The Problem with... No Problem

You've all likely said this at some point...  in response to someone thanking you for helping them out or doing them a favour... you've responded to their Thank-You with the phrase... 'No Problem'.

It sounds innocent enough, a couple of words offered often as a way of remaining humble in the face of someone's thanks.  However, sometimes our words can work against us, in ways we don't realize, and this is one of those times.  In fact, I want to categorically state, up front, that my hope is that, after reading this blog, you forever and always strike the phrase 'No Problem' from your vocabulary. Forever!  Truly!

Here's what happens.  Someone asks us to do something.  Typically, it is something that they want and need immediately because they failed to plan properly and are under the gun.  This is their issue, not yours, and yet their request of you now shifts it into being - your problem.  Although you are busy yourself, you succumb to their pleas, tears and Bambi-like eyes and somehow manage to squeeze it into your already overloaded schedule.  That bathroom break you had planned?  Gone!  That quick pop out to actually get some lunch? Not going to happen.  Their work though?  Done!

In the face of their thanks then, why would we ever want to leave them with the impression that fulfilling their request was, in fact, no problem?  It was a big problem!  We didn't eat.  We put our work on hold, some of which we will likely take home with us to get done.  We didn't have time to pee for heaven's sake and yet, we politely inform the other party that fitting their work into our day was... No Problem for us.

Think for a moment of the impact of those seemingly harmless two little words.

• The other party believes that this was no problem for us and therefore won't hesitate to dump things our way in the future.  We obviously aren't all that busy.
• The other party is wounded and feels diminished because work that they struggled with caused you no angst.  Hmmm... are they that 'slow' around everything?
• Your time and efforts have now been de-valued.  The other person needn't be indebted to you because what you did for them was not a big deal.  No favours owed here!
• When it comes time to recognise those that go over and above in helping others, your name is curiously missing from the list because, after all, everything you had done was no problem and is therefore not remembered.

There are so many other ways to respond to someone else's thanks that don't diminish you, your value or worth... start using them!

• You're welcome.  (Plain, basic, to the point, but sometimes simple works best!)
• My pleasure.  (Great to use when it is true!)
• It was a challenge but I know how important this was for you.  (Good one to use when you know you're going to need to ask a favour of them soon!)
• I'm pleased that I managed to make it happen!  (Good for highlighting that you weren't sure you could but were willing to go out on a limb for them anyway!)
• I can't always manage to squeeze more into my days but I'm glad I was able to accommodate you today (great if you want them to think twice about asking in future!)

The above are good starting points and likely are highlighting for you many other, more creative, and more positively impactful ways to respond to someone else's thanks.  And... before you thank me for offering you this lesson today, let me respond upfront with a very heart felt...  It was my pleasure!

Top 5 Tips for Interview Success

There are a lot of great tips out there that can serve a job-hunter well but there are also a lot of bad tips to wade through.  Over my career I have likely interviewed thousands of candidates and consulted with hundreds (if not also up to a thousand or more) job-seekers.  Certainly, as a Body Language expert I could offer you suggestions as to your posture, eye contact, gestures, positioning... but, quite honestly, most people are concerned enough with having answers to the interviewers questions to concern themselves with this level of detail.

Instead,  I'd like to share my all-time, Top 5 Tips for ensuring that your interview is a success.  These five things will help you to stand out from the crowd and be favourably remembered.  Each tip gives you a slight and subtle edge that is often more than enough to distinguish you from others and help to position you positively.

Tip #1.  Arrive early and be Prepared.  I know that this seems particularly basic but it is surprising how few candidates follow this tip.  Do not put yourself in the position of having to explain why you were delayed.  The interviewer doesn't know you yet, which means they don't care about you, which means they simply don't care.  Plan ahead.  Know your route.  Leave more than enough extra time to cover for all contingencies.  As for being prepared... do NOT think that you know yourself well enough to 'wing' an interview.  If you have not been out job-searching for a while then you need to spend some time determining what stories you will share, what accomplishments you will highlight.  Think about the job in questions and determine what you would be looking for in someone for that role, if you were the interviewer, and ensure that you are able to address those needs.  Finally... in this age of the Internet and Google, there is no excuse for not being familiar with the company.  You should have done a search on the organization, on the interviewer and read over the company website from beginning to end at the very least.

