Why Ditching 'Plan B' May be the Best Plan

We have all been taught that we should always have a 'Plan B', a backup plan in place, just in case 'Plan A' fails.  On the surface, this advice seems both sensible and reasonable.  There is an inherent logic to the need to have a fallback position in the event that things don't go as planned.

However, in challenging this assumption, researchers are beginning to discover that having a backup plan may have an influence on the potential success of your Plan A.

Having a Plan B may be what prevents you from achieving your Plan A

Researchers Jihae Shin (University of Wisconsin-Madison) and Katherine Milkman (University of Pennsylvania) found that people in their study who had a back-up plan for obtaining a reward, if their performance on an assigned task was insufficient for obtaining it, performed significantly worse on the task than those who had no alternative means of obtaining the reward.  

In another study, conducted at the University of Zurich (Christopher Napolitano, Alexandra Freund), it was found that backup plans altered the way people pursued their goals; backup plans served to undermine participant's motivation. Having an alternative, a fallback position, led participants to push less toward the achievement of their primary goal. 

"If you have a backup plan, then you've already admitted defeat" Henry Cavill (aka Superman)

We generally make backup plans in an effort to manage uncertainty. There is less risk to us in going after Plan A if there is alternative waiting for us in the wings. We lose less turn-around time if we have another option to pursue, should our first option prove unattainable. However, the question researchers are asking, and one that we should consider, is... If you prepare for failure, are you more likely to fail?

In looking at this question more fully researchers agree that there is a difference between goals that primarily require effort and those involving luck. Goals having a significant number of factors that are outside of our direct control (require luck) to achieve will definitely benefit from having a backup plan, or two. However, those goals relying solely on our own effort should be approached with an 'all in' mentality, with no alternative plans in sight. The mere act of thinking through a backup plan may be enough to influence us to put less effort into achieving our goals.  Instead, think only of the primary goal, that it's Plan A or bust, to achieve it.

"There's no reason to have a plan B because it distracts from plan A"  Will Smith

The need is to therefore become more strategic about how and when we use Plan B planning. Consider whether the goal you are pursuing is driven primarily by your own effort. If so, ditch the Plan B mentality and go all-in pursuing Plan A. You are far more likely to experience success by going all-in.

For those that still want and need a safety net of sorts, consider outsourcing the Plan B planning. In business this may mean you have an A-team and a B-team, where the role of the B-team is to plan an alternative route/option in the event that the A-team fails to achieve the objective. For individuals you may want to leave the B-planning to a parent, friend, spouse or coach, while directing all you have to your primary plan. Plan B exists but it is outside of your mind and focus and therefore does not have the same influence over your thinking or actions.

Operating without a net may be scary at first but you just might discover that it was your Plan B thinking that was holding you back from achieving all that you could.

The Myth of Maintaining Separate Professional and Personal Lives

One of the most common beliefs that I find with Coaching Clients is that they are great at separating their Professional and Personal lives. They point to having separate personal and professional emails and phones, they use LinkedIn for business contacts and Facebook for personal, they leave work at a set time and rarely bring work home to complete. The list goes on.

They are, of course, fooling themselves.

Some of what they list for me are great systems for helping establish some barriers and even balance between work and home, some are great productivity habits and others are great skills for simply coping.  They are not walls between work and home though.

It is impossible to maintain separate Business and Personal lives.  Impossible, regardless of how high or thick the wall you attempt to construct between the two. There is a constant element that crosses that divide every day.  That constant is you.

Given that you are the same person that is at home in the morning dealing with getting the kids off to school, the dog walked and your suit pressed, the same person in the office dealing with the boss's demands, the team meeting from hell and the coffee machine that drips out dishwater, the same person who deals with aging parents, family health issues, divorce, fights with friends... it is impossible for you to remain separate.

The experiences you have at home influence your thoughts and actions on the job.  And... the reverse is also true.  Don't kid yourself.  You ALWAYS bring work home with you.  And you NEVER leave your personal self sitting outside the office door at the start of the work day.

This is a critical point to get.  Without understanding this you may not be developing the best strategies and solutions for problems you may be experiencing.

• That problem you are having with your coworker may be more a reflection of the issues you are experiencing with your spouse but... your coworker is a more comfortable target for your frustration
• The challenges you have with parenting may explain your frustration with leading your work team
• Your lack of decisiveness on the job right now may be due to the overwhelm you are experiencing with all of the decisions required by being the executor of your parent's will, while dealing with combative siblings

No aspect of our life is separate because we are not divided.  We are a whole being and need to look at our Professional and Personal lives as components of that whole.  What happens in one aspect of our life impacts other aspects.  

If you are working with a Coach on a business challenge expect that you may have to explore some personal issues.  I have had Managers who were to receive coaching on a decline in their Leadership skills that actually needed support and coaching through the divorce they were dealing with.  I have had Managers who were to receive coaching on a decline in their Productivity that actually needed support and coaching dealing with the fallout of their spouse's terminal illness.  

How you are doing and feeling in one area of your life impacts how you are doing and feeling in all others.

You are one person, with one life.  You simply have multiple activities and roles.  It is the blending of all of those that create the life you live.  Thinking of them as separate can prevent you from finding the answers you want or the help you might need.  

Creating The Good Life

When you think of living 'the Good Life', what are the images that come to mind?  For many of us (roughly 75% according to studies) we picture a life of leisure that is driven by our wealth. A good life is one without financial worries or concerns. Perhaps it is because so many of us unconsciously connect the need for money with having a Good Life that we feel we are falling short. I mean... how much money is enough?

However, according to a 75 year study by Harvard, the key to truly living a Good Life, a life that keeps us happier, healthier and feeling most fulfilled and satisfied is - good relationships. The study, which has followed a group of 724 men from 1938 to present day, has determined that it is the sense of social connectedness, to family, friends and community, that is the biggest determinant in how happy and healthy we will be in our later years.

