Tip Thursday - Body Language

When people wear a white coat (such as doctors) more people are convinced by and believe them
than someone with the same title and experience speaking to them without one. The coat is just a prop but its underlying messaging has a significant impact upon the perceived credibility of the message. A simple tool to use to help your message be received favourably.

Obviously the white coat is a tool that is available only to those in the medical profession but... consider what an 'authority' in your industry and situation would wear... and wear that! It may be a subtle cue but anything you can do and use to help your message be heard and received favourably is one worth using to your advantage.

Tip Thursday - Performance Improvement

Priming is the psychological term used to describe our increased sensitivity to a stimulus that happens NOW, due to an experience or stimulus that happened in the recent past. For example, students asked to unscramble words related to the elderly (such as... Florida, retire, wrinkle) tended to walk significantly slower when leaving the testing room than did control subjects.

This is all a non-conscious activity. We are all unconsciously primed by events and experiences around us all the time. Knowing this we can then work to deliberately prime our unconscious minds to increase our performance.

Surround yourself with pictures and memorabilia of high performers that you admire and respect to influence what you do. Really be clear though about who and what truly inspires you, not just what you 'want' to inspire you. It must be personalized specifically to you for it to work its subtle unconscious effects.

Tip Thursday - Influence

When someone faces a choice between two options, they typically get caught up in listing the relative pros and cons of each. This can mean a delay in the decision-making process if not even stall it. If you want to influence the decision then introduce a third option, one that is less attractive than your desired choice but that shares some similarity to it.

The presence of the 3rd, less desirable, option will lead the individual to view the similar item as more favorable and create the assumption that it is the overall most favourable option, thereby directing their choice. Although there were still only two viable options, the presence of the third actually speeds up the decision-making process and will typically direct the person to choose the one item (from the original two) that was most similar but superior to the added third option.

Sneaky... but it works!

The Effects of Emotional State on Influence Success

Research studies have shown a clear connection between the emotional state of the individual and the success of an influence strategy. In these studies, people were either exposed to messages that were designed to induce fear-based emotions or romantic-based emotions.  These emotions were created through short stories and film clips.

Each group was then exposed to advertisements using either social-proof* or scarcity** type messages as their influence strategies. The results? Those people exposed previously to fear-based emotions were more persuaded by the social proof appeals, while those people exposed to romantic-based emotions were more persuaded by influence messages utilizing scarcity and uniqueness.

Interestingly, studies have also shown that not only our buying behaviour but our selling behaviour can be affected by our emotional state.  Jennifer Lerner and her associates set out to determine just this. What they did find was that those individuals in which they induced a feeling of sadness (again, through film clips and essays) were likely to pay more for an item if buying, or to sell it for less.

In fact, compared to the emotionally neutral buyers, sad buyers were willing to pay as much as 30% more for an item, while sad sellers were willing to price items at up to 33% less than emotionally neutral sellers. 

Other studies have been conducted that demonstrate that ANY emotionally charged issue or situation, regardless of whether it is positively or negatively charged, will have a direct ipact and influence on the type and quality of decisions made.

The implications?

• Consider carefully the placement of advertisements, within magazines etc.  The effectiveness of your ad will be heavily influenced by the article(s) preceding it.  The content of your advertisement would need to shift depending upon whether the articles preceding it were happy or sad, positive or negative in nature.  The emotions that those articles evoke in your audience will have a significant impact on the way in which your advertisement is viewed and, ultimately, how much of your product gets sold.
• This same consideration should be given to the likely emotional state of your audience, before crafting and framing your communications or requests.  If employees are fearful of the economic situation and stability of the marketplace, then they are more likely to be influenced by messages utilizing the social proof heuristic and will be less responsive to messages that utilize other influence attempts. 
• You should also give some consideration to how you are feeling - emotionally - before entering into any negotiation process or buying situation.  You are most likely to make the best buying decisions when in a fairly emotionally neutral state. 
• Recognise that these same elements may influence any decision that we need to make. Our emotional state will serve to make us more or less cautious in our decisions or even influence the length of time it takes us to decide. 

