  An exercise that I use with clients to help them uncover these strengths is the following...

Take out a piece of paper and draw a quick chart. Down the left-hand column, create a list of your accomplishments and achievements that still instill you with pride. Pride is a key component because if you still feel good about what you achieved you likely used some talents and skills you enjoy.  

Across the top row you are going to list your abilities.  Start with the first accomplishment you listed and consider the various skills and abilities that you called upon to help you complete that task.  List them in the top row, checking each off in the row across from its associated accomplishment.  

Look at the next accomplishment you listed and check off any of the abilities you added that apply to this accomplishment.  Some may have been used while others hadn't.  Add any additional skills that you haven't yet indicated.

Continue to review each accomplishment, checking off any of the abilities you've listed that were used to complete each, while also adding any additional skills/abilities that were also used.

When completed, take a look at the abilities with the most check marks. These likely represent those skills/abilities that you call upon the most and represent your key strengths. Given that these accomplishments are pride-filled moments for you, these strengths are also likely to be things you enjoy doing and are talents that others recognise in you and turn to you for help with. These are the elements that people 'buy' from you.

Knowing what you have to sell to others is one thing, selling it is another.  People can't buy what they don't know is for sale.  What are your marketing strategies?  Doing great work, and letting it speak for you, is one strategy... but it is only one. On its own it is insufficient to ensure that your product - 'you' - stands out on the shelves.  What other strategies could you implement that help you to stand out and be seen?  Here are a couple of quick tips borrowed from our Bragging Rights program to help get you started...

• When you have helped someone out and they thank you, don't ever respond with... 'No problem'.  Ever.  Saying 'no problem' implies that, in fact, it was no problem.  Which is rarely ever true.  Don't diminish the work you did by saying that it was no problem.  Simply saying 'you're welcome' is better, but consider letting them know you went out of your way for them by saying something along the lines of... 'I know how important it was to your project so I juggled a few things to make some room to help you out'.  It never hurts to let someone know you are willing to give a little something extra, which helps differentiate you from the rest of the crowd.
• When you enjoy doing something, let people know... so you can get more of it!  We may be good at many things, but we really only want to work on those that we are both good at AND love doing. Others aren't likely to distinguish between the two if you don't highlight the difference for them.  
• When you meet people that you haven't seen in a while and they ask you what you've been up to, do not... I repeat ... DO NOT simply say 'nothing much', or 'keeping busy'.  Give them some insight. This is a great opportunity to insert a little brag-bite, a short update on something, just one thing, that you have been doing that highlights a strength.  Make it short, snappy, interesting... but start getting the word out about what it is that you can do if you want people to remember it, and you, when great new projects are coming down the pipe.  

People are constantly in the market for people.  People to help bridge the gap between their personal talents and their needs.  Help them to see you as the right fit for that gap by selling yourself appropriately.  People are buying people all the time.  If they are not buying 'you' then it may be time for you to revamp your marketing strategies.
 

 

 

Embracing Limitations

There is a lot of focus in business on the need to 'improve' our weaknesses, to overcome our limitations.  The
assumption being that we don't want weaknesses of any kind, that our weaknesses will hold us back and limit our opportunities.  What if, however, it is not our limitations that hold us back but the way that we think of them?

As long as we perceive our limitations as weaknesses, our limitations as a negative, we put our effort into masking or hiding them, into trying to turn them around or to at least become 'competent' enough in the area that others might not notice.  It becomes a cyclical game in which we put our energy into become stronger in an area that will never be a strength.

What if we put our energy instead, into finding other avenues to getting things done, while working WITH our limitations rather than around them?  We tend to think of creativity being synonymous with the need to think outside of the box.  However, kickstart your creativity by thinking a little closer to home.  Try thinking within the box.  Enhance and spark your creativity by learning to embrace your limitations.

Don't hide your limitations away, pull them out.  Examine them.  Define what the limitation means to you.  Often this definition is accompanied by a 'can't'.  There is something you feel that you can't do as a result of this limitation.  The key question then becomes...  how else might I do it?  Consider...

• If you are an athlete who loses their legs in a car crash, do you stop engaging in your sport?
• If you want to become doctor but don't get accepted into medical school, do you give up on your dream of being a health practitioner?
• If you draw detailed, realistic pictures but develop severe hand tremors, do you stop making art?
• If you stutter, do you avoid speaking in public?

You can't do things as you once did or would want to... what can you do instead?  Don't dwell on what you can't do... focus on what you can.  What is another option or possibility?  If you only view the limitation one way you will only get one answer.  View the limitation from as many different angles as you can to unlock different answers and possibilities, many of which would have been hidden from you had you not shifted your perspective.  

Sometimes we must first become limited to then become limitless

Instead of viewing your limitations as a roadblock to your success, view them as a source of creativity.  Your dream is not gone because of the limitation, you are just required to shift your vision of it or to walk a different path to get there.  Embracing your limitations liberates you from their confines, opening new avenues, new possibilities.  It is from thinking inside the box of our limitations that we end up opening the box fully.