Note that being socially connected is not about how many friends or relatives you have but, rather, the quality of the relationships you have with those around you. How close you are, how connected you feel, has an influence on your happiness and your health.  Those participants who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were those experiencing the best health at age 80.  This means that your current level of overall satisfaction with your relationships is the biggest predictor of your health as an octogenarian.

Certainly, the opposite was found to be true amongst participants also.  Those who experienced loneliness, who felt more isolated from others than they wanted to be, experienced a faster decline in their health in mid life; their brains declined sooner and they lived far shorter lives.  In short, loneliness was found to be toxic.

Think now of what our constant pursuit of the dollar does to our relationships, what the cost of 60 hour weeks does to the depth and quality of the relationships we have. Though it is the quality of the relationship not the quantity of time spent in or on it that counts, you do need to be physically and emotionally present for the time you are there.  How present are you?

If you are finding that your relationships are suffering, it may just be time for you to start making a couple of changes.  Consider replacing some 'screen' time with some people time, reaching out to someone you haven't spoken to in years, opening yourself to new relationships or even to deepening the ones you've got.

'Cause you got to have friends, the feeling's oh so strong.  You've got to have friends, to make that day last long'     (song lyric ... You've Got to Have Friends)

As the research is now showing us, our lack of presence in our relationships (if not our lack of relationships period) may not just prove harmful to the relationship itself but may just be killing us as well. If you are working full out to ensure a financially secure retirement, you may want to take a moment to consider the quality of the retirement years you are creating for yourself.  Your ultimate health and happiness depend on it.

And for an extra boost... let's leave you with the Divine Miss M telling you in her own special way...

Live Without Regret: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

How would you choose to live today - if you knew you only had 6 months to live?

Pretty powerful question, isn't it?  However, despite it perhaps being a somewhat morbid thought, we are all dying.  We likely have significantly longer than 6 months, but our time here is limited and, therefore, so too are the experiences that we can choose to fill our time with.

Are you filling your time with experiences that are meaningful and fulfilling?  Will you be in a position to look back on your life with few, if any, regrets?

I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'

And he said, Someday I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'                             

 (Tim McGraw lyrics - Live Like You Were Dying)

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent a number of years working in palliative care with patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives.  She began a blog recording her patients thoughts as they reflected back on their lives and ultimately wrote a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.  She found that there were strong and consistent themes that surfaced repeatedly.

1.  I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

All too often we get caught up in worrying about what others might say or think that we hold ourselves back from doing what we dream of.  We don't dance in the rain, we don't sing with the windows open, we don't laugh out loud.  We live a life of unfulfilled dreams.

What would you do if you weren't worried what others would say?

2.  I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

Almost every man Bronnie nursed expressed this regret, of having spent so much of their lives caught up in a race not of their making.  Only you can determine whether your work is fulfilling all of your dreams or not, but it is worth taking the time to assess it's true value to you.

What is working hard giving to you and what is the cost?  Is it worth it?

3.  I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

We often suppress our feelings in order to maintain peace in our relationships and sometimes as a means of avoiding getting hurt.  However, many of us experience stress and illness because of unexpressed and unresolved feelings and, sometimes, we miss out on positive relationships and levels of intimacy because we withhold our feelings.

What feelings are you failing to give voice to that are serving to limit the life you live and the 'you' that you could become?

4.  I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

This is a big one for many people in today's world of never-changing 'busyness'.  We get so caught in the 'doing' of activities that we fail to give our friendships the time and effort they deserve and need to truly flourish.

What friendships have you let slide and what can you do now to reconnect and rekindle them?

5.  I wish that I had let myself be happier.

It is surprising how many feel that happiness is something that happens to them rather than recognising that happiness is a choice.  Old habits and patterns may leave us stuck in our comfort zone rather than pursuing new activities, people and experiences that would open us to the happiness we seek.  Happiness, it seems, is a matter of perspective, of seeing something as an opportunity rather than as a setback.

What steps could you take to reframe the way you are viewing negative or limiting circumstances to free you to feeling happier about your life and options?

Although the fear of dying is pretty universal, thinking about our death should serve not to limit or restrict us, but to motivate us to live our lives more proactively, purposefully and passionately.  Consider this...

What's your greatest regret in life so far... and what will you do NOW to change it?

And... for those of you that have not yet had the pleasure of listening to Tim McGraw's song - Live Like You Were Dying...  do yourself a favor and take a moment now, or you'll regret it!

Life Priorities - Got Yours?

What are your Life Priorities?

No... not your to-do list.  I'm talking about the true gut-wrenching priorities, the 'things' that you would sacrifice all else for, that you measure your success by, that you put your energy toward, that life isn't worth living without.

Got them?  Hmmmm.

For some of us, this is a challenging question.  Sure, we have some work priorities (you know, those files piled up on the corner of our desks) and we have some financial priorities (fixing the leak in the bathtub) and we may have some family priorities (coaching our kid' soccer team) and we may have some personal priorities (didn't we just renew that gym membership?)...  but what about at least one true, overriding, it-influences-everything-else priority?

I don't think that many of my clients would be able to articulate one and, if they did, would be very success when they measured their actions and choices against it.  Paying lip-service to a priority is not the same as using it as the target against which all choices are measured.  And yet, this week, while coaching in Switzerland (I know, I know, but somebody had to do it!) I have had the privilege of meeting some people who not only are extraordinarily clear about their life priorities, they have made choices and sacrifices in support of those priorities.  Willingly.  Unfailingly.  Without complaint.

It was their joy and pleasure to work in support of that priority, even if it meant delaying their own personal gratification, because it was in clear service of that higher purpose.  A powerful lesson to me as i listened to the intensity with which they felt this, the passion that filled them, the clarity of their mission.

