The Failure Conundrum

There are a lot of mixed messages out there around the concept of failure. 

• Business gurus direct entrepreneurs to 'Fail Fast' or to 'Fail Often'
• We are told that from 'Big' Risks come 'Big' Rewards
• Or that 'If you're not Failing, then you're not Trying'

All of which would indicate that failing, in its many forms, can have a positive impact and may, at times, even be desirable. Certainly when we are talking about the personal growth and development of ourselves, or our people, there is a lot of learning that takes place through failure; through trial and error.  

The dilemma though is that in most organizations failure has consequences. Companies want employees to take risks, because they don't get ahead if you don't, but you'd better not mess anything up when you do! Companies may spout rhetoric around being accepting of failure but systemically not prove supportive.

We want our children to build a life around their strengths and talents, but then studiously avoid letting them know when they lack skill or need improvement.  Instead, we over-emphasize how 'good' they are at something, leaving them with an over-inflated view of their skills. We develop a culture that says it should be enough that they 'want' it or that they 'tried'. The actual outcome of the effort doesn't matter as much as the fact that they made an effort. The concept of failure is foreign because the word itself was avoided.

The conundrum... We are told that failure can be a good thing, but taught to avoid it at all costs.

How then do we build a successful company, a successful life if we don't make allowances for failure? If we don't build in an understanding and acceptance of the lessons that come with failing, then we are doing our children, ourselves and our companies a disservice.  

Failure helps build resiliency.

Failure helps build perseverance.

Failure helps build strength.

Failure helps build success.

The key to making the above statements true, of course, is that you learn from your mistakes. Each failure must teach you something, must result in your modifying your approach to help you reach success. 

 

All great successes are preceded by a series of failures

To help you ensure that you are growing from your failures, ask yourself the following...

• What has this failed attempt taught me?
• What might I try differently as a result?
• What further support, information, skill might I need?

And if you find that you haven't failed at anything recently...

• Is there something I am hesitating trying because I am concerned about the possibility of failing?
• Where might I push my skills even further?
• What new challenges can I set for myself?
• What am I interested in learning?

Regardless of what anyone says, there are winners and losers, successes and failures.  In the end, these are just labels. What's important to remember is not whether you lost or failed, but what you did with that experience. What you learn from it is what will determine what you earn from it. 

Keep On Keeping On

We all have dreams.  We all have goals.  Some of us reach them, some of us don't.  

We all hit obstacles and roadblocks that deter us.  We experience setbacks and failures.  Some of us give up in the face of these challenges, some of us don't.

Often the key difference between those who 'make it', and those that don't, is simply that successful people keep on keeping on.  They see the hurdles and obstacles as simply something that needs to be overcome.  They don't allow themselves to become overwhelmed and demoralized by the challenges, they don't listen to the critics, to the armchair quarterbacks that find it easier to sit back and share 'why' something won't work rather than jumping in and helping something to succeed.  Instead, they keep their eye on the goal and find another way.

They learn from the lesson of failure, determining what didn't work and why, and fix it.  Each setback creates a stronger and better defined path to the future they envision.  It's not an easy journey.  The path is littered with the detritus of those that have walked it before but abandoned the effort along the way.  Those that didn't manage to stay the course are far too likely to help you abandon your efforts than they are to rally behind you and help keep you on your path. Having you abandon your dream helps vindicate their choice to abandon theirs.  Don't let their loss of faith cause you to lose yours.

If everyone simply gave up when things got tough then we would not have electricity, we would never have walked on the moon, we would never have broken the four minute mile; there would be no Apple, no polio vaccine, no cars.  The luxuries we enjoy today came not from people that only had a dream, but from those with the dream and the perseverance to see them through.

What path are you standing on?  Is it the path leading to the fulfillment of your dream (you know the one!) or are you standing on some side path?  The walking may be easier there but it is a path that never reaches your desired goal.  It may veer close occasionally, giving you a glimpse of the dream once again, but if you don't push through all of the scrub brush and rubble separating you, and get back on the path to your dream, you will simply continue to walk the path you're on, demoralized by the reminder of the abandoned dream.  