If you have ever found yourself buying something that you didn't want or need, or paying a much higher price for something than you should have - you know you have been influenced through an emotional state.  Just as we have been told repeatedly not to go grocery shopping when hungry, so too must we now consider not going shopping when we're too emotionally charged.  Unless, of course, we won't mind the impact on our pocket-book!!



*social proof - evidence that others are 'doing' it, celebrity endorsements fall into this category.  In general, we look to others behaviour to guide our own.

**Scarcity - the 'only 50 left' strategy.  If something is in limited supply or going quickly we may be more inclined to purchase it for ourselves.

Tip Thursday - Influence

When you are looking for someone you know to comply with a request, attach a personalized sticky note onto it.  Research shows that compliance to the request will almost double over a request made without a sticky note attached.  Apparently the use of the sticky note makes the page look cluttered, which the brain doesn't like, calling attention to it. The personalization of the note forms a stronger connection to the person behind the request, making it more difficult to ignore. Got something you need to ask a co-worker for?  Put a sticky on it!

Tip Thursday - Influence

The Foot-in-the-Door influence technique has been proven to be highly effective in getting people to agree to a large(ish) request you have of them.  Instead of asking them straight out, risking a 'no', you start by asking them for a small favour first.  Having already done you a favour they will be more likely to say yes to helping you with the larger item.  New research has found that the Two-Feet-in-the-Door technique actually works better in gaining acceptance for a large request.  Make your request in three phases (a small, then medium, then the large request) rather than jumping to the large request straight from the small. Although you may have to stretch the influence attempt out over a longer period (week or two) you increase the likely payoff.  Now... could you bring me a chai?

Tip Thursday - The Influence of Heels

Research shows that although women are not unduly influenced by the height of a woman's shoes, men are.  In fact, men were found to help and comply to requests from women significantly more often if they were wearing heels than flats. (roughly 85% to 40% of the time) Think your clothing choices don't have an impact?  Think again.  It seems that Coco Chanel had it right when she said... "If a woman is poorly dressed you notice the dress.  If a woman is impeccably dressed you notice the woman".

Influence Technique - the Benjamin Franklin Effect

Benjamin Franklin is known for many things..

• Printer (built numerous printing businesses and was even responsible for printing all paper money for Pennsylvania & Delaware)
• Newspaper Owner
• Inventor (invented first original American musical instrument - the glass harmonica (Armonica), which even Bach & Beethoven wrote music for)
• Musician (played violin, harp, guitar &, of course, the Armonica)
• Inventor (Franklin stove, bifocal glasses, Lightening rod, Rocking chair, Odometer...)
• Politician (one of the famous signatures on the Declaration of Independence)
• Educator (formed an Academy for higher learning which, in 1791, was officially renamed... The University of Pennsylvania)
• Developer (established the first circulation library for the colonies, first volunteer fire company, first insurance company, first  hospital...)

Truly a gifted and insightful man, despite having been born the son of a soap and candlestick maker, with little or no education.  Like many with drive and intelligence, he did not allow his lowly station to preclude him from learning all he could.  He was passionate about self-improvement and went out of his way to network with anyone that had something he could learn.  As a result, he became very adroit at human relations, at influencing and persuading others.

Perhaps one of the best-known persuasive techniques employed by Franklin, which is now credited to him and known as the Franklin Effect, plays against our intuitive belief that we do nice things for those we like and do not go out of our way to do anything nice for those we dislike.  

What Franklin's study of human nature determined though is that our brain cannot uphold contradictory information.  If we believe that we would only do nice things for those we like, then the logical implication is that if we do nice things for people...  we must like them!