It struck me that, working primarily in North America as I do... that we are sorely lacking in a clear sense of our Life Priorities and what having them implies for the way in which we live our lives because, if we really believed fully in one Priority in our Life... we would live in service to it.  We would make choices in support of it and derive happiness and satisfaction from the opportunity to do so.  I don't know about you, but I don't think I remember having these kinds of discussions with my friends.  And yet... why not?

In a time in which most people seem dissatisfied with their lives, their careers, their choices, their purpose and calling, it seems that there are those for whom it is simple and clear.  In the movie City Slickers,  Jack Palance holds up a finger and remarks that life is all about 'One Thing'.  What's yours?  What's that one priority in your life that gives it meaning, purpose and shape?  What your One Thing that serves to define your choices and is your yardstick of a life well-lived?

I've experienced first hand the beauty and power of having clarity over your Life Priority.  If you lack this, spending time discovering your 'One Thing' and making choices that serve it, is likely your best key to living your best life.

Bullet Journalling

Still looking for a way to keep those New Year's goals and plans in check?  Find that your desire to use that

App to keep yourself organized, or that hot new 'system' that's out has fallen by the wayside and is now collecting dust in the corner with your exercise ball?  Don't despair, web designer Ryder Carroll may have the simplest solution for you yet!

After over a decade of development, trial and error, Carroll has introduced to the public his method for planning, tracking and note taking - all in one simple little notebook.  The Bullet Journal Notebook uses any blank paper notebook, providing an Analog system for the Digital Age.  The ease and the simplicity of the system are likely its strongest benefits.  No steep learning curve here.

Track the Past, Organise the Present, and Plan for the Future

 Check out this video for a quick overview and demonstration...



I have long kept a blank book on my desk, always in easy reach, within which I keep an ongoing record of quotes, facts and information crossing my desk that I don't want to lose.  Someone mentions a great book and I jot it down.  I read a quote that resonates within me, I jot it down.  I come across a fact or statistic that I know I will want to use in a program or future article, I jot it down.  Rather than writing them onto sticky-notes that end up getting lost or stuck to something that got filed elsewhere, I always know where to find those 'missing' pieces of information.  A quick flip through past entries will always spark an idea, action or new thought, helping to shift me out of any state of inertia that may have overcome me.

Carroll's use of his journal is inspired.  It doesn't require any fancy Apps or programs, no complicated systems to learn or perfect.  Simple systems are often the most powerful - because we do them.  Nothing works if you don't use or do it.  If you've been struggling with keeping yourself organized or on-track, or have found that your systems for keeping up with your life seem to be sucking up more time than you're spending on doing the things on your list - maybe it's time to grab a blank journal and give it a try.  You can pick up a little more information on Carroll's system by visiting his website at www.bulletjournal.com.

In the end, all that matters is that you have a way of getting things done.  Finding a way to keep yourself on track can help you not just get more done, but helps you to stay busy doing the right things.  Any system that helps you do this is the 'right' system... for you.  If you haven't found yours yet, give this one a go.  The simplicity of the system may be just what you have been looking for!

Planning your Becoming

It's that time of year where the internet abounds with ideas for setting your resolutions, suggestions on keeping your resolutions and consolation to those that break them.  You can find tools and articles to help you set your goals, ways to make them SMART, and systems to help you break them down into manageable bites and schedule them.

Instead, I want to suggest that you add a dimension into your goal-setting this year.  All too often we focus on what we want to do or have.  Our focus is on what we want to 'get' out of and from our goal setting, but we spend little time reflecting on what that achievement will make of us.  We are all shaped by our experiences in some way.  What we live through, the way we approach and experience it, will shape the person we become.  It therefore makes sense to devote some time to considering, and planning, our Becoming.

“The major reason for setting a goal is for what it makes of you to accomplish it. What it makes of you will always be the far greater value than what you get.”  Jim Rohn

We can all set goals that are achievable, allowing us to check them off the list and feel good about ourselves in being able to do so.  However, asking ourselves whether that goal aided us in becoming 'more' of the person we want and hope to be, is likely going to be a more challenging criteria.

Instead of simply establishing that almost inevitable New Year's resolution of weight-loss (come on... we all likely have a few pounds to lose after the holidays!) consider instead that the goal is not simply to lose weight.  In Planning your Becoming you take this a step further.  Perhaps you have always struggled to lose the weight, or perhaps your challenge was not in losing but in keeping the weight off.  The goal then is not truly to merely lose the weight but to gain the ability to remain with a lifestyle plan that allows you to create and maintain a healthy weight.  What do you need to 'become' in order to make this true of you?  A weight-loss plan merely becomes the vehicle by which you become the type of person that no longer needs a conscious weight-loss plan with a definitive start and stop, you simply 'are' the weight you want to to be, leading a lifestyle that supports that - effortlessly.

Your efforts shift slightly as your focus shifts.  No longer are you rewarding and celebrating each pound lost as the milestone, but instead rewarding the resiliency to stick with the plan, you recognise each donut you say no to as a nod to your determination, each sit-up and push-up as a testament to your internal strength and determination.

These are the life-lessons that surround us, that have not only helped shape the person that we have Become thus far, but that continue to shape us into the person we will be in the future.  Who do you want to be? Craft and plan now for your Becoming.  Build goals that test and strengthen and build the character traits you admire, the skills you want to possess, the values you believe in.  It's not simply about checking things off of the list, it's about checking the right things off.

Take a look at your list of resolutions and goals for the year and assess what their accomplishment truly means to you.  What life lessons will they provide, what character traits do they support or allow you to test or discover, what values do they build?  Who you Become is within you to create.  Begin shaping it consciously by establishing goals and accomplishments that support your Becoming.

Everything we do teaches us something about ourselves.  Spend your time wisely, teaching yourself those things that are worth learning.

Pack your Bags...

