How to Reach Your Goals Faster

I was running my first ever marathon. I had set the goal and I had trained but I had never hit a point

where running felt easy, or natural or comfortable for me.  In fact, it was always painful.  My hips ached (I didn't know at the time I have degenerative arthritis in my hip) and each step forward became increasingly more difficult. Despite the pain, despite the tears, despite the belief I couldn't possibly take one more step, when that Finish sign came into view I actually picked up my pace and ran (or hobbled) faster to cross over.

This phenomenon is not unusual.  Most marathoners actually sprint across that line with all of their remaining energy.  It seems that there is a special brain event that occurs called 'The X-Spot', which is when the brain releases a flood of endorphins (and other chemicals) that provides them with the energy needed to accelerate.

This X-Spot is indicative of how powerful a force goal attainment can be. The magic moment occurs when the brain realizes that success is not only possible - but probable.  Positive psychological research demonstrates that this reaction of the brain occurs not just when someone sees the finish line of a goal, but the moment they realize the probability they will succeed. This means that it is our perception of our success that drives our brain to release chemicals that will accelerate our success.

To manage this process though, we need to manage our perceptions.  

1. Clarify the goal. We must have a clear and defined goal that we are targeting. Our brains are constantly mapping out action paths we can take and assessing how close we are to achieving our goals. However, the brain can't work effectively for us if it is unsure about what it is that we are trying to accomplish. The clearer we are about the 'what' we want to achieve the less energy we waste on unnecessary course corrections along the way.

2.  Make it Closer. The closer we are to achieving something, the more we believe it's possible for us to achieve it.  That's why reward cards that say buy 12 get one free, with two purchases already 'given' to you are more effective than reward cards saying buy 10 get one free, with no purchases pre-stamped.  Both cards require 10 purchases, but more people attain their free item and faster, with the card where they already had 2 stamps - simply because it appeared that they were already on their way.  The goal seemed closer.  Give yourself a perceived head start by designing goals with progress already achieved highlighted.  Look backward to review how far you've come, which emphasizes the distance traveled rather than how far is yet to go.

3.  Make it Bigger.  This refers to the perceived likelihood of your achieving your goal.  If we think that the possibility is small  we create a visual in our minds of a very small target which implies that the odds of our ever hitting the target are also small, like the center of a bulls-eye. Instead, flip it. Make that Bulls-eye target larger than the rest of the board.  Remind yourself of all of your past achievements, how well you have handled pressure, the difficulties you have overcome. Creating the expectation that this is just one more hurdle to jump in a long list of hurdles successfully overcome increases the psychological belief that you will also hit this target.  It's now bigger.

4. Recalculate the Energy of Achievement.  For every task we face our brain calculates out the perceived amount of energy and effort needed to achieve it.  The more mental effort and energy required to accomplish a goal, the more likely we are to abandon it.  To help maintain your focus then, it is important to avoid 'awfulizing' a task, making it seem like it will take an inordinate amount of time and effort. Stop watching the clock, tackle your more important tasks earlier in the day when your energy is higher, routinize your peripheral activities so they don't drain energy unnecessarily, don't tackle two challenging tasks back to back without building mental recovery time in between.  

Fundamentally, the biggest key to achieving your goals faster is to train yourself to focus more of your brain's resources on success than on failure. Create your energy X-spots by focusing on your target and on how excellent your chances are of hitting it. Focusing your brain on how great your probability of success is will give you the energy and drive you need to succeed.  

The Key to Accomplishing Anything

No matter what it is that you are looking to accomplish, whether it's to..

• exercise more 
• eat less
• read more
• watch tv less
• pay bills on time
• get to work on time
• meet deadlines
• learn a second language, play piano or golf

you won't get there without Discipline.  Nothing is ever achieved without it.  Discipline is the one unifying element that is necessary for any sustainable long term success.  As the common element it therefore makes sense for us to learn to cultivate and develop ours.  According to Brain Tracy, discipline is...

The ability to do what you know you should do, whether you feel like it or not.

 It's our discipline that pushes us to get out of bed when we'd rather hunker down under the covers.  It's our discipline that keeps us on track, working toward our goals, even when we'd rather take a detour... through the cookie cupboard in the kitchen.  It's our discipline that helps us to adopt a long-term perspective and to set aside any short-term gratification that may derail that longer term objective.

It is little wonder then that most high achievers have a tendency to think in a longer-term perspective. They are significantly more skilled in side-stepping any immediate gratification if it prevents them from obtaining their longer term goals.  The good news is that your level of self-discipline is not pre-set.  Like a muscle, it can grow stronger with practice.  And, like a muscle, it can grow weaker with dis-use.

Although many of us would prefer to believe that the most successful athletes and singers and musicians are at the top of their game because of luck or good genetics, the fact is that whatever innate talent they have would be nothing without the discipline it required to cultivate and develop it. Those who are the 'best' at what they do have put in time, every day, to become the best.  They have said 'no' to other activities that would have prevented them from doing what they knew they had to, if they wanted to be the best. It is not always the most talented person who succeeds, but the most disciplined. It is those that that have the discipline to invest the time and energy needed to grow their talent, develop their skills, to work upon their goals.

For those of you willing to do what you must, to obtain what you want, here are a few tips to help you develop the discipline needed to get you there.

• Know your Why.  In order to push through the discomfort you will experience in pushing toward your goal it is critical that you know What you want, Why you want it and What you are willing to do to get it.  If your why isn't strong enough you'll never get out of bed.
• Remove any temptations or distractions. There is no need to make things harder than they need to be.  If your goal is to lose weight then ditch all of the cookies and chocolates hidden in the house!
• Don't wait for the 'right' time to start.  There is no right time, there is only now. The longer it takes you to start, the more excuses you will create and barriers you will build.  Stop talking about it and start taking action.
• Visualize the long term results.  Keep a clear picture of what the long term results are that you are working for and keep it front and center.  If you want to strengthen your ability to say no to any of the moments of instant gratification that may cause you to stumble, keeping a strong mental picture of what you want to achieve will help remind you of why 'no' is the right answer.  (and to feel proud each time you use it!)
• Create routines.  The sooner that you build habits that support the actions you want to take the easier it will be to do what you need.  Setting up routines that have you engaging in the same behaviour patterns each day will help you create goal-sustaining habits.
• Avoid exceptions. Don't allow any exceptions to the behaviours you 'should' be engaging in until they have become habit. If you do slip, start over immediately. You want your brain to recognise the slip as the exception it is, not to accept it as a desire to revert. Your old behaviours and habit patterns will make attempts to reassert themselves. Not allowing exceptions in the beginning will help prevent this from happening. 
• Define the behaviours.  Once you have chosen the discipline that you want to develop, spend time defining how you would behave if that discipline were already a habit.  What behaviours would you be engaging in?  These then become your target behaviours, the behaviours of your success.
• Regular review.  Review your progress regularly and celebrate your successes.  Keep your momentum by recognising and rewarding the gains you have made.  Just ensure that your rewards are supportive of your goal.  It should go without saying that you don't reward yourself for refusing to eat ice-cream for dessert by having a bowl of ice-cream!
• Learn from your bad days.  And you will have them.  Rather than using the bad day as an excuse to toss in the towel, use it as an opportunity to understand what is likely to undermine your self-discipline and work to plug that leak!  Bad days provide insight into areas of weakness that you can then focus on and strengthen.  Welcome the insight and stay on track.