In his biography Franklin described a particular situation and gentleman that was not a fan of his.  In fact, this particular gentleman delivered a long speech to the legislature denigrating Franklin, in an effort to prevent his reelection into his role as Clerk of the General Assembly.  Although Franklin won the role, he recognised that this colleague could gain more influence in the legislature that may impact Franklin's future opportunities.  Franklin therefore realized he would need to turn this individual into a fan.  

When faced with a similar dilemma, most of us would follow the more common route of going out of our way to say and do 'nice' things for and about the other party.  However, Franklin was not willing to be seen as servile in any way, nor did he want his influence attempts to be obvious.  Instead, he employed a much more subtle technique.

Franklin was well known as an avid book collector, reader and library founder, all of which gave him a reputation as a man of exemplary tastes.  His adversary also happened to have a private collection of books.  Franklin therefore sent him a letter asking if he could borrow a particular book from his private library.  This book though, was very rare and difficult to come by.  The rival, flattered by Franklin's request, sent the book right away. Franklin read it and sent it back a week later, accompanied by a simple thank you.  That's it!

The next time that the legislature met though, Franklin was approached by his adversary who engaged him in conversation for the first time.  In Franklin's own words he explained that this gentleman  "ever after manifested a readiness to serve me on all occasions, so that we became great friends, and our friendship continued to his death." 

Most of us, in trying to build a bridge between ourselves and someone we dislike, would think that the easiest way to do so would be to do a favor for them, to do something nice.  Not so.  They may feel the necessity to reciprocate in kind, but then they are merely paying off a debt.  To shift their thinking about you permanently, you need a different approach.  Instead of doing them a favour, you need to get them to do one for you.  In so doing, their brains begin to modify their beliefs about you.  

We believe that we would only do a favour for someone we like.  Therefore, if we have done a favour for someone... then we must like them.  We can't hold inconsistencies to be true in our brains, therefore our brains sort them to make sense of them.  Getting someone to do you a favour will go a lot further to making them feel more positively disposed toward you than your doing them a favour ever will.  

So... stop spending all of your time doing for others...  get them doing for you!  You'll seem a lot nicer for it!

Oh... and... could I ask you to do me a favour?

Tired of Making Decisions?

Regardless of whether you answered 'yes' or 'no' to this question, the latest research out indicates that we all get tired when faced with having to make too many decisions.  The biggest insight though was the discovery that when we suffer from mental fatigue the quality of the decisions we now are asked to make deteriorates significantly.

It seems that no matter how good we believe we are at making decisions, we can't continue to make decision after decision without paying a price biologically.  We know this about physical and muscle fatigue, but our brains apparently get tired too.  The problem is that we typically aren't consciously aware of when we're low on mental energy and therefore we tend to continue to push through, without ever knowing that our self-control (which is the element that tends to over-see bad decision making!) is being depleted.

Decision Fatigue is the term applied to the phenomenon called Ego Depletion - so labelled by social psychologist Roy F. Baumeister.  His experiments showed that there is a finite store of mental energy for self-control.  When it is depleted, our ability to resist temptations is also significantly reduced.  This new insight helps explain the dieter's dilemma...  why losing weight can prove to be so hard.  If you are constantly having to deny yourself food that you're craving you are, in essence, having to consistently make a choice between 'cheating' or not.  Each decision continues to deplete your willpower resources until you finally cave-in late in the day.  This is why candy bars at the check-out counter sell so well.  Up until now it was put down to simple impulse purchases.  However, if you have been shopping for a while, making decision after decision about what to buy, the make, model, price...  you are more fatigued by the time you go to pay.  That fatigue results in a loss of willpower and, before you know it, those M&M's are tossed in your cart.

These findings though have bigger, more far reaching implications...

• Research shows that if you are a prisoner going to a parole hearing, you are 70% more likely to be granted parole if you are on the docket early in the morning than if you are scheduled late in the day.  Although studies haven't yet been conducted, I can only assume that sentencing decisions late in the day would also be affected.  I'm not sure though if it would result in greater or lesser sentencing... which is easier to decide?