Whether your business works to an actual 'year' ending in December or not, we all tend to have an internal clock that does.  We can feel the current year ticking off the seconds toward its close, and can sense the New Year lurking around the corner, waiting to begin.

We anticipate the impending end of the year and often look to it for closure; an ending to all those things that did not go 'right' for us this year, an ending to moments that have come and gone, an ending to projects we worked on, activities we accomplished, relationships we moved away from.  Look to the ending of the year as closure on those parts of ourselves and our lives this year that deserve and even, perhaps, need an ending. Let them remain here in this year, without being dragged forward into the next.  This conscious sense of completion is often what we need to prevent us from carrying unwanted luggage with us into everything that is yet to be.  

Before focusing on what is yet to be though, we should always take time to consider what luggage we do want and choose to bring with us into the New Year.  We may have unfinished tasks to continue to work on, we have relationships that provide us with love and strength that move forward with us also, we have accomplishments that instill us with pride that should be packed and brought forward to everything else that we do.  Many people make the mistake of bringing the wrong set of luggage with them into the future.  Don't you be one of them. Pack all of the negativity of the past into the cases clearly marked and labelled as... 'Toss'.  Don't hoard these memories; clear out your mental cupboards for new experiences, emotions, beliefs, relationships and skills.  However, also recognise that there is a set of luggage, labelled 'Keep', that represent all of the positive elements in your Bring Forward pile; the relationships that support and build you, the memories of your 'Wins' and successes, the skills you have developed, the hopes for more and better in your life, the optimism and faith they will happen, the determination to ensure they do, the belief you are deserving.  

Start the New Year by bringing into it the the right baggage, leaving behind any of the baggage that would get in your way, that would prevent you from being and becoming all that is within you.  Pack your bags for the trip you want to take, leaving behind everything that would simply weigh you down.  Take the time now to Pack your Bags for the kind of trip you want the New Year to be, leaving behind all of those articles that don't and won't serve you.  

You get to craft the year you want to have.  Begin now by metaphorically packing for it.  Consider taking pen to paper and creating an actual list of what you want the New Year to look like, and then creating the corresponding shopping list of skills, memories and people that will support those goals.  This is your packing list.  Put them in your bags, pick 'em up and get ready to step into the New Year, armed with what is needed for you to succeed!  

That is my wish for all of you - a truly happy and successful New Year!

The Someday Syndrome

The Someday Syndrome is a real phenomenon and, without even knowing specifically 'who' is reading this post, I know you have each suffered from it at some point, if you are not suffering from it now.  It is that pesky thought that...

• You will write that book... Someday
• You will take that vacation... Someday
• You will start that exercise program... Someday
• You will learn to speak a second language... Someday
• You will go for that promotion... Someday

We have all heard ourselves say this at one point or another, but it's important to recognise the negative influence that the word 'Someday' has upon our accomplishments, experiences and dreams.  It is a form of procrastination.  While Procrastination is the habit of putting off something that you need to do, but don't want to do, the Someday Syndrome has you putting off something that you want and dream of doing.  Why would we and do we do this to ourselves?

Our use of the word 'someday' becomes an excuse to not take action, serving almost as a 'free pass' of sorts because we are not openly denying that we'll take action, we are simply deferring it to some later point in time.  

Our Somedays then come to represent the collision between our good intentions and ideas, with our excuses.

We are fooling ourselves into believing that we will get to it eventually.  However, every someday lacks a specific 'start' time, resulting in us simply waiting for 'someday' to come around.  Our weeks have a lot of 'days' in them but... none are named 'Some' and we therefore keep waiting for the right day to roll around.  

Instead, we need to shift Someday to This-day.  When is a good time to start, if not now?  Use the following steps and ideas to help you eliminate the Someday Syndrome from your life!

1. Set a specific start date.  When are you going to start?  If not now... when?  Setting a specific date helps to make the intention firm.
2. Write it down and tell people of your intention.  If you really want to make this happen, create some accountability.
3. Create a plan.  Map out the specific action steps you will take to making your ideas and visions a reality.  They don't need to be big steps, but you do need to create a plan detailing 'how' you're going to turn your someday into reality.
4. Get support.  There is certainly no rule that says we have to do things alone.  Get support for your journey or find someone who is also interested in shifting their Someday to This-day and get them started with you.  Having others who support your intention makes it easier to push on through the difficult moments.

Turn all of those Someday dreams into reality by shifting the way you think about them.  If there is Some-thing you are thinking of doing Some-day then you need Some-one (you!) to step up and take action, shifting Some-day to This-day if not to To-day!

Your Personal Tipping Point

In his book The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell wrote about the magical moment when an idea crosses
some invisible threshold and goes viral.  It's the point at which this very shift takes place that people want to come to know, understand and replicate.  In business, this is an important and key concept, a way to grow your business astronomically.

There is for each of us as individuals a Personal Tipping Point though too.  We each have a invisible moment in time where the Longing for the life you imagine becomes Regret for the life you've let slip by.  Often, it feels as though this moment occurred in our sleep where, upon waking, we experience the sense that our dreams have passed, that the life we have dreamed of living is not going to happen. For many, tipping over from longing to regret seems uncontrollable and perhaps even inevitable.

The tip into regret changes our perspective on our life.  When we now are regretting the life not lived, the actions not taken, many then presume that the time to 'try' is past, that they have missed their opportunity.  For a few though, the feeling of regret serves to spur them on.  They recognise that this is not a feeling they want to continue to experience and use it as the impetus to get back on course.  Reversing the Tip is always an option, but it often proves a difficult one for many to manage.  Easier by far, is to prevent the Tip from happening in the first place.

There is a trick to managing this Tipping Point, a trick that we can use to prevent the Tip from ever taking place, ensuring that we forestall (forever) the experience of regretting the life we've led.  That trick?  Taking Action! 