I often have people comment about how disciplined I am about my work, about getting my blog and books written, about my ability to actually get work done while working from a home office.  They typically also comment that they could never do the same, that they aren't disciplined enough. However, the truth is that I actually am not disciplined, so I have to be disciplined.  

I have created rules and routines to help me get the work I want done... done!  The good news is that it gets easier over time.  Where I once had to force myself to sit and write I now write to the routines I have put in place.  What's even better is that the more you persist the more disciplined you will be. As you focus on being disciplined you become more disciplined.  Although being disciplined in one area of your life does not necessarily mean you will be disciplined in all, it does mean that you now have a model of success that you can draw on to develop a more disciplined approach in other areas. 

We've got to Nourish to Flourish

What are the words that you whisper in your own ear? The words that you tell yourself when you
mess up, when you're about to step out on stage, when you're going to attempt something for the first time, when you accomplish something, when you are competing with someone for a promotion?

Do you offer yourself words of encouragement, support and love?  Or... do you instead offer words of discouragement, criticism and hopelessness?

We've got to Nourish... to Flourish!

In order to grow straight and strong, we have to learn to speak to ourselves with words of encouragement.  We have to balance out, if not drown out, the voice of our inner critic.  They have had free reign in our minds for far too long, with little provided to counter all of their You-can'ts, You-arent's, You-don'ts.

I'm not here to tell you that you can do anything.  This is far too broad a statement for it to possibly be true.  However, you can do anything better than you can do it right now.  I can guarantee that if you try it, if you practice it... you can do it better.  You might not get to be 'the' best... but you can get to be 'your' best.  A far healthier and more achievable goal, and a change in perspective that is needed to get you up and out there trying!

When we start by thinking that we'll never be 'the' best at something we give up before we've begun. However, few of us need to strive to be 'the' best.  Unless you're competing to be the World's Champion in something, you needn't even be bothered by the thought of it.  Instead, we are simply looking to be 'our' best.  We don't even know what that would look like if we never begin.

Creating a strong sense of self-worth comes through repeatedly trying something.  It is through repetition that we develop the skills, experience and capability in something.  However, to keep on trying we need to become comfortable with the thought and fact of failure.  It's part of the trial process and an integral part of the learning experience.  We can't begin to learn what 'better' looks or feels like without it. When you fail at an attempt it doesn't define you, it simply defines that attempt. Explore what didn't work and determine what to try differently in your next attempt.  It's the getting back in the game after defeat that builds your resiliency, resourcefulness and, most importantly, your self esteem.

Perhaps two of the strongest words that you can tell yourself are "I Can".  These two little words can be used to create and strengthen your sense of self-worth like no others.

• I can handle this
• I can figure this out
• I can make this work
• I can manage
• I can get through it

Like the little train chugging up the hill, thinking you can is often all that's needed to take on new challenges, develop new skills, to nourish your self belief.

What would you accomplish if you believed you could?

We can proactively build our self-esteem, creating positive momentum, by doing.  Getting things done is proof that you 'can', providing the motivation needed to activate your 'more' muscle.

The following are my Top 5 Tips for how to Nourish your self-esteem, to nourish your inner Cheerleader, so you too can Flourish and grow...

1. Start Small.  Take on something that you can start immediately and that is relatively easy. You want to get some fast and easy wins that create the momentum of success. Offer yourself some definitive proof that you are capable and competent. Give your Cheerleader some early and easy wins to cheer about, giving them examples to help stifle your inner Critic.  
2. Have a vision.  You want to have some clarity about where you're going.  Once that ball is in motion we want it to be difficult to stop. We want your positive momentum to keep that ball constantly in motion... we just want it to be rolling in a direction of your choosing!
3. Do something you're good at.  Build your wins.  Doing something you're good at builds examples of success that will give you the confidence you need to tackle less-skilled tasks. Proving you have talent and worth in one area helps you to handle the inevitable failures you will experience while learning something new.  Failure is part of the natural process of growing and serves a very useful purpose.  However, having examples of things we ARE good at, ARE capable of, ARE successful at helps us to hang in through the challenging stages of learning something new.
4. So something that scares you.  In order to truly flourish you are going to have to try something new.  You may have talents and abilities you will never know you have if you never challenge yourself to attempt new things.  To truly come to know all that you are and all that you can be you need to step outside your comfort zone and try something that makes you a little nervous, that you're a little unsure of.  Just think of the doors that open for you each time you push that fear to the side though.  Your cheerleader is now leading you forward saying... Wow!  If you did that, maybe you can also do this!  Oh... the opportunities that await!
5. Give yourself Recognition.  Look at everything you just did!  Look at what you tried!  You need to recognise your accomplishments, reward your bravery in stepping forward. It is important that your attempts and successes get noticed and celebrated, even when it's just a party of one.  Even if things didn't go exactly as planned, it was a step taken in the journey of getting there.  It deserves recognition. At the end of each day, highlight a minimum of 3 things that you did, you accomplished, or you tried... they are deserving of recognition.  Begin learning to see your wins and to celebrate them.  Build the positivity and momentum that keeps your ball rolling forward.

What would you accomplish if you believed you could?

Go and make it happen!

Just Do the Work

We seem to live in a world of quick fixes.  Everyone is looking for short cuts to get where they want to go, wanting an easy route to success.  The concept of working for what you want is put down as an antiquated and outdated way of thinking, one that is far too slow in achieving one's desires.  Instead, success is an immediate need, one best delivered 'overnight'.

The 'Overnight Success' is a celebrated concept that people never seem to tire of listening to or speaking about, however it is nothing more than a seductive lie leading people to 'see' the success without 'hearing' the story of how it was achieved.  The truth that few are willing to accept is that there is no such thing as an 'Overnight Success'.