• If you have had to make a lot of decisions (even small relatively inconsequential ones), you will give up more than 50% faster on the next decisions you have to make


• Once decision fatigue has set in, you are significantly more likely to settle for whatever the 'recommended' options are from sales personnel.  Buying a car?  Researchers had customers wade through a number of additional special features that they could select to add onto their proposed new vehicle.  Although they weighed their choices carefully in the beginning, as decision fatigue began to set in customers started settling for whatever the default option was.  Savvy salespeople of course kept the more expensive options and decisions for the end.  The result?  Car buyers ended up purchasing more than $2,000 in extras.  Decision fatigue can therefore leave you very vulnerable to marketers who know and understand the phenomena and time their sales accordingly.


• The poor are more susceptible than the rich.  Interestingly, the less money that you have to spend, the more decisions you have to make - constantly weighing your choices over the course of the day.  This leaves you more mentally fatigued and therefore more susceptible to to the effects, making poorer choices for yourself and more easily influenced by others


• When we exercise too much we feel it and know to relax.  We allow our body some time to shut down and recover.  Our brain though never stops working.  It can't, it's in charge of too many processes that are perpetually ongoing.  Decision Fatigue then doesn't result in a shut down of the brain, but it does result in the brain stopping its activity on certain things and starting doing others instead.  It redirects its focus.  The big shift tends to be a refocusing from long-term prospects to focusing instead on more immediate rewards.  Yes, you know your long-term goal is to lose those 10 pounds, but your brain has now determined that you deserve that candy bar... now!

In fact, in order to recover from mental fatigue your brain requires glucose.  That's why whenever we get exceedingly mentally fatigued we find ourselves reaching for the sweet snacks rather than salty ones.  (again... a tough one for dieters who are likely trying to avoid the sweet snacks)

What to do with this?

Know and understand that there are no telltale signs or symptoms of decision fatigue.  All decisions, large or small, add up to deplete your will power.  Choosing what to have for breakfast, what clothes to wear, what to spend, what model to buy, whether to go out to a movie...  all add up.  Don't delude yourself into thinking that you are immune... we are all susceptible.  Even knowing it happens doesn't prevent it from happening.  It is logical to expect therefore, that the decisions you make later in the day are likely to suffer as a result.  If you have big decisions to make later in the day then ensure that you top up your glucose levels at least a half hour beforehand.

Additionally, studies show that the people with the best self-control are those that have structured a lot of the elements in their lives so as to conserve their willpower.  Actions you can take to conserve yours...

• try to avoid scheduling back-to-back meetings, allow a little mental recovery time in between whenever possible


• schedule in moments throughout your day that don't require decisions of any kind, take a mental decision break!


• establish habits that standardize activities, thus requiring fewer decisions.  (if you set up work out times ahead you don't have to decide each day whether to do it or not)


• make your biggest decisions in the morning


• finish each day making whatever decisions you can for the day ahead (plan out your breakfast, your clothing, your route, your evening activities.  If you've got anything left in you, before going to bed (when you will replenish your fatigue), spend it on making some upcoming decisions.  Think of this like 'banking' some decision time.  You don't know how challenging your next day might be, it never hurts to bank a little insurance!


• when your day has been packed with decisions and choices, know that your brain must be fatigued and avoid making big decisions.  Know when not to trust your judgment. 

Reach Out and Touch Someone

Most of us would agree that a gentle touch on the forearm, by someone that we know and care about, can bring us comfort, warmth, a sense of well-being, understanding, caring...  It can communicate many positive and heartfelt emotions, depending upon the situation and other outward signals of the sender.  Did you know though...  that the same touch, given by a stranger, can be surprisingly persuasive?

Consider the following research findings...