Tip #2.  Don't oversell, but don't undersell.  People often skew too far in either of these directions.  Share your stories clearly, succinctly and comfortably.  You are speaking about yourself, so you are speaking about something you know well.  As a result, your voice tone will convey; knowledgeable, confident, and comfortable. Let that work for you.  If you oversell you will sound pushy, arrogant and possibly desperate or unbelievable.  Underselling will serve to make you forgettable.  Instead, consider that you are sharing facts, information that you know to be true.  This will always sound genuine, natural and believable.

Tip #3.  Take on the role of the Host, not the Guest.  As soon as we go out to spend time with someone in their offices we unconsciously adopt the role of a Guest.  As a guest we are focused internally, on ourselves, and expect others to make us feel comfortable.  The other party now assumes the role of Host and is responsible for us.  This is perhaps fine if our interviewer is an extrovert and likes making small talk but the odds are not in favour of this being the case.  You now are just 'work' for them and they are beginning their time with you from a place of discomfort.  Additionally, as a guest, you are now focused on yourself, your needs and your comfort.  You are 'in your head', assessing your answers, whether you've done a good job, what the interviewer is likely thinking about you, how do you seem to be doing.  All of this internal dialogue typically leads to external behavioural 'leakage' which serves to undermine your delivery of strength, confidence and credibility.  Instead, subtly take on the role of Host.  Initiate the handshake and the small talk.  Work to make the interviewer feel comfortable.  Stay out of your head and continue to focus on their comfort.  This external orientation means that you are not in your head to hear your 'inner voice' (which rarely is being supportive) and therefore your behavioural leakage will be more controlled and comfortable.  It is much easier to control the focus of your mind (and therefore the behaviours) than it is to try to manage all of the behaviours!

Tip #4.  Yes... clothes matter!  Give due consideration to what you plan to wear, prepare it ahead and make sure it is in order.  Hems are up, shoes are polished, buttons are in place, everything is clean.  Again, this may sound as though this is a given but, trust me, many candidates often seem as though they simply rolled out of bed and jumped into whatever was handy. You should also ensure that the outfit or suit you are planning on wearing fits.  The morning of the interview is not the time to discover that the suit you haven't worn in six months fits the body you had then, not the one you have now!  Consider also your briefcase and purse because they are also extensions of you.  Ensure that they are clean, in good shape and not overstuffed to bursting.  Take into your interview only what you need for the interview, leaving the rest of your world at home or in the car.  Details like having a pad of paper and pen available (and their condition) are also small clues to your organizational skills.

Tip #5.  Follow up. Most candidates only follow up with their interviewer to find out if a decision has been made.  In which case, the contact is all about you.  To stand out favourably, make your follow up about the interviewer.  Certainly a simple note thanking them for their time is a step in the right direction but it is far better to personalize the contact more.  Reference a small tidbit of information relating to your conversation that demonstrates you were paying attention to and were focused on them.  Even better?  Give them something.  Provide them with a link to an article or site you thought they would be interested in, a contact to add to their network, a piece of information that relates back to your conversation but that you hadn't had time to mention.  For example...  "You mentioned that you were going to be travelling to New Orleans shortly.  I have a great friend who grew up in the city.  I took the liberty of contacting him for some suggested restaurants that the locals know and love but that most tourists typically 'miss'.  He recommended you try..."  Or perhaps... "Here is the link to that TED Talk I mentioned.  I thought you would enjoy it..."  It needn't be big, it should have no dollar value attached and should simply show that you were listening to them and were willing to help them in some way.  Even if you don't end up getting the job you likely have gained another advocate and network contact.

Branding Lessons from Wine

How do we judge the value of a bottle of wine? What exactly is it that makes one wine 'better' than another?

The easy answer is that the value judgements of wine are a reflection of the palate of the taster. But, really, is it that simple?  Am I simply guided in my determination of a 'good' wine by my taste and palate OR is my experience of the wine influenced by; the story my friend shares about the wine as he pours it into my glass, or the review it received by an 'expert', or perhaps as simply as the price on the bottle?

Our judgements are never, seemingly, simply our own.  Every subjective experience that we have can (and is) influenced by the shared experiences of others.  This is an important sentence, it bears repeating...