"A true overnight success is someone who has carried bucket after bucket of water to fill up a well.  People celebrate you the moment it all spills over, without realizing the 10,000 buckets you carried to make it happen.`    Paul Angone

 It`s not simply that people don`t realize the work it took to become successful, it`s that people don`t want to hear it.  They want to believe in the hope that they could do nothing today to prepare for it and yet, could wake up tomorrow... successful  They avoid hearing and seeing the truth.

• The author whose `first` book becomes a number 1 bestseller. The truth? They wrote every day since they were 14 and wrote and rewrote every page in that bestseller 20 times over, living and breathing that book for the past two years.
• The inventor who launches a product that makes millions.  The truth? They have a garage and basement filled with past 'ideas' that cost them time, money and even family, that never saw the light of day but screamed 'failure' to anyone who saw them.
• The entrepreneur whose new business just sold to Google or Facebook.  The truth? They have had two previous businesses go bankrupt and almost lost their home in the pursuit of this latest business, facing more rejection and naysayers than those who offered support.
• The actor whose first role makes them a household name and box office draw. The truth? They waited tables to pay for acting classes, pumped gas to afford food and slept in their car to be able to go on casting calls only be told they were not 'special', were too fat, too thin, too young, too old, not pretty enough, not black enough, not white enough.

And yet... you think success comes over night?

Success comes through all of the nights leading up to that last moment, all of the days and nights of hard preparatory work that were needed to create the moment that tips you into success.

You must create your tipping point by doing the groundwork.  No one talks about this aspect of success simply because no one wants to hear it.  No one wants to hear about the work and effort that went into creating your success because then it means that they too would need to put in that same hard work to enjoy all of the trappings of success.

But... they don't want the struggle.. they want the result.  They want the 'stuff'.

It's the Lottery Mentality at play, the hope that they can go to sleep and wake up rich and successful. We all know the odds of 'winning' at this game though.  The jackpot is $50 million?  Sure, buy a ticket.  However, this isn't meant to be your life strategy.

We may envy the winners their luck, but we admire those who have created their success. To be like them though, we need to be prepared to put in the work required to get there.  We must invest in our future by putting in the effort needed to net us the desired rewards.

Hard work might not guarantee you success, but a lack of hard work surely guarantees you a lack of success. It might not be sexy, but the truth often isn't.

How to Get More Stuff Done

We all have our own systems in place for helping keep us on track, our personal methods for structuring and organizing our days.  This is as it should be.  Different people, different personalities and even different roles require varying degrees and types of structure.  The issue is not 'how' you organize your day but that you do.

Regardless of 'what' we do for a living we are all required to get stuff done over the course of the day. If we also add in all of the chores waiting for us on our personal to-do lists the 'stuff' waiting for our time and attention becomes overwhelmingly huge.  It is likely safe to say that with everything that is pressing upon us for our time and attention we could all benefit from becoming just a little bit better in managing our day.  No one, but the heart surgeon, is likely telling you to slow down and to do less!

The question most of us struggle with though is How?  How do I get more done when I already feel as though I am stretched to the limit?  How do I possibly get more done when I have 'inherited' work from downsized colleagues and am now carrying the workload of one and half (if not more) people?  How do I manage to get 'more' done and feel that I am not just surviving, but thriving?

The challenge in dealing with the issue of Personal Productivity is that there is not a one-size-fits-all solution.  There is no one method that you can pick up and apply that will work equally well for you and your 12 closest colleagues.  Pieces of it will work, but they need to be blended with other aspects of other systems to create a collage of elements that work for you.  However, building the perfect system, one that helps you to work optimally, is not a haphazard affair.  It takes great insight into how you truly like to work, what you are good at (and what you`re not), and when and how you are most effective.

The bottom line is that becoming more efficient in your use of time takes... time.  An investment of your time to assess your current systems, determine what`s working and what isn`t and to source out elements to trial and add to the mix.  The following are top tips to try and perhaps adopt. Each will, in different ways, help you to get more done.  Since the implementation of any new idea will take some time and focus to make familiar and comfortable enough to become habit, I suggest highlighting your favourites and pick one to start.  Once it has become integrated into the way you manage your day, pick another.

Plan to your Focus.  We all have a specific rhythm to our focus.  Some of us are more energized and focused in the morning, some in the afternoon and some don't kick into high gear until later in the evening.  Understanding when we are at our best is important to how we schedule our day.  Plan your most difficult tasks for these moments.  We want to work on our more more mindful (not mindless) tasks during our personal peak times.  If you are at your best first thing in the morning then you start your day by working on some of your most challenging tasks, not in checking your inbox.

Understand your Time Wasters.  We all have the same amount of time available to us each day, however some people just seem to be able to get more out of their day than others.  Generally, if you examine their day, you will find less time being spent on meaningless activities; those activities that create a sense of 'busyness' but that do not move critical projects and goals forward.  However, understanding how much time we are losing each day, and week, to merely being busy is difficult unless we do a time study.  Over the course of one business week, record the activities you are engaged in.  This is easily done by creating a checklist of activities and simply checking off what you were doing every 15 minutes.  Taking a look at this, over the course of a week, will give you key insights into how you are spending your time and, more importantly, where you are losing it.

Powering through Procrastination.  Typically, the biggest hurdle to breaking through the procrastination we experience on many tasks is getting started.  We feel stuck, for some reason, and engage instead in avoidance behaviours, rather than taking action.  To break through this barrier try the following.  Gather up the tasks that you are currently procrastinating on and block off a period of time in which you devote 10 minutes to each task.  If you have 3 tasks you are procrastinating on, set aside 35 minutes.  Set  a time for 10 minutes and work, full out, on the first task for 10 minutes.  You are not looking to finish the task, merely to get a satisfying amount of work accomplished.  When the timer goes off... stop!  Take a break for 2 minutes, then work on the second task for 10 minutes, full out, then break again.  Don`t skip the breaks.  You will find that working for 10 minutes on the task is not as intimidating or overwhelming as when confronted with the thought of having to work on it for hours. Often, this quick 10 minutes is enough to break through the barrier to your ability to focus on the project for longer.

Pace Yourself.  We cannot maintain full-out concentration indefinitely.  At the very least we require a break roughly every 90 to 120 minutes, which coincides with our natural Ultradian rhythms.  The more physically and mentally taxing the activity the sooner we require a break, whereas less taxing activities will allow us to go longer before needing one.  Regardless of the timing do need recovery breaks at some point, breaks that help to renew our energy, not deplete it further.  Therefore, simply shifting to a different task is not going to work.  This break period needs to be customized to you and is based on activities that help you to restore and build your energy.  For some it could be a physical break, for others a quick musical interlude.  Building in breaks to your day may sound like you are going to be devoting less time to your tasks and may appear to be in conflict with your goals.  However, the goal is to get more stuff done, not to spend more time doing it.  Taking breaks that renew energy allows you to bring more energy and focus to the tasks you engage in, allowing you to complete them in less time. Strategic breaks therefore increase productivity, moreso than trying to power through task after task with little focus or mind power.