As it turns out, regret is typically built upon the actions we failed to take more than on those we did.  Even if the action we took failed to take us in our desired direction, it took us out of the state of inertia and into a state of momentum.  We will always make some wrong moves, but if we're moving we can course correct.  Additionally, many of those 'wrong' first moves enable us to build a stronger plan for moving forward, often reshaping a 'better' future vision for ourselves as a result.

Action is not only the strategy that prevents us from tipping into regret, but the same strategy used to overcome it.  Wallowing in the thought of what never will be creates inertia.  To break from this you need to DO something, take some action, that will shift you from feeling that you have missed the boat to putting you back at the helm.

In this instance, even baby steps count!  One small step forward can be enough to begin to Tip the Scales back in your favour!

Setting your Life GPS

I may have many skills in life but having a good sense of direction is definitely not one of them!  My son, at
age 4, was already correcting and directing me when driving together.  It means that, for someone like me, the GPS proves to be one of the greatest inventions of all time.  It helps me to get where I'm going, and to arrive on time, without needless detours.  When heading out the door on a business trip, especially somewhere I've never been, my family will ask if 'Hugh' is accompanying me.  (yes... I have named my GPS Hugh, given that I have it on the Australian man's voice setting!)

When I'm just driving in familiar surroundings my GPS is all but useless to me.  (sorry Hugh)  It lets me know where I am, but I don't need to know that if I already know where I am.  The only time that it proves its worth is when I've told it where I want to go and it helps me to get there.  This is especially helpful when I've lost my way.  If I know where I want to go, Hugh is there to help put me on the right path.

Life is not all that different.  If we know where we are already then we have little need for assistance from anyone else.  We are operating in the familiar and comfortable, in the 'known'.  It is when we step off the beaten path though, and begin to venture out into the unknown that we could use some help in finding our way.  However, we need one essential piece of information if others are going to truly be of assistance.  We have to be able to tell them where we want to go.

The GPS in our car is all but useless if we do not let it know our destination.  So too the receipt of any life advice.  We need to, in essence, GPS our life.  We need to take the time to determine our desired destination and then seek out the help and advice we need to get there.  Without that clear understanding of where we want to end up, people's advice (well meaning though it may be) will often serve to steer us off course.  Moving, perhaps, to a destination of their choosing, but not to our own.

Taking the time to set our Life GPS helps to ensure that the actions and steps that we take move us in our desired direction, and help to keep us on course.  The only downfall with my Life GPS, unlike the one in my car of course, is that it doesn't sound like Hugh Jackman!

Life-Hacking - Could Yours Use a Little?

Life-hacking.  This is a real term, a real phenomenon.  Popularized by Tim Ferriss, through his best-selling book The 4-Hour Work Week, life-hacking is helping people to redesign their lives, their work, their paths, their approaches.  According to Wikipedia, life-hacking ...

refers to any productivity trick, shortcut, skill, or novelty method to increase productivity and efficiency, in all walks of life; in other words, anything that solves an everyday problem in a clever or non-obvious way might be called a life hack.

Take Alex Day for example.  This young UK singer/musician hacked the UK music industry such that, with no manager, no producer, no agent and no PR help... took his single to #4 on the UK charts on Christmas Day, their biggest day of the year.  Oh... and he did it in 8 weeks.  Unheard of perhaps, but he hacked the system.  He looked for alternatives to the 'typical' processes, worked around the 'way it works' established systems, found a couple of loopholes and...  made it happen.  (see his story here)

Consider musician Amanda Palmer.  In her Ted Talk, aptly named the Art of Asking (here's the link), Amanda describes how, after being dropped by her record producer (because her band didn't bring in enough sales and revenue), she put her album out for free and simply asked people to pay what they'd like for it.  She netted well over a million in sales.

Two recent examples that I have simply tripped over (I didn't even go looking) that both highlight individuals that were willing (and able) to think outside of the proverbial box and try a different approach.  They weren't constrained in their minds by 'how things work' because those systems clearly weren't going to work for them.  Rather than give up or move on or... even worse... conform, they invented a new process, one that would give them the results that they were after.

How might this work for you?

How many times have you limited or restricted yourself from going after something that you want because there weren't enough resources to make it happen?  Because you didn't have the time to invest?  Because you didn't have the skills?  Perhaps all of these would be true if you were following the 'tried and true' approach to the issue but... what it... you reinvented the approach so that you didn't need the money, the expertise, the knowledge the... whatever is holding you back?  You create the rules and... go for it!

Re-invent.  Re-design.  Re-craft.  Re-tool.

When it comes to your life don't hate it... hack it!  The possibilities just grew exponentially!


(and... if you haven't read this yet...  here's the link to go buy it.  Read it.  Learn from it.  Do it.)

Life Choices Made Easy

We often find ourselves at a crossroad, two divergent choices in life.  As we make a choice our life and our options then veer off in a different direction, leading us to make other choices.  Some of these choices lead us toward our desired goals, some will lead us further away.  At every crossroad of choices we face though, there will always be an opportunity to shift back on track, to direct our path back toward our desired future.  This means that if we are not on track it is because we chose not to be.

Most people feel that when they are faced with that moment of choice they are being asked to choose between something that is easy-not-to-do and something that is difficult-to-do.  Sometimes we just don't feel up to the challenge of facing that difficult hurdle and we opt for the easy path.  The more that we do so the more that we find ourselves drifting from our desired course.

The issue of course is that it is simply easier to choose easy over difficult.  However, moving yourself in a positive direction, the one that leads to your defined success, need not be difficult.  Often, it just needs a little reframing.

The most common mistake we make lies in the fact that we have spent more time thinking about, defining, and crafting our desired future and, as a result, we tend to think of it in its 'finished' terms.  It is therefore big and distant.  Of course it looks difficult and challenging.  It represents a significant distance and change from where we are in the moment.  Instead, we need to break it down.  What is the one small step we can take toward that vision and goal that moves us along that path?  Instead of our choice then being between easy-not-to-do and difficult-to-do, we are now faced with a choice between easy-not-to-do and easy-to-do.  Much more appealing.  Who isn't going to choose the option to move forward to their goals if it is just as easy as not doing something?