Every subjective experience that we have can, and is, influenced by the shared experiences of others.

People's experience of your brand will be influenced by the expressed interpretation that others have of your brand.  Think of it this way.  You're at a party and you have a close friend talking to you about a co-worker you have never met.  They share not only some workplace anecdotes but also their feelings about that person.  When you finally meet that co-worker you are likely to view them through the lens of perspective  your friend has already provided you, regardless of whether their impression had been largely positive or negative in nature.  You have already been primed by your friend to interpret the co-worker's behaviours a certain way.

This is why the consistency of your personal brand is so important.  Your brand must be the same regardless of the audience or the situation.  The more consistently you craft the experience that others have of you and your brand, the stronger your brand.  When people speak about you, and you know they do, you need to ensure that the message they are sharing is one of your choosing and design.

All too often we go out of our way trying to please others, to be and do what we believe they want and need.  In so doing, we tend to dilute our brand.  Our efforts to be all things to all people in all situations tends to weaken our presence rather than build it.  A strong brand is built on consistency, but it starts by having clarity over just what your brand is.  Your behaviours and interactions are then measured against this image, ensuring that everything works in alignment with and support of the brand.

Many companies work extremely hard at not only crafting their desired brand but also ensuring that everything they do, every decision they make supports that brand.  Consider Harley motorcycles.  You know exactly what type of bike a Harley is, you know exactly what your experience of a Harley will be, you know exactly what others will think of you on a Harley.  This is a strong brand.  It is clear, it is consistent, it is memorable.  This is the brand that others share and spread.  Whether you have ever ridden a Harley or not, you are already primed to 'experience' a Harley in a specific way.

Now consider what the advertised experience of 'you' is.  What messages are being communicated about you to others, priming their future experience of you?  If it's not likely one that you want... start crafting a new one and use it to guide all of your future behaviours and actions.  The more consistent these behaviours,  the more others can trust in them to be true, the more they will share them with others, 'selling' and spreading your message of you, for you.

If you don't like to brag about yourself, then this is the strategy for you.  Instead of having to toot your own horn... get someone to do it for you!

Are you working Big or Small?

Let's face it... there is no shortage of work to be done.  Our schedules are jammed. We race from one meeting to the next, one task to the next, one conversation to the next. We get stuff done.

But... and this is the definitive but... we mostly play it small. Every day we are caught up in pushing through the clerical and bureaucratic work. Yes, I do realize that it's your 'job', but when you are in the mode of 'getting stuff done', of just 'pushing things through' to get them checked off the list, you are doing the Small work.  The day to day grind of those things that need to get done but that don't distinguish you. We can get so caught up in the 'busyness' of work that we overlook the fact that we are simply being busy, but not getting busy on the things that matter.

If you want to stand out from the crowd, then you have to be prepared to do the Big work.  These are your key differentiators. This is what your competition is likely not doing.  Like you, they too get caught up in the bustle of the everyday.  To stand out you have to be prepared to take on the Big work.  These are those elements that might be risky, that might prove scary, but that help you to stand out and move up.

The Big work can take place in small moments of decision.  Moments in which there is no time for major planning or design, just the need to step up to the plate.  These are the moments that you could quite easily pass on.  No one would fault you for not doing them because they likely are not fully within your job description.  They are risky because, if you fail, you will be faulted.  However, if you succeed, it is a certainty that you will be remembered, appreciated and noticed.  Ultimately, this is the formula for getting promoted.

You can play it safe and build your career safely straddling the 'Meets Expectations' line but know that your greatest achievements and successes in life occurred when you stepped away from that line and took a chance. The moments that likely still infect you with a feeling of pride and accomplishment were those when you thought and acted Big, when you stepped away from the safety and comfort of small thoughts and small deeds.

Look at how you fill your days, the activities you engage in, the thoughts you have, the risks you take and ask yourself... Am I working Big or Small?   Your actions drive your rewards.  Are your actions in line with what you want for and from your life?

If you work Small, even in huge volumes, expect small rewards.  Working Big is what it takes for those big rewards.  You don't need a lot of them, but you do need them if Success is your goal.