Create a Habit List.  Putting a habit you are trying to build onto your to-do list is not particularly effective because it doesn`t give you feedback on how you are doing at developing that skill.  It`s the consistency of the action that builds the habit.  Consider the habit you are looking to build (walk 10,000 steps a day, no caffeine, quit smoking, break for lunch).  Rather than merely creating a reminder onto our daily to-do list, we need to highlight the habit differently.  For this tip we are `borrowing`an idea from the comedian Jerry Seinfeld who felt that the best way to becoming a better comic was to write better jokes.  To do that it meant having to write jokes - EVERY day.  This is his biggest tip for new comedians and one he utilized throughout his career.  He starts with a large, wall-mounted full year calendar. Every day that he writes he marks off with a big red X. The idea is to keep the chain of X`s going. Your only job then becomes - Don`t break the chain. Do the same for the new habit you are looking to develop.  You need to be able to `see` at a glance how you are doing... not breaking the chain is a great way to get that quick and visible feedback!

Manage your Zeigarnik Effect.  You may not know what it is, or that it had a name, but you definitely fall prey to the effect.  The Zeigarnik Effect is the mental reminder system that is built-into your brains that nags you about all of your unfinished tasks.  It is the little voice that keeps interrupting your focus on one task to remind you about 3 other things not to forget.  Often we then start jotting all of these attention-seeking thoughts onto our to-do lists - despite the fact that we have no intention of actually getting to them that day.  At the end of the day they remain on the list and are interpreted by our brains as `not done`.  We have difficulty feeling good about what we have accomplished that day if we have too many 'undone' activities.  Instead, keep your to-list only for those tasks that you need and intend to do that day.  Maintain a reminder list for all of the other 'stuff' that is occupying head-space. Creating a physical dumping ground for it relaxes the brain and frees it up to devote more focus and attention to the task at hand.

If you have read to the end of this blog (thank you!) then you have invested some of your time in learning something new.  To get the most value for that time you need to take action.  Which of the ideas above would have the greatest positive impact on your life and work - right now?  How might you implement it?  What's the first step?  Taking action on one of these ideas is an investment in time that is likely to not only increase your productivity, but free up some of your time, allowing you the opportunity to re-invest it elsewhere.

Are You Flourishing?

Typically, the goal of Psychology has been to relieve human suffering.  However, the work of Dr. Martin Seligman has been changing the face of psychology by focusing on Prevention; on how people can learn the skill sets that prevent psychological suffering in the first place. Therefore, rather than trying to help you feel better after you feel bad, the goal is to develop the skills needed to feel good most, if not all, of the time.

The Shift:   from Relieving suffering.... to.... Preventing suffering

In his latest book 'Flourish', Seligman - the undisputed father of Positive Psychology - builds upon his earlier work on Authentic Happiness to teach us not only how to be happy, but how to truly Flourish and Thrive.

Positive Psychology is the study of Well-being, the systematic practice of kindness, gratitude, of counting your blessings, exploring your strengths, etc.  It teaches resilience and optimism, two key skills that are supposed to be better predictors of your achievement than is IQ.  According to Seligman, well-being can be learned and is a skill critical for us to go beyond 'okay' with our lives and learn to 'thrive'.

Well-being is comprised of 5 elements, following the Acronym PERMA...

P - Positive Emotions
E - Engagement
R - Relationships
M - Meaning (Purpose)
A - Achievement

We know from research that those who experience a stronger overall sense of well-being on a consistent basis also experience increases in; productivity, satisfaction, physical health, confidence, motivation, achievement, creativity...  Who wouldn't want more of this?  In order to help you to increase your level of well-being, your overall feelings of happiness, consider implementing some of the following suggestions...

Positive Emotions

Let's face it, we've all got problems.  We all face challenges, and we sometimes don't seem to have much going on to smile about.  However, Positive Emotions can serve to help us move up and out of the morass of negativity faster and easier.  If we focus on the past with feelings of pain and regret, or look upon the future with fear and trepidation then we are fostering negative emotions.  Instead, we need to shift our mental focus. When thinking of the past seek out memories that were positive for you, that make you smile even while thinking of them.  Learn to be thankful the negative times of the past are, in fact, past. The more that we strengthen our positivity 'muscles', the easier it is to feel the emotions naturally, more strongly and for longer periods of time.

Engagement

When we are disengaged we are listless, bored and distracted.  Engagement is 'secret sauce' to motivation, enabling us to focus, produce and achieve.  When we are engaged in an activity we enter a state of 'flow', what athletes refer to as being 'in the zone'.  We are absorbed in the activity, time seems to fly by and we experience a sense of accomplishment and achievement in the end.  Typically the more we are engage in work and activities that utilize our unique personal strengths and talents, the more engaged we will be.  Identify yours and seek out ways to utilize them more fully in your work and your life.

Relationships

We are, by nature, social creatures, wanting a sense of connection to others.  Establishing strong relationships with others helps us to develop our sense of well-being.  Knowing that we have others around us that we can depend upon, to help us to maintain balance in our lives.  Positive relationships involve a positive and equal exchange, whether it be of emotion, energy, support or time.  Any relationship though that is one-sided or that creates a negative energy or emotion diminishes our sense of well-being.  Seek out the relationships in your life and work that build you up, not tear you down.  Create a list of people that are in your life, whether personally or professionally, and determine whether their influence on you is predominantly positive or negative in nature and impact. The next step?  Spend more time with those whose influence is positive and less with those that are negative.

Meaning

We all want, and need, to feel part of something larger than just ourselves.  Feeling like we make a 'difference', even in some small way provides us with a sense of purpose to our actions and our lives.  Being part of something beyond ourselves provides us with a sense of community, giving us a feeling of belonging.  It is far easier to be engaged in our work if we believe that it is benefiting someone, somewhere, somehow, that our work counts in some small way toward that bigger picture. Often we get so caught up in just 'doing' that we lose sight of the larger impact of the work we do, the value it has to others around us.  Spend time reflecting on just how your role and actions, personally and professionally, contribute to the bigger picture or greater good.  Making these connections for yourself can go a long way to recognising the value and worth of the contributions you make each day.