Use this any time that you face a challenge and begin to feel resistant.  You know it's the right choice, you know it's what you should do, what you want to do, but you are fearful.  You will recognise the moment when this occurs because you begin to find yourself making excuses not to take action.  The I'm not, I can't, I don't, I won't phrases begin.  Before you firmly settle on the easy-not-to path, reframe your other option.  Break it down.  If you are hitting resistance it is only because you are facing too big an obstacle or are feeling overwhelmed by its sheer size.  Make it smaller.  Break it down until you hear yourself thinking... I could do that.  And then choose it.

Reframing your life and your choices so that you are continuously facing choices between the easy-not-to-do and easy-to-do will cement your path to success faster than any other piece of advice I can offer.  Not all of life needs to be hard, not everything needs to be an obstacle.  'Life' is more than capable of tossing boulders into our path to disrupt our journey.  We can pole vault over them or we can build ladders one step at a time.  Both get us over, past and beyond the obstacles.  If you can't vault, step.  It's easy.

Your Daily Plan for Success

I'm sure that you have a plan for your day; a to-do list, a schedule of appointments.  You may use a different system than I do (phone, computer, notebook) but you likely have a list of what needs to get done today and may already have things listed for tomorrow and subsequent days.

Have you ever wondered about what your daily agenda, your daily schedule of events, has to say about you?  John C. Maxwell, author of over 60 books on Leadership, says that...

The secret of your success is determined by your daily agenda

He believes that simply looking at how you structure and organize a 'typical' day, how you build your daily agenda, will provide him with firm insight into how successful you will ultimately become in life.

Let's face it.  Most of us merely jot down those items that we feel 'must' get done that day - those urgent and necessary activities.  However, this is just planning to 'keep up'.  In so doing, we are seriously underestimating the value and power of 'today'.  We leave for 'tomorrow' any thought or plan of our own growth and development.  

Instead, you need to have your own Personal Growth Plan. You need to have a vision for yourself of your development.  This is not something to leave to your boss, they will have their own agenda.  This is your agenda for you.  This is you crafting your life, the direction it will take, the role you'll play, the person you will become.  When you have created a strong enough vision for yourself, you need to build action steps into your plan.

Each day your agenda needs to include at least one thing you do to grow and develop.  One thing.  This is not something to be put off, this is not something to be deferred to the weekend.  Each day you need to take one step, however small, toward your growth.  Think of this as making a daily deposit into your bank account.  This is you investing in you.  Each day that you fail to make that contribution means that you will have that much less to work with at the end of the year and the longer you will have to 'save' until you can reap the rewards.

Consider how often we short-change ourselves.  Our daily agendas get packed full of action steps we feel we 'must' take in order to move other people's agendas forward.  Look at your list.  How much of your day is currently taken up with doing for others?  How many scheduled items on your list are you doing for your benefit?

Add one thing.  One thing each day, every day, that aids you in your Growth Plan.

No compromises.  No excuses.  If you want success in your life it begins...  today.  What's your one thing?

The Mythology of You

We live through events.
We replay those events in our minds.
We talk about our experience of those events.
We remember the events we share with others.

Sounds like a pretty clear cycle and yet, it is this cycle that leads us to create our own Mythology, to shape our personal story.  We all experience 'things' throughout our lives.  Large and small, these experiences help to shape and define us.  But... is it really the 'actual' event shaping us or our interpretation of that event?

We replay events over and over in our minds. The more important they were to us in some way, the more frequent the replaying.  Much like a favourite movie that we pull off the shelf to watch, though we've already seen it a dozen times or more.  With every replay and retelling of our stories though, we reshape the events, morphing our memories into our 'version', the one that fits best for us.  In doing so, we have created our own mythology, our own story of us.

I know that it feels 'real', that it feels as though we are merely telling it 'like it was', but if we were able to put a film-version of the events as they occurred side by side with a film version of our story of it, there would be distinct and clear differences between the reality and our reality.  This is true for everyone.  It's one of the reasons why witnesses to events are so unreliable and why multiple witnesses are often needed to gain a clear picture of what truly occurred.  The actual story needs to get pieced together.

What is important for each of us is not to try to avoid all embellishment, to strip our memories down to the bare bones of 'reality' or 'truth' but, rather, to come to understand the reshaping.  The way in which we morph our memories tells a great deal about us, our needs and what is important to us.

Understanding our mythology, and that of others, is more important than uncovering the 'truth' of the event.  It is enough that it has become our (or their) truth.  Our mythology helps to shape and define our future choices.  It's not important whether it's accurate, only that it's our story, whether we are highlighted as the victim or the hero, the antagonist or protagonist, the come-from-behind Queen, the Lover, the Leader, the Warrior or Peacemaker.  Our Mythology has served to shape the person we are and will continue to mould the person we will become.  We are now as we once imagined ourselves to be.

Don't like the ending that is likely to play out for you?  Start rewriting your story.  As the author of your Mythology, you have control over the telling of your story.  If yours isn't heading toward the ending you desire, get out your metaphorical eraser and get started on the rewrite.

Despite our shared conception that we are rational actors making intelligent decisions based on an accurate view of the world and ourselves, precisely the opposite is true.       Seth Godin

And so it Begins...

... another New Year.  Fresh and untarnished like that first snowfall.  The snow so deep that it drapes all of the objects beneath it, rounding their surfaces and softening the landscape.  The snow as yet walked on, with its unblemished surface.  This is your year.  You get to lay down your own tracks, determine your best path. As you don your winter gear and head out into your year, what thoughts and plans do you have for what awaits you?