Perseverance is a powerful thing.  It can help us to achieve great things in our lives.  Success often comes not to those that are smarter or stronger but simply to those who keep at it a little bit longer, those that hang in and keep on trying.  

Successful people are clear about what their dream is though.  If your vision is to be a successful entrepreneur then you don't stick with a poor business concept and keep 'trying' to make that work.  Learn from that mistake and choose a better vehicle.  Many successful entrepreneurs that you speak with had many unsuccessful businesses first.  We often learn best through trial and error, but we have to recognise and learn from the attempts.  Are you learning from yours?

We all get knocked down by life.  The only thing separating those at the top, from those at the bottom, is the climb.  If you give up at any point during the climb you will not, can not, reach the summit. Those who succeed are those who simply kept moving forward, one small step at a time, knowing that doing nothing was not an option.  Sometimes, the greatest secret to achievement and Success is to simply Keep on Keeping On.

Failure or Near-Win?

So much of how we experience life is based on how we perceive it.  Shakespeare himself highlighted this in Hamlet when Hamlet says "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so".  It is our thoughts that shape our perceptions and, in turn, our experiences.  When we apply this to the concept of Success, it stands to reason then that the way in which we view our apparent 'lack of Success' will influence the actions we take in the future and, in turn, the level of Success we achieve.

There is a vast difference in our minds between thinking of our 'lack of success' as a failure or as a near-win. Both mean that we have not  hit our target, to have fully achieved what we set out to.  However, the label we apply to that result determines what comes next.  The 'label' will ultimately serve to determine the actions we take, either propelling us forward, turning us in a new direction or leading us to give up the attempt.

Studies have been conducted that look at the impact of achieving silver or bronze in the Olympics.  In many studies it has been found that Bronze medalists are far happier with their achievement than are Silver medalists.  Bronze winners are happy because they medalled.  They tend to compare their achievements against all those below them, all those who did not medal, and count themselves fortunate.  Silver medalists however, compare their achievement against the Gold medalist, the place that they had aimed and fallen short of.  They are therefore not as happy with their result as are Bronze medalists.  If we were simply looking at who is happiest with the outcome of a race we would then find it better to finish Gold, Bronze and then Silver.

However, further studies have taken a longer term perspective, reviewing the impact of the finish on future performance.  These findings have determined that more silver-place finishers go on to achieve gold in future than do bronze.  That 'Near-win' has served to reinforce their need and desire to train harder, propelling them forward.  That near-win leads them to believe they can eliminate the gap existing between them and the gold, cementing their focus on that goal.

How many of us might have pushed a little further, done a little more, had we categorized our lack of a win as a near-win, rather than as a failure?

How many of us would have stuck with something longer if we had felt we were 'close' to succeeding?

Our perspective of an event not only serves to define how we feel about that event, but also our future actions.  It's those near-wins that push us forward, that propel us to do more, to try harder.  This is what true mastery is about, the ongoing pursuit of excellence.  It is about the desire to continuously improve, whether your skill or knowledge, and to use that new-found ability to do more and better.  Masters of art, of literature, of sport, of music... became so out of the determination to improve upon their near-wins, their 'almosts', their 'can do betters'.  It was the constant pursuit of 'better' that led to their mastery.  The desire for 'better' being driven out of their view that they were almost there.  Not being there yet was not a failure, it simply meant they were close, that they were not done.  Success meant being closer today than they were yesterday.

Think of how this small shift in your thinking and perspective might be applied to your life.  Where have you applied the label of 'failure' to your actions that you could replace with the vision that they were all 'near-wins'?  How does this impact and perhaps alter your choices and future actions?

We tend to thrive when we have more to do, not when we feel we've done it all.  What 'more' is there for you to do and experience in your life?  Focus on your near-wins, turning each into a winning strategy for yourself.