Accomplishment

Working toward and achieving goals helps us to feel that we are moving forward with our lives. Establishing a sense of accomplishment builds our confidence in our ability to handle more in the future, which further strengthens our coping mechanisms.  If we fail to recognise just how much we have achieved and overcome in the past then we likely will fail to fully take advantage of all we are capable of achieving in the future.  Most of us get so caught up in the 'doing' of things though that we often fail to even give ourselves credit for everything we have done.  To help with this, it makes sense to maintain an ongoing log of your accomplishments and achievements.  Start out by listing everything you have achieved thus far in your life, but continue adding to it as you remember more and achieve more.  This listing will also serve as a motivator for you whenever you are feeling a little down or are lacking a little confidence.  This file with all of your achievements, awards, kudos and successes should serve to highlight for you not just how amazing you have been, but how many more amazing things you have yet to achieve.


Want to check out Dr. Seligman's book for yourself?  Use the following link to get going...

It's Not Easy Being Green: Dealing with Professional Jealousy

We have likely all found ourselves, at some point in our careers, using others' success as a way and
means of gauging our own.  Comparing ourselves to others can be a positive motivator, inspiring us and opening us up to new realms of possibilities.  In this scenario then, others' success highlights for us what we too may choose to strive for.

However, we may find ourselves, in making these comparisons with our peers and co-workers, experiencing a professional form of jealousy.  We may feel resentment or anger over their achievements and frustration with our apparent lack.  Envy and jealousy can create stress and pressure that may hinder our success.  In this situation our comparisons to others become disruptive and debilitating, leading to negative emotions and behaviours.

Ultimately, any time  that we spend worrying about what others are doing is time away from doing what we could and should be doing which definitely prevents us from achieving all that we might. When you find yourself feeling a little 'green-eyed- with jealousy, use any of the following tips to help you gain control and keep you on track to adding to your own list of successes.

Take a Big Picture Approach

When we only see the final (often bragged about) accomplishment, we fail to understand the 'how' it came about; the struggles, the sacrifices.  We often wouldn't be so envious of something someone had achieved if we knew everything that they had to do to get it.  If we would never be interested or willing to make a similar investment, then it is far easier to let the jealousy over the achievement go.

Refocus Your Energy

Instead of directing your energy into the 'Woulda', 'Shoulda', 'Coulda's', put your focus into what you can and will do to achieve the same great levels as your colleague.  What can you be doing - Now - that puts you in a better position to receive that promotion, that award, that funding, next time around... and start doing it!

Create Your Brag Bag

Build your confidence and self-esteem  by maintaining, and reviewing, your own personal success journal.  Often, when we view the success of others we feel bad about ourselves because we don't have ready access to our list of achievements.  Maintaining a success journal, in which you document all of your successes and achievements, can serve to remind you of everything that you have achieved, helping you to put your co-worker's accomplishment in perspective.  Rather than allowing their achievement to highlight what you're not, your success journal can direct you instead to focus on everything you are and have done.

Stop Looking

If you are looking too much on what other people are doing and accomplishing... stop looking. Unfriend them.  Unfollow them.  While it's good to keep up with the overall happenings in your industry there is a 'Healthy' level of insight and an 'Unhealthy' level.  If the attention you are paying to someone else is not serving you in a positive way, then STOP and fill your time with activities that will be more productive.

And... if you have found that your successes have left you with jealous onlookers, begin distancing yourself from them.  You don't need their toxic energy preventing you from achieving even greater heights.

5 Steps to Building your Self Confidence

Perhaps one of the most common requests that I receive from my coaching clients is for guidance on how to feel more Confident. Perhaps one of the most highly prized, and envied, characteristics of leaders is their confidence, that ease and belief they have in their ability to make things happen.

We know also that highly confident people tend to: get promoted more and faster, be seen as more attractive, make more money, be seen as charismatic, be remembered longer, be viewed as more decisive, smarter, and even taller.  In fact, the list is far longer than this but it all stems from the projection of confidence.

This is all well and good for those that possess confidence, that belief in their ability to perform, but what about those of us that could do with a little more of this quality?  That struggle to find it in ourselves to believe in ourselves?

The good news is that confidence is not something that you are simply born with, it is something that you can develop and grow.  To start it is helpful to have a clear idea of who you are, gaining a clear picture of what your current strengths and abilities and even weaknesses are.  You need to have a clear perspective of what you currently bring to the table, in order to know what to work on and what to promote.

If you need to gain a better perspective on this, complete the following exercise.  Divide a piece of paper into three columns and label them Strengths, Weaknesses, Accomplishments.

1. Strengths.  You want to understand the Strengths you possess because these are the areas that you are most likely going to want to promote to others and perhaps build your expertise around. 
2. Weaknesses.   I deliberately label the second column Weaknesses and not Developmental Needs because you don't want to waste time in developing weaknesses that aren't needed by your current job or that you do not possess an interest in.  You can't be good at everything so don't waste time that could be spent creating excellence in a strength just to create mediocrity out of an unnecessary weakness.  
3. Accomplishments.  The third column requires you to compile a list of your Accomplishments to date.  Large or small you have them.  Don't stop until you have listed at least 20. Any obstacle you have overcome in life is an accomplishment.  Anything you did that you felt a sense of pride in doing or attempting is an accomplishment.  If you struggle with completing any of your columns then consider enlisting the aid of a few close friends.  Ask them to complete the form for you, using their responses to help you gain some perspective on strengths and accomplishments that you are failing to recognise and give yourself credit for.  

Many find that just completing the exercise above helps them to already feel more confident about themselves and what they offer.  It is sometimes far too easy to lose sight of everything that we have accomplished, everything we do possess strength in when we are only focused on what we lack.  We are all a constant mix of strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures.  It is important to always be looking at the full picture and not just a portion.  As good a starting point as this is though, I offer the following 5 tips for helping you to continue to gain and strengthen your confidence.

• Focus on Learning and Improving.  Developing our skills and knowledge about something can increase our confidence and belief in our abilities in that area.  Often our lack of confidence stems from our belief that we don't know enough or that we lack the necessary skill. Use your understanding of your strengths to build your skills and talents.  We can't be great at everything, but we can all be great at something.  Pick your area and focus on strengthen your skills in that area.  

• Don't aim for Perfect.  Making mistakes is normal.  Use them as an opportunity to learn. Not leaving any mental room for the possibility of mistakes can undermine our confidence, feeding into the belief that we can't do it.  Instead, expect mistakes, learn from them and move on.  

"A person, who never made a mistake, never tried anything new"    Albert Einstein

• Start Small.  It is the act of doing and accomplishing things that builds our confidence to do more and other in future.  Even small steps have a positive impact.  Take action, get it done and build positive proof of your ability.  Doing things builds your confidence, worrying about doing them builds your fear.  Take action.

 "Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment"  Thomas Carlyle

•  Do Your Homework.  There is no substitute for preparation.  The more prepared you are for something, the more confident you will be in your ability to achieve it.  Don't focus on how much better prepared you 'wish' you were, focus on being as prepared as time and circumstances allow.  Preparation, of however much, is always better than none.