(for other ideas on getting noticed and standing out, check out our Online Bragging Rights training program at...  http://tinyurl.com/8xxl3fd)

Focus on the 'Flipping' Point

In his book The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell shared with us the concepts behind how a particular idea, trend or behaviour somehow 'catches' and goes viral.  It's the magical moment when the momentum behind something tips the scales and the idea takes off, spreading with epidemic-like speed.  This is a fascinating concept for businesses to explore and apply to their marketing efforts certainly, but what about its applicability to each of us and our individual self-promotion and bragging campaigns?

To help us see 'how' we can personally create leverage from this Tipping Point concept, Seth Godin coined the phrase The Flipping Point in a recent blog post. As Seth explains, the Flipping Point is all about getting one person buzzing about your message.  Start your Bragging Campaign with one person, give one person one thing to get excited about, and then get one more.

The reality is that there is no Tipping Point, without a prior Flipping Point.  If you can't get one person to flip over the idea of you, then how are you looking to flip an entire group?  Start small.  Keep your focus targeted.  Sell a few select people fully and watch the magic happen.

In essence, you look to strategically identify the 'few' folks within your organization that are likely to have the greatest influence on your campaign.  First of all, Malcolm Gladwell points out, we should focus on the Connectors.  These are the people you know who seemingly 'know' everyone.  Don't focus on their position... that's not the important component.  If you want to get the word out about 'You' and your accomplishments, then you need to get your message in the hands of these people.  The people in your life that almost effortlessly accumulate acquaintances can be especially helpful to you in generating more 'buzz' quickly.

When you get one person to 'flip' they are likely to join your personal cheerleading squad and help you to flip others.  The more people you flip, the bigger the buzz until you hit that magical Tipping Point moment where everyone is buzzing.

The key of course... give them something to 'Flip' over!


(for insights into how you can develop your self-marketing and promotional campaign, check out our new, online Bragging Rights program! It's ready whenever you are to help you learn the Strategies and Tactics that will help you hit that Flipping Point with others.)

Branding, Bragging and your Brain

I speak with my clients often about the need for a strong, clear Personal Brand.  The stronger your brand, the more memorable you are and likely the more recognition and rewards you will receive.  A new study has shown that there is an additional benefit to the creation of a strong branded message...your Brain likes Brands.

In a new study, presented at the Radiological society of North America by Christine Born, M.D., it was shown that when people are presented with a known branded image, their brains processed these images in the same part of the brain associated with positive emotions.  Unfamiliar brands, however, not only activated areas of the brain associated with negative emotions, they also took more effort for the brain to process. The MRI scans of the brains in both male and female subjects reacted similarly.

In short...  the MRI scans show that brains respond better to name brands.  The results of the study are interesting, certainly from the perspective of why we might prefer one product over another.  I think though, that it also has some interesting implications for the need to not only develop a clear Personal Brand but to learn to Brag about it too!

At a Corporate level, this study definitely seems to support the perceived value of marketing and advertising efforts.  The more often you can be 'seen', the more familiar your audience becomes with your branded message.  This familiarity in turn creates positive associations at the brain level that work to your advantage. Why would this prove any different for the perceptions and branded images we have of those around us?

If Corporations benefit from targeted marketing messages about their products, then you too can benefit from the delivery of clear and consistent messages about your product - You!  All too often we make the mistake of wanting our work to speak for us.  In the 'busy' world of business though, our work can go largely unnoticed.  We must therefore learn to find our voice and speak up on behalf of our efforts; we need to learn to Brag Better!

Start with a clear idea of who you are and what you stand for - Your Branded Message.  You want to be delivering clear and consistent messages.  Then look for ongoing ways in which to demonstrate, support and speak about yourself within these terms.  The more consistent and clear your message, the stronger the brand.  The stronger the brand, the more comfortable your audience will be with the messaging and the more positive the associations within the brains of your audience. This... is powerful.

Given that few people do this well, do it consistently or do it strategically, it needn't be Big Brags to be effective.  Small but pointed reminders about what you bring to the table, or that highlight your key skills, are often all that it takes.  Don't dilute your branded message by trying to be all things to all people.  Get to the heart of 'you' and sell that... over and over.


(think you still might need some extra help and direction with creating your Bragging Campaign? Check out our new online program - Bragging Rights - for strategies and tactics to help you not just get seen and heard... but get ahead!)