• Diners are more inclined to give their wait staff larger tips if they have been touched casually by them
• Strangers are more likely to perform small mundane tasks for others if they were touched on the forearm when the request was made
• Women are more likely to dance with you if you touch them lightly and briefly on the arm when asking
• If you touch a library user lightly on the arm when they register for your services they are more likely to rate your service favourably than those not touched when registering

Behavioural studies have certainly demonstrated, over and over, that we are much more favourably responsive to the other party (either them directly, or their requests) when we are touched casually (on the forearm) in conversation with them.  New research out, (A. Shirmer and colleagues) has shown that the source of the touch doesn't matter at all, it is the sense of being touched that enhances the brain's response.  Their study indicated that emotional information, when presented concurrently with touch, may be more motivating to the individual's brain, which then devotes more processing resources to that information.

Implications?  Certainly it's clear from an influence standpoint.  If you have developed enough rapport with the other party to enter their personal space, touching them briefly on the forearm when making a request of them will enhance the likelihood of gaining their agreement or support.  You could even forego making a request, simply use touch as a means of building and cementing the positive rapport you have been establishing, creating a stronger sense of relationship and good will.

Bear in mind...  I am talking about a brief touch, on the forearm.  Touching longer, anywhere other than the forearm is going to give you a reaction other than the favourable one we're after here!  I think that in our touch-phobic business world, we have swung so far onto the side of complete touch-avoidance that we have likely increased the impact and effect that appropriate touch would have.  I have definitely noticed a greater emphasis on the handshake in recent years, perhaps because it is our only remaining 'appropriate' form of physical contact within the realm of the business environment. 

Perhaps there is a small psychological advantage for those who do implement a small touch here and there.  Such an innocuous gesture may provide an even more significant positive effect when used with an audience that is now missing any form of physical connection with their audience.  A subtle way to stand out and enhance your likability and promotability?  It would seem so.

My final piece of advice for you regarding touch and the workplace.  Are you confused by the definition of forearm?  Not sure what the definition of a light gentle touch is?  Still trying to distinguish in your mind the difference between a touch and a grasp?  Then... don't.  Just... don't!

The Likeability Trap

In general, we all like to be liked.  As a result, we will engage in behaviours, often unconsciously, designed to get our audience to be positively disposed toward us.  Research has shown us that feeling and believing that others like and respect us can be a great source of personal pride.  It can go a long way to helping shape our internal beliefs about ourselves.

Knowing that we're a 'good' person, and believing that others know and see this as well, can be a source of comfort to us when we find ourselves in a conflict with someone else.  It can help us feel good about ourselves, despite someone else's attempt to make us feel bad.

Likeability then, the extent to which we believe we are liked by others, can have a very definite and positive impact upon us.  It can increase our confidence and belief in ourselves and enhance our self esteem.  Research has shown that likeability also has other, perhaps lesser known, benefits.

• a customer's fondness (or liking) of their salesperson will weigh up to twice as much in their purchasing decisions as their regard for the products.  This is the foundation for the emphasis on Relationship-based selling processes.
• creating that likeability bond establishes a presumption of goodwill and friendship through future contacts.  Others will be more favourably disposed to you and will interpret your future behaviours in a more positive and favourable light.
• people that are 'liked' tend to be hired and promoted faster. 

It's all good then, right?  To be successful, our strategy should be to do all that we can to be 'liked' by as many people as possible...right?  Perhaps not.  As with all things in life, it seems that there can even be 'too much of a good thing' when it comes to likeability.  Balance, even here, is the key.

There is a downside to being too likeable, too friendly, too nice.  It seems those individuals that skew too heavily to the right on the the likeability continuum, will undermine their credibility.  They are no longer seen as strong, confident and capable, but instead seem weak, indecisive and a follower.  So much of their behaviour is oriented toward fulfilling the needs and wants of others that 'they' get lost in the process.