• Keep a Success Log.  As you likely discovered, trying to recall our accomplishments can be a difficult task.  Far better to maintain an ongoing Success Log, in which you continuously record your victories, both large and small, as they occur.  As we continue to focus forward, on all we want to accomplish, it can become far too easy for us to lose sight of all of the successes that got us to this point, or to minimize their value and import.  Recording them as they occur will help to remind you of everything you overcame to get to where you are, helping you to minimize any doubts you may have about your abilities to overcome barriers in the future.

Our confidence is not static, it rises and falls in the face of different situations and their perceived level of challenge.  Use the above exercises and tips to help you to gain the level of confidence you need to face those challenges head-on, to become all that your meant and deserve to be.  I know that there is greatness in you and have every confidence in your uncovering it for yourself.  

5 Tips for Getting More Feedback

We would all love to get feedback on our performance more regularly than we do. Regular feedback is an important way for us to improve our performance at work. However, it is not unusual for many in the workplace to receive feedback only during their annual performance review. The feedback they receive is not timely enough and likely not specific enough to prove truly helpful in positively impacting performance.

Given that many of us have managers who dread having to complete an annual review, let alone sitting down for performance dialogues more regularly, how might we arrange to get the feedback we need, when we need it, to help us improve our performance faster?

1.  Ask.  This may seem like an obvious point to start with but that doesn't make it any less effective.  And, despite its obvious nature, it doesn't tend to be something that people do consistently, if at all.  Don't sit complacently by, assuming that no news is good news.  Ask people how you are doing.  If you feel this is a little too self-directed then ask people what you might have done differently or better to have met their needs. People will not only open up about your performance, but will offer suggestions you can use to please them better in future. It's your choice as to whether you fulfill those needs or not, but it will tell you a great deal about not only how best to serve others, but about what motivates them also.

2.  Question.  Don't simply take the first response you get.  We often interpret someone's feedback through our own personal filters which may lead us off the track they were highlighting.  Before you invest your time and effort in improving in a direction you believe they wanted, ensure you take the time to clarify what they shared.  Get a clear picture and specific suggestions before you begin to take action.

3.  Listen.  People give you feedback continuously, whether you ask for it or not.  However, we are typically too caught up in our own thoughts, wants and needs to pay attention to it.  Even when others are venting about a project, or the direction it has taken, they might be sharing some feedback for you regarding your role in it.  And, it should go without saying, that if you've asked for feedback then you need to listen to what people share with an open mind.  Don't rationalize the feedback, don't become defensive and don't shut down.  This is information you need to improve; accept it graciously and decide later what value it brings you.

4.  Observe.  Pay attention to the reactions and behaviours of those around you.  You can gain a tremendous amount of feedback just by taking the time to focus on and observe others.  Are people looking away and yawning when you are delivering a speech?  Are you being sought out for your advice and help or are others being sought out instead?  Do people share confidences with you or only talk about the weather? People's actions and behaviours around us tell us a great deal about what they think of us, how we make them feel, what their level of trust is.  Take the time to observe others for trends that are trying to tell you something.

5.  Learn.  Learn from your successes.  Learn from your failures.  Learn from your observations.  Learn from the observations of others.  Your experiences provide you with some of the best feedback that there is, but you need to take the time to assess the messages, learn from them and alter your approaches and behaviours accordingly.

Our performance is our responsibility and is our ticket to more.  Waiting for a once-a-year performance discussion, to ascertain how you are doing, is not going to enable you to improve as quickly as you could if you were receiving feedback in a more timely manner.  Certainly seek more frequent feedback from your manager, but don't limit yourself to their insights.  Broadening the scope of the feedback will provide you not only with more feedback, but will enable you to understand which actions would positively impact more people and therefore more opportunities.  Take charge of your personal improvement plan by taking a more active role in getting the information you need to improve.

7 Tips for your Personal Evolution

Evolution:  the gradual development of something, especially from a simple to a more complex

form.

Evolution is not simply a theory but an active force, one that has been actively present in shaping your life since birth.  As children we embraced this evolutionary force.  It helped us to learn and to grow; to crawl and then walk, to speak, to write and to read, to ride a bike and drive a car, to play ball, to paint, to add and subtract, to swim, to ski and to sing.

When we were younger we evolved rapidly and continuously.  We were almost like sponges, soaking up new experiences, experimenting and trying new things, simply to learn something new.  This rate of evolution slowed down as we aged though, as we began creating boundaries for ourselves, restrictions and limitations on 'who' we thought we were or could be, until our growth and evolution did not become a constant but an exception.  It became ruled by choice, and so many of us, as we age, begin to choose not to grow or evolve further.

I understand that this wasn't always a conscious choice, that no one explained to us that giving in to our negative beliefs and our fears meant that we stopped evolving, that we stunted our growth, but it happened none the less.  Additionally, few of us were ever told that the more we gave in to our fears and held ourselves back from evolving further, the more we would begin devolving, becoming less.

We were all born to be 'more' though.  When young you weren't satisfied with who you were, what you knew and what you could do.  You continued to push, to learn more, to do more, to try more.  When did that slow down or stop for you?  Why?  Are you done?  Have you evolved to be the best 'you' possible?  Is there nothing left for you to discover about yourself, to learn or experience?

We are built with an infinite capacity to evolve.  We can continue to learn new things, to experience new things, to develop new skills, to uncover hidden talents until our last breath.  Why then do so many of us 'settle' along the way?  At what point did you decide that you were 'enough'?  Often it wasn't even a conscious choice. We maybe took a break, sat back and got a little too comfortable, complacency stealing over us like a warm blanket we became reluctant to kick off.

You can choose to take notice though, to remove the blanket of complacency and to begin actively making choices that jump start your evolutionary path.  Use the following suggestions to help you continue your evolutionary journey...