Bragging through Networks

Let's face it, few of us like the thought of Bragging.  We want our work to speak for us so that we don't have to.  We will more than willingly put in more time, accomplishing more 'stuff', if it means we don't have to talk about it. However, as we hear so often, working harder isn't necessarily working smarter. Those who may produce less but promote themselves and their accomplishments more often tend to gain more recognition, rewards and opportunities.

How then can someone who is, by nature, quieter and less vocal about their achievements, gain recognition and advancement?  One key tactic is to use your Social Networks more strategically.

To gain recognition, and the inherent rewards that accompany it, people need to know who you are and what you've done.  You need to give a voice to your accomplishments.  However, it doesn't require you to shout it from the rooftops to all within hearing.  What is needed is for you to ensure that you keep your network informed and up-to-date.  By doing so, you are arming these people with the tools needed to help promote you effectively to their network.  As so often happens, it is not about who you know but who 'they' know that will count in the long run.

If you don't share anything with anyone, then you have sent them out into the world with little ammunition to fight on your behalf.  Instead, consider your close network to be your Personal Marketing Team.  You need to train them on what you want them to be promoting by keeping them informed about what you have been accomplishing.  Providing them with small updates will give them tidbits to share, information to drop into conversations on your behalf.  This ripple-effect serves to strengthen the power of your voice, helping it to carry further and faster than you can possibly do on your own.

Keeping your network educated about what you have been doing isn't about persuading them about your worth, it is about helping them to persuade others.

Try out the following tips and tactics to help your Voice carry further throughout Networks...

• Don't think of an update as a long, yearly summary of everything you have done (like those family inserts to Holiday cards!).  Instead, we are talking about small brag-bites of information dropped into and peppering your conversation on a regular basis.
• When asked by an acquaintance 'What's new?' don't respond with phrases such as 'Oh, nothing much' or 'Same old, same old' or even 'It's been crazy busy'.  These were bragging moments that you let slide by.  Instead, provide them with a very brief summary of what you have been doing.  'I've been really involved lately with wrapping up Project X.  We're ready to launch it on Monday.  I'm so excited to see it go live'.  
• Use web-based Social Media networks strategically.  Don't just fill in your profile on Linked-in and expect it to 'work' for you!  Post updates to your skills, share expertise in the forums, initiate online connections with those you've met 'live', post blogs... work it!  You can create a web-voice without having to actually speak!  Great for those introverts out there!  (bear in mind though the difference between promoting yourself professionally versus personally.  Build your business persona, not your personal one,  if your goal is to get ahead)
• When doing favours for those at work, never use the phrase 'No Problem'.  It's almost always a problem for you when you adjust your schedule to fit in their request.  Don't diminish the favour you're doing (or that they owe you!) by indicating it's not a problem.  Let them know it's a challenge for you but that you're willing to make it work for them.  
• Show interest in what others are working on so that they will reciprocate.  Helping to promote others will often lead to them wanting to return the favour!

Your bragging moments need not be big or brash to be effective.  You simply want to provide others with information that you would love for them to share with others, thereby creating your own mini marketing team.   You are your own small business after all!

(for more help and direction on Bragging... check out our NEW online Bragging Rights program.)  http://tinyurl.com/8xxl3fd

Marketing ourselves through Comparisons

Mired as I am right now in completing the upcoming Bragging Rights program, I found Seth Godin's blog post today - Accentuating Differences - to really hit home.  All too often, as Seth rightly points out, we attempt to distinguish ourselves through our comparisons of our skills and talents relative to those of others.

"This is just like Brand X, but 5% cheaper, 10% faster, 20% easier to use and it comes in chocolate..."
          Seth Godin

Certainly it is worthwhile to be clear about just what the competition brings to the table relative to you, but you will benefit more from highlighting what makes you different and unique, what separates you from the crowd, than by comparisons that serve to make you part of it. 

In the end we want our audience to remember us.  It is unlikely they will if we only highlight how we are like everyone else.  Use your points of commonality to indicate how you have the fundamentals, use your areas of difference to highlight how you bring 'more' to the table than others.  This is what will set you apart and get you remembered.

Ditch the Career...