... another New Year.  Yours to do what you you want with it.  What are your expectations for the year?  A new job, house or relationship?  Perhaps it's time to focus on strengthening the relationships you have, or your skills in your current role.  Maybe it's time to focus on your personal and spiritual growth, perhaps your health.  If so, what new experiences and learnings do you have in store?  What path do you plan to take to get you there?

... another New Year.  To do more of what makes you smile, more of what stretches and challenges you, more of what creates memories worth holding on to.

... another New Year.  To close the door on the past year and open the door to the new and all it represents.  All of the new opportunities that await you, all of the new places to explore, all of the new people to meet, all of the new things to do and learn from.

... another New Year.  To step boldly forward into what can be, leaving what was behind.  Another year to be what you want, not what you were, to be 'more', however you define that for yourself.

... another New Year.  What are you going to do with yours?

Finding Your Passion

When it comes to choosing a career direction we are often told to 'Follow our Bliss'.  The goal being,of course, to engage in work that we love and are passionate about.   For many of my clients this proves to be good in theory but much more difficult in practice.  Most lament that they don't seem to feel passionate about any job and therefore they feel they must settle for something that they are perhaps only mildly interested in.

Often the challenge in determining what 'job' might push your 'passionate button' rests in getting past the title. We have preconceived notions not only of what specific jobs and roles do, but of whether or not we are capable or suited to do them.  All too often we discount opportunities simply based on their title, and all that conveys to us.  'No, I wouldn't like that' or 'No, I don't have the skills for that' or, even worse, 'No, I could never do that'... are the phrases that limit our choices and restrict us from truly being able to explore, and determine, where our true passion lies.

The following exercise has proven useful to many of my clients in uncovering new paths and new sources of passion for them.  If you're feeling a little stuck or want to establish that 'path of purpose and passion'... give it a try.  You might be surprised what you discover about yourself, your interests and the path you could be on!

The Work...

Step One.  Get rid of your labels.  We want to start with a clean slate, no preconceived notions about what a 'job' is or does or whether you would be interested in it, good at it, or qualified to do it.  So... no focusing on titles, just ignore them completely.  For our purposes they are completely irrelevant. So too with job level...  we don't care what it is, how much money it pays or where it's located.  Also irrelevant.

Step Two.  Go to the job boards and read as many descriptions of different jobs as possible.  Read descriptions from different areas, disciplines, levels.  There is no pre-qualifying what might be a fit for you.  We are working from the broadest part of the funnel here, so you want to go as wide and broad as possible.  You don't currently know where your passion lies so don't disqualify anything before you check it out fully.

Step Three.  As you read over the descriptions, highlight for yourself any aspect of the description that strikes you as interesting or exciting.  It doesn't matter whether it is practical for your lifestyle or whether you have the skills to do it.  Keep an ongoing list of these elements, adding to the list any segment from any description you read that stirs your soul, or that moves you even a little!

Step Four.  Once you have uncovered a number of items and recorded them in your log, start to categorize them by their key skill and functional areas.

Step Five.  Analyze any of the trends and insights that you gain concerning the areas of interest that are now uncovered.  Spend some time thinking about how it fits to your current career path.  Are you on the right path already?  Are there some minor shifts and tweaks you need to make to strengthen your interest and passion?  Is it a major change that is needed to set you on the right course?

Step Six.  Determine what you need to create this new direction for yourself.  More education?  A coach or mentor to help bolster your skills?  A new role entirely?  Consider what you need to set you on the right path and list them.

Step Seven.  Should be intuitive...  go out and take action.  Even one step in the right direction will feel empowering and help stir the embers of your passion, filling you with purpose.

Oh, and one final caveat.  This is your list, your choices, your passion.  Other people get to choose their own path, don`t let them choose yours.  Sometimes what others want for us will not align with what we want for ourselves.  Uncover your passion and pursue it.  You only get this one go `round...  it`s a much more interesting ride to fill it with work that you love and that fulfills your purpose than spend it working to fill someone else`s.

House Wanted!

We're moving.  Soon.  The problem is... I haven't yet found a new house to move into.  Okay, so there have been some hiccups along the way preventing me from taking action on this sooner (aren't there always?), but now that I have started looking it is interesting to see the life lessons that I am getting.

To start with, we are downsizing.  We don't need a large house anymore (kids are 'mostly' gone!) and, quite honestly, I would rather travel the world with my money than sit in something my money pays for.  I don't consider myself particularly materialistic, so I figured that the downsizing 'thing' would be a snap.  However, it is amazing how much 'stuff' you accumulate over the years that becomes labelled 'necessary' to and for the way you live.  Sheer number of books alone requires more shelving than I will ultimately have.

I started the house-search with few requirements.  I, mistakenly, believed that I would be an 'easy' client to please.  Once out looking though, it quickly became apparent that instead of my adapting to fit the house, I am going to require adaptations be made to the house, to fit the way I live.

For instance, I do not and will not require both an eat-in kitchen and a dining room.  One or the other will need to go to give me more usable space.  Kitchens are make or break areas for me.  If it doesn't at least have the potential to be a kitchen that is functional for me... I'm done.  Don't even show me the rest of the house because I won't get past it.

What I am discovering is that in order for any new house I purchase to become my 'home', I will need to make some changes to the house that allow it to work to fit the way I live. I am unwilling to modify the way I live to fit the house.

This is a lesson hard-won over my lifetime;  having often found myself over the years compromising my choices on behalf of others.  Typically, these 'compromises' made the other party far happier than they ever made me.  Perhaps I'm unwilling to compromise my wants in purchasing a house because I have money on the line, but it's sad to recognise that all of my compromises in the past also came with a price.  One which I'm not sure that I was clear on having paid.

