It is Personal!

I am tired of the phrase... 'It's not Personal, it's Business'.

I'm tired of its overuse, I'm tired of people brandishing it like a shield to preface every potentially 'bad' conversation and, in particular, I am tired of people using it as an excuse for poor, rude and insensitive behaviour.

Where's the love people?  Where are the conversations that get personal?  Where are the conversations that let others in our lives - even those we work with - know that they matter?   Where's the 'constructive' feedback?  You know... the feedback that we can actually do something with.  Not the comments that are simply mean, cruel and spiteful... but those pieces of information, offering insights, that are coupled with ideas and suggestions for improvement?  Hmmm...  apparently it takes more thought than to simply offer criticism.

Let's face it folks... we're all human beings.  We all have feelings.  (yep... even him!)  Let's start taking accountability for the words that we say, the information we choose to share and take ownership for their impact and results.

Want to take it a step further?  Join a movement.  I happened to come across this site on the internet - a site that is dedicated simply to bringing a little more joy, happiness and... well... gosh-darnit... love into people's lives.  It's a site dedicated to writing and sending anonymous love letters.  A great way to perk up some stranger's day.



As much as you can use the site to forward a letter for you... why not take the initiative to write and leave a letter somewhere, for someone?  If you leave the 'more love letters' site name, you can always check back to see if your letter gets posted/mentioned... see how your gesture impacted someone.

Come on...  let's band together on this one...  let's MAKE it personal!

Rewrite your Labels, Rewire your Brain!

We all act according to our personal definitions of ourselves, those labels that we attach to the picture of ourselves we hold in our heads. If your label for yourself says that you're 'shy' then it comes complete with a list of behaviours that you will typically engage in, that epitomize your view of 'shyness'.  But it also comes complete with a list of behaviours that are opposite to your definition that you therefore do not display.  This list looks like a running commentary of impossibilities, each typically prefaced by a statement such as:

• I can't...
• I'm not...
• I don't...

Unfortunately, each of these is also stated in absolute terms.  It's these phrases that form the basis of our limiting beliefs, those beliefs that inhibit us from doing, trying or becoming sometimes the very things that we want for ourselves.

To move forward, we have to challenge these limiting belief systems.  We have to reframe them to more positive statements that at least serve to open us to possibilities rather than cutting us off from them.  For example, 

• I'm not athletic.  [Result - you won't engage in any athletic activity]

Reframe it instead as...

• I am athletic 'enough'.  [Result - it creates the possibility for you to participate in athletic activities.  It frees you from having to be great at them, or even good. You are athletic 'enough' to get off the couch and 'do' it! All too often we stop ourselves from engaging in activity we would enjoy, simply because we think we might not be any good at it. Think instead of only needing to be good enough. Far more open a belief!

Consider the statement