I'm an Entrepreneur.  I own a couple of businesses; businesses that I started from scratch and continue to market and grow.  Okay... typical of the expectation you have for 'entrepreneurs'.  However, I want you to consider that, regardless of where you work or who you work for, you too are an Entrepreneur.  And... if you're not thinking of yourself as one... yet... you need to start!

Let's face it.  The 'old' definitions of careers just don't fit the world of work that we experience today.  The guarantees that our parents and grandparents once had no longer exist. The 'career' framework has shifted and we must shift our view with it.  This requires us to assume total and complete responsibility for our own futures and, I would suggest, necessitates a shift from thinking of our 'careers' to adopting the perspective that we are thinking of our 'businesses'.

With all of the right-sizing and down-sizing taking place, with the shift in 'how' work is getting done, we are doing ourselves a significant disservice by failing to ensure that we remain marketable and competitive.  We shouldn't need to be formally outplaced from our jobs before we begin to think more strategically about our world of work.  Accepting all this as true, what should we start to consider?

1. Shift from the linear definition and picture of Career and adopt a more Entrepreneurial perspective.  Rather than looking for or expecting that linear career path, open yourself to a more 'adaptive' version.  This pathway may have more twists and turns.  It may require you to jump to another parallel path, or to go off-roading for a while.  Whatever the case, it is much more experiential and reflective of someone who is able to adapt to changing situations and conditions, shifting their views and approaches to 'fit' with a new reality and changing market.
2. Be Professional, not Naive.  In a recent blog post, noted author Seth Godin differentiated between these two concepts.  A naive individual will keep themselves busy doing the work of their 'job', while a professional is consistently working to improve; themselves, their systems and processes.
3. Study the Market.  Watch for the shifting business trends, watch for new growth opportunities and actively ensure that you prepare yourself to take advantage of these.  No one is going to care about your development as much as you should and need to.  You can't take advantage of new opportunities if you are always playing catch up.  It's work to stay ahead of the curve but it's those people who are willing to invest a little time and effort today that will be poised to take advantage of those opportunities in the future.
4. Network.  I know that you hear this all of the time, but it is only because it is true!  Be clear about what networking means though.  It does not mean... collect as many names and business cards as you possibly can so that you have contacts on hand when you need them.  Your job search, due to a recent layoff, should not be the first time that someone has heard from you in the past 5 years.  Instead, try to put yourself out in front of your network every 6-12 months, whether with a quick check-in call or email, sending them an article you think would be of interest to them, through your blog or newsletter etc.  Work (yep... there's that word again!) your network.  Give something to them first, before you find yourself needing to ask something of them. 
5. Study the Competition.  I know that you may consider your coworkers your friends, but you need to also consider them your competition.  If they will potentially be vying with you for that next big promotion then don't let your friendships overshadow your need to stay a step ahead.  Watch what they are doing to develop themselves, keep an eye on what skills and experience they are developing.  You might not be well-suited to duplicate it, but you definitely need to ensure that your value-added skills continue to keep-pace with or exceed theirs if you want those future opportunities.  Similarly, you need to be able to address the relative advantages of your mix of skills versus theirs.
6. Become skilled at Self-Marketing.  This is pehaps everyone's least-favourite activity and therefore one in which most fall short.  However, it is important for businesses to strategically build and market their brand and it is equally important for you to do the same.  Don't expect your hard work to have a loud enough voice to do all of your talking for you.  Ensuring that others know the nature of your contributions and achievements is necessary as a means of standing out from the crowd.  This needn't be an obnoxious recitation of all of your accomplishments at every meeting.  It requires a little more finesse, but it does require you to be very clear about what you bring to the table and to highlight and remind people periodically.  (more on this to come in the following months as I gear up to launch a new program in this area!)

Competition for jobs in the future is only going to get tougher.  Companies are using technology to accomplish more with fewer headcounts, big businesses are arising that require limited staff to operate(consider Facebook at $100 billion, Groupon at a valuation of $30 billion, Zynga at $20 billion, even Twitter at $8 Billion.  These are not businesses that require a big headcount, but they do require a skilled one!), companies are merging, roles are being outsourced overseas... the list goes on.  The Bottom Line to all of this?  You need to do the 'work' today to ensure that you have 'work' tomorrow.