My lesson through all of this?  Ensure that you are clear about exactly what you are getting from your exchanges with others AND what the cost to you is.  Don't ever say yes unless it is a price you are willing to pay.  I know that I have been guilty of over-paying in the past.  If this experience has taught me anything it has highlighted for me an unwillingness to continue to pay for something that I am not getting an equitable return from.  Certainly not in business and not in my personal life anymore either.

Will I find the perfect house?  No.  But really, I'm not looking for perfection.  I simply want a house that has the potential to become my home.  As long as it has the ability to change to fit my lifestyle I'm willing to sign.

Finding Your Purpose

As I write this it is the long-weekend here in Canada and I am enjoying the break up at our family cottage.  Okay... 'break' might be a bit of a misnomer since I am busy cleaning out cupboards of any traces of the mice that decided to join us over the colder winter months, cleaning out the gardens, putting the dock in... and whatever pieces of work I've brought with me from the office because... there's always something!

However, it is a totally different environment from the one I left behind and it definitely feels 'break-like' because of that.  As I sit here, early morning, sipping my Chai and watching the mist rise from the lake as the sun catches hold, the sole loon drifting past the end of the dock...  it seems the perfect time and place to think about the concept of Purpose.

I just finished a number of weeks of intensive coaching sessions.  Although we were there for an entirely different intent, it was interesting how often people would ask me what 'work' I thought they were suited for.  They were looking for some direction in finding work that was more satisfying to them, that seemed to 'fit' them better than what they were currently doing.  In essence, they were wondering if I had insights into their Purpose.

Like many, they were frustrated that others had seemingly found 'it' while they continued to struggle with finding anything that seemed to resonate within them, something that filled them with joy, satisfaction or... calling.  I recently came across a great exercise designed to help you discover your Purpose.  Anyone can do this exercise... even those of you that do not believe in the concept of Purpose!  This is taken from the blog of Steve Pavlina, a Personal Development guru.  I do recommend checking out his website (www.stevepavlina.com)

The Exercise:  Sit down in a quiet place at a time that you won't be disturbed (and yes, this means no phone calls, text messages or emails either!).  Take out a blank piece of paper, write My Life's Purpose across the top and... start writing.  Write down anything and everything that comes to mind.  No qualifying.  It doesn't matter if it's practical, doable or even remotely interesting to you.  Keep writing.

Push out the thoughts as though it's your life's mission to fill page after page of ideas.  As Steve puts it, you keep writing ...

...until you have the answer that makes you cry.  This is your purpose.

For some this will come quickly, you are looking for the moment where you write down an idea that fills you with emotion.  You might experience smaller emotional moments along the way that are signs you are getting closer to your true purpose.  It is that larger emotional surge, the idea that resonates fully within you, that defines your purpose.  You don't even have to believe in the idea of  a life's purpose for this exercise to work!

The perfect exercise to do at the end of the dock on a peaceful day at the cottage, or on your back patio, in a coffeeshop with your favourite beverage, or hunkered down over your kitchen table.  The location doesn't matter.  You can do it on a laptop, in a journal or on the back of a napkin.  Hmmm... make that napkins...  you're going to need a bunch!  The main point of course is that you need to DO the exercise, not just think about it.  I'm heading out to the end of the dock, you head on out to what is going to be comfortable for you.

Let me know how this goes for you, what you discover... I'm anticipating a more Purpose-ful and Purpose-filled life.  Not a bad outcome at all!

The Motivation of "More"

I was working with a client a couple of weeks ago, he must have been all of 35, and we were speaking
about what his thoughts were for his career in the future.  Pretty basic question and, although I don't expect everyone to have a clear defined roadmap of exactly what they want, I would typically expect someone his age to respond with some variation of...  more, different, or other as desired goals.  

I was taken aback then by his response...  'I'm done'!  

35 and... this is it?  

Now, don't get me wrong.  I don't think that everyone needs to strive to be CEO, to own their own business or even want a management role.  That's not my point.  More, different or other don't require a move 'up' so much as they imply that you are open to a change at some point.  A change that perhaps tests out and develops a new skill, gives you the opportunity to try something different, expands your perspectives, lets you learn something new, upgrades your skills... SOMETHING!

But... 'I'm done'?????  A possible 30 more years of working and... you're done?

I consider myself a work in progress.  I reserve the right to be better at something tomorrow, than I was today, to know something tomorrow I did not today and to therefore make better decisions and choices for myself as a result.  I think back to what and who I was at 35 and have a hard time reconciling that with the person I am today, the growth I have experienced, the learning, the development, the career shifts...

Although we all have different levels of comfort with the concept of change, we need to leave ourselves open to even incremental changes occurring, to prevent stagnation.  We can't just simply 'stop' where we are because nothing else around us enters into the same holding pattern.  Life doesn't exist in a vacuum.  It moves, grows, shifts over time, as do the people in our lives.  We too need to move, grow and shift in order to, at the very least, accommodate the shifts and eddies of those around us, lest we be left behind.  

Leave yourself some wiggle room by keeping your options open.  Envisioning a future that is 'more' or 'different' from your current situation does not have any value associated with it as to how 'much' more different it is.  The size of the shift is up to you and whatever your comfort zone will accommodate, but not leaving that opening implies no change at all.  Nada.  This is the very essence of stagnation.  

Live your life with the one true aim of being 'more' each day.  Being more in some small way, each and every day, creates incremental but definitive growth.  This small step of possibility leaves the door open to other possibilities that you wouldn't be otherwise.  No one knows for certain what the future holds, but if you don't leave yourself open to potential and possibility, I can guarantee what your future won't hold.   

Leave a small crack in the door for opportunities and change.  Just the very acknowledgement of wanting 'more' of some kind can be a catalyst for change that you wouldn't have imagined otherwise.  

And... for those of you who dare to be bolder, join me in my preferred vision.  

When my time comes, sometime past the age of 100,  I expect to be dragged off to heaven by angels while wailing the whole way... 

But...  I'm not done yet!