1. Surround yourself with new ideas.   This may mean speaking with people unlike yourself, or reading a book or journal outside your current area of expertise.  You never know what you are likely to think about something until you put yourself into the position of needing to think about it!
2. Recycle your beliefs about... you!  It is often our beliefs about ourselves, who we are, what we can do or what we should do, that create limitations to our growth.  Question old beliefs to uncover new ones.  You are far more capable than you likely give yourself credit for.
3. Try things on, see what fits.  Things we may dismiss out of hand may be a better fit for us than we thought, but we won't know unless we give it a try first.  Nobody expects to 'like' raw fish, but you have to try Sushi to know for sure.  Taste it, try it, take it for a spin. The old adage 'nothing ventured, nothing gained' is your mantra here.
4. Resist Resistance.  Still the little voice inside your head that is telling you No, that is scrambling to pull the Complacency blanket back over your head.  Expect resistance.  Embrace it and lead it forward with you, helping it learn that there's no point in resisting what you're going to do anyway.
5. Focus on Learning, not Teaching.  Teaching is great, but if all of your energy goes to teaching then your focus is solely on 'what you know'.  Learning is all about discovering 'what you don't know'.  Learning leads to your growth, teaching leads to someone else's.  
6. Feed your Curiosity.  One of the greatest sources of learning is our curiosity.  The more that you feed yours, rather than stifle it, the more you create a learning mindset.  Have a question about how something works?  Seek out the answer.  It doesn't matter whether it leads you to something that enhances your job prospects or not.  Train your brain to realize that it is all right, once again, to ask questions, to admit to not knowing something and to seek answers.
7.  Choose a goal bigger than you are.  If the goals you set for yourself are all within your current level of capability then you are not required to stretch or to grow.  Choose a goal that is larger than yourself to push you to learn, grow and evolve further.  

Constant evolution should be the goal that we all strive for, to be constantly pushing ourselves to be more, to know more, to do more.  With this mindset it means that our choice is not to 'Evolve OR die trying' but instead to 'Evolve AND die trying'.  We should all end our lives with the same curiosity and dedication to growth that we entered the world with.  

Keep On Keeping On

We all have dreams.  We all have goals.  Some of us reach them, some of us don't.  

We all hit obstacles and roadblocks that deter us.  We experience setbacks and failures.  Some of us give up in the face of these challenges, some of us don't.

Often the key difference between those who 'make it', and those that don't, is simply that successful people keep on keeping on.  They see the hurdles and obstacles as simply something that needs to be overcome.  They don't allow themselves to become overwhelmed and demoralized by the challenges, they don't listen to the critics, to the armchair quarterbacks that find it easier to sit back and share 'why' something won't work rather than jumping in and helping something to succeed.  Instead, they keep their eye on the goal and find another way.

They learn from the lesson of failure, determining what didn't work and why, and fix it.  Each setback creates a stronger and better defined path to the future they envision.  It's not an easy journey.  The path is littered with the detritus of those that have walked it before but abandoned the effort along the way.  Those that didn't manage to stay the course are far too likely to help you abandon your efforts than they are to rally behind you and help keep you on your path. Having you abandon your dream helps vindicate their choice to abandon theirs.  Don't let their loss of faith cause you to lose yours.

If everyone simply gave up when things got tough then we would not have electricity, we would never have walked on the moon, we would never have broken the four minute mile; there would be no Apple, no polio vaccine, no cars.  The luxuries we enjoy today came not from people that only had a dream, but from those with the dream and the perseverance to see them through.

What path are you standing on?  Is it the path leading to the fulfillment of your dream (you know the one!) or are you standing on some side path?  The walking may be easier there but it is a path that never reaches your desired goal.  It may veer close occasionally, giving you a glimpse of the dream once again, but if you don't push through all of the scrub brush and rubble separating you, and get back on the path to your dream, you will simply continue to walk the path you're on, demoralized by the reminder of the abandoned dream.  

Perseverance is a powerful thing.  It can help us to achieve great things in our lives.  Success often comes not to those that are smarter or stronger but simply to those who keep at it a little bit longer, those that hang in and keep on trying.  

Successful people are clear about what their dream is though.  If your vision is to be a successful entrepreneur then you don't stick with a poor business concept and keep 'trying' to make that work.  Learn from that mistake and choose a better vehicle.  Many successful entrepreneurs that you speak with had many unsuccessful businesses first.  We often learn best through trial and error, but we have to recognise and learn from the attempts.  Are you learning from yours?

We all get knocked down by life.  The only thing separating those at the top, from those at the bottom, is the climb.  If you give up at any point during the climb you will not, can not, reach the summit. Those who succeed are those who simply kept moving forward, one small step at a time, knowing that doing nothing was not an option.  Sometimes, the greatest secret to achievement and Success is to simply Keep on Keeping On.

To-Do or Anti-To-Do (Lists that is!)

We are all very familiar with the concept of the ubiquitous To-Do list.  This is a standard part of any work-day, the recording of those must-do items for the day.  Although its primary purpose is to keep us on track, to provide us with a constant reminder of what we hope to accomplish during the day, it also serves as a reinforcement tool.  That small rush of pleasure we receive when we cross an item off our list, the surge of joy we feel when we actually manage to complete everything before day's end all contribute to our feeling of productivity and accomplishment.

However, the reverse is also true.  When our day has finished long before our list is completed we can experience a sense of frustration and label the day unproductive.  Too many of those days can lead us to feeling as though we are unsuccessful, that we will never reach that big goal or fulfill that dream.  This is where the Anti-To-Do list steps in.  Unlike your To-Do list, which is built at the start of your day detailing all that you want/need/intend to accomplish, the Anti-To-Do list is built over the course of the day, serving as a record of everything that you DO accomplish.

The Anti-To-Do list is a tool used by the likes of Marc Andreessen, founder of Netscape, Opsware, Ning and Andreessen Horowitz, a guy who knows how to get things done.  He uses the Anti-To-Do list to prevent his falling into the trap of not feeling productive at the end of the day.  The Anti-To-Do list reflects everything that he did manage to complete, even though it might not be everything that was on his To-Do list.
Most ambitious people tend to determine their success by measuring their progress towards the achievement of their goals.  Their daily To-Do list is a big part of this process, helping to outline steps that must be taken that day toward achieving those goals.  But, we do many things each day that are NOT on that list and that therefore get overlooked as a result.  Leaving things uncrossed by the end of the day can cause us to feel frustrated and demoralized, which can stall our forward momentum.  However, we can balance this off by then looking at our Anti-To-Do list, upon which we recorded anything useful that we did over the course of the day.  We are able to see that we actually accomplished many more things than we were previously giving ourselves credit for, helping us to see our capability and contribution.

The Anti-To-Do list can actually help us to feel more productive, by highlighting just how much we actually got done each day.  The more productive we feel the more productive we'll be.  There are some additional benefits to the Anti-To-Do list though, that may not be immediately apparent.  Maintaining a list of all the useful things you accomplish each day may also serve to point out where you consistently keep getting pulled off track from completing your To-Do list.  You may be helping others out, but if you are continuously completing tasks for someone else, you may find that they are the reason you are not getting more done on your list... you're busy crossing things off of theirs!

The To-Do list, though a helpful productivity tool, has become an unconsciously powerful measure of our success.  Using the Anti-To-Do list helps us to broaden our perspective on what constitutes progress toward the big goal of 'success', and is therefore a key factor in helping to build momentum toward its achievement. Mindset is everything; the more productive we feel, the more productive we will be.  Giving ourselves credit for everything we accomplish each day, not just what we have managed to cross off our To-Do list, may prove to be the motivational tool needed to get more crossed off our To-Do list!