This overwhelming need to be liked by others will undermine your sense of self, rather than build it up.  It's not often labelled the 'Disease to Please' for nothing!  People who find that they orient their entire day (if not life) toward the fulfillment of everyone else's needs will likely find their own being sacrificed.  This can lead to feelings of disappointment, dissatisfaction and disillusionment.

Unfortunately, they will then typically fall back to the one behaviour that has made them feel good about themselves in the past and do more of it.  Pleasing others!  They work harder to please others and obtain their praise.  The Likeability Trap has now decisively clicked shut around them, catching them up in an endlessly looping cycle of behaviour.

To break out of this spiral of behaviour it is necessary to take a good look at just who you are trying to please and why.  Create a list of people in your life that influence how you think, feel and act.  (For those of you that have a copy of my book - It's Time Now - use The Board of Director's exercise)

Now assess their relative worth and value to you.  Is their influence predominantly positive or negative?  Are they helping move you forward in your life or holding you back?  Our time and energy are limited.  We therefore want to ensure that we narrow down the list of people we are working to please to include only those individuals that you receive a positive benefit from.  There must be an advantage to you for your investment in them!

Positive relationships are not one-sided.  They're reciprocal.  Establish the balance in your life by ensuring that you invest in the relationships that net you a positive return.  The others?  Well... take a lesson from Donald Trump on this one...  Fire 'em!

The Effects of Emotional State on Influence Success

Research studies have shown a clear connection between the emotional state of the individual and the success of an influence strategy.  In these studies, people were either exposed to messages that were designed to induce fear-based emotions or romantic-based emotions.  These emotions were created through short stories and film clips.

Each group was then exposed to advertisements using either social-proof* or scarcity** type messages as their influence strategies.  The results?  Those people exposed previously to fear-based emotions were more persuaded by the social proof appeals, while those people exposed to romantic-based emotions were more persuaded by influence messages utilizing scarcity and uniqueness.

Interestingly, studies have also shown that not only our buying behaviour, but our selling behaviour can be affected by our emotional state.  Jennifer Lerner and her associates set out to determine just this.  What they did find was that those individuals in which they induced a feeling of sadness (again, through film clips and essays) were likely to pay more for an item if buying, or to sell it for less.  In fact, compared to the emotionally neutral buyers, sad buyers were willing to pay as much as 30% more for an item, while sad sellers were willing to price items at up to 33% less than emotionally neutral sellers. 

Other studies have been conducted that demonstrate that ANY emotionally charged issue or situation, regardless of whether it is positively or negatively charged, will have a direct impact and influence on the type and quality of decisions made. 

The implications?

• consider carefully the placement of advertisements, within magazines etc.  The effectiveness of your ad will be heavily influenced by the article(s) preceding it.  The content of your advertisement would need to shift depending upon whether the articles precding it were happy or sad, positive or negative in nature.  The emotions that those articles evoke in your audience will have a significant impact on the way in which your advertisement is viewed and, ultimately, how much of your product gets sold.
• this same consideration should be given to the likely emotional state of your audience, before crafting and framing your communications or requests.  If employees are fearful of the economic situation and stability of the marketplace, then they are more likely to be influenced by messages utilizing the social proof heuristic and will be less responsive to messages that utilize other influence attempts. 
• you should also give some consideration to how you are feeling - emotionally - before entering into any negotiation process or buying situation.  You are most likely to make the best buying decisions when in a fairly emotionally neutral state.  

If you have ever found yourself buying something that you didn't want or need, or paying a much higher price for something than you should have - you know you have been influenced through an emotional state.  Just as we have been told repeatedly not to go grocery shopping when hungry, so too must we now consider not going shopping when we're too emotionally charged.  Unless, of course, we won't mind the impact on our pocket-book!!



*social proof - evidence that others are 'doing' it, celebrity endorsements fall into this category.  In general, we look to others behaviour to guide our own.

**Scarcity - the 'only 50 left' strategy.  If something is in limited supply or going quickly we may be more inclined to purchase it for ourselves.