People Buy People

People 'buy' People.

What are they 'buying' from you?

Seriously. Think about this. What is it that people get and can expect when they interact and work with you? Is it worth the price?  If what you have to offer is not uniquely different than the person standing next to you, then why would someone choose you?

It starts to feel a little like picking sports teams in grade-school, no one wants to be the last one 'picked' for the team, but this is what happens every day in business.  When you go for an interview, when project teams are being put together, when promotions are being made, when consultants are hired.  Skills, abilities, attitudes and experiences are being bought, which means we are all in the business of selling ourselves.

How good is your sales process?

As with any product, you can't sell what you don't know.  How clear are you about your strengths?  You can't articulate and highlight what you don't know.  Ideally you want to build your brand around the key strengths you possess that are both marketable AND that you enjoy using.  An exercise that I use with clients to help them uncover these strengths is the following...

Take out a piece of paper and draw a quick chart. Down the left-hand column, create a list of your accomplishments and achievements that still instill you with pride. Pride is a key component because if you still feel good about what you achieved you likely used some talents and skills you enjoy.  

Across the top row you are going to list your abilities.  Start with the first accomplishment you listed and consider the various skills and abilities that you called upon to help you complete that task.  List them in the top row, checking each off in the row across from its associated accomplishment.  

Look at the next accomplishment you listed and check off any of the abilities you added that apply to this accomplishment.  Some may have been used while others hadn't.  Add any additional skills that you haven't yet indicated.

Continue to review each accomplishment, checking off any of the abilities you've listed that were used to complete each, while also adding any additional skills/abilities that were also used.

When completed, take a look at the abilities with the most check marks. These likely represent those skills/abilities that you call upon the most and represent your key strengths. Given that these accomplishments are pride-filled moments for you, these strengths are also likely to be things you enjoy doing and are talents that others recognise in you and turn to you for help with. These are the elements that people 'buy' from you.

Knowing what you have to sell to others is one thing, selling it is another.  People can't buy what they don't know is for sale.  What are your marketing strategies?  Doing great work, and letting it speak for you, is one strategy... but it is only one. On its own it is insufficient to ensure that your product - 'you' - stands out on the shelves.  What other strategies could you implement that help you to stand out and be seen?  Here are a couple of quick tips borrowed from our Bragging Rights program to help get you started...

• When you have helped someone out and they thank you, don't ever respond with... 'No problem'.  Ever.  Saying 'no problem' implies that, in fact, it was no problem.  Which is rarely ever true.  Don't diminish the work you did by saying that it was no problem.  Simply saying 'you're welcome' is better, but consider letting them know you went out of your way for them by saying something along the lines of... 'I know how important it was to your project so I juggled a few things to make some room to help you out'.  It never hurts to let someone know you are willing to give a little something extra, which helps differentiate you from the rest of the crowd.
• When you enjoy doing something, let people know... so you can get more of it!  We may be good at many things, but we really only want to work on those that we are both good at AND love doing. Others aren't likely to distinguish between the two if you don't highlight the difference for them.  
• When you meet people that you haven't seen in a while and they ask you what you've been up to, do not... I repeat ... DO NOT simply say 'nothing much', or 'keeping busy'.  Give them some insight. This is a great opportunity to insert a little brag-bite, a short update on something, just one thing, that you have been doing that highlights a strength.  Make it short, snappy, interesting... but start getting the word out about what it is that you can do if you want people to remember it, and you, when great new projects are coming down the pipe.  

People are constantly in the market for people.  People to help bridge the gap between their personal talents and their needs.  Help them to see you as the right fit for that gap by selling yourself appropriately.  People are buying people all the time.  If they are not buying 'you' then it may be time for you to revamp your marketing strategies.
 

 

 

Planning your Becoming

It's that time of year where the internet abounds with ideas for setting your resolutions, suggestions on keeping your resolutions and consolation to those that break them.  You can find tools and articles to help you set your goals, ways to make them SMART, and systems to help you break them down into manageable bites and schedule them.

Instead, I want to suggest that you add a dimension into your goal-setting this year.  All too often we focus on what we want to do or have.  Our focus is on what we want to 'get' out of and from our goal setting, but we spend little time reflecting on what that achievement will make of us.  We are all shaped by our experiences in some way.  What we live through, the way we approach and experience it, will shape the person we become.  It therefore makes sense to devote some time to considering, and planning, our Becoming.

“The major reason for setting a goal is for what it makes of you to accomplish it. What it makes of you will always be the far greater value than what you get.”  Jim Rohn

We can all set goals that are achievable, allowing us to check them off the list and feel good about ourselves in being able to do so.  However, asking ourselves whether that goal aided us in becoming 'more' of the person we want and hope to be, is likely going to be a more challenging criteria.

Instead of simply establishing that almost inevitable New Year's resolution of weight-loss (come on... we all likely have a few pounds to lose after the holidays!) consider instead that the goal is not simply to lose weight.  In Planning your Becoming you take this a step further.  Perhaps you have always struggled to lose the weight, or perhaps your challenge was not in losing but in keeping the weight off.  The goal then is not truly to merely lose the weight but to gain the ability to remain with a lifestyle plan that allows you to create and maintain a healthy weight.  What do you need to 'become' in order to make this true of you?  A weight-loss plan merely becomes the vehicle by which you become the type of person that no longer needs a conscious weight-loss plan with a definitive start and stop, you simply 'are' the weight you want to to be, leading a lifestyle that supports that - effortlessly.

Your efforts shift slightly as your focus shifts.  No longer are you rewarding and celebrating each pound lost as the milestone, but instead rewarding the resiliency to stick with the plan, you recognise each donut you say no to as a nod to your determination, each sit-up and push-up as a testament to your internal strength and determination.

These are the life-lessons that surround us, that have not only helped shape the person that we have Become thus far, but that continue to shape us into the person we will be in the future.  Who do you want to be? Craft and plan now for your Becoming.  Build goals that test and strengthen and build the character traits you admire, the skills you want to possess, the values you believe in.  It's not simply about checking things off of the list, it's about checking the right things off.

Take a look at your list of resolutions and goals for the year and assess what their accomplishment truly means to you.  What life lessons will they provide, what character traits do they support or allow you to test or discover, what values do they build?  Who you Become is within you to create.  Begin shaping it consciously by establishing goals and accomplishments that support your Becoming.

Everything we do teaches us something about ourselves.  Spend your time wisely, teaching yourself those things that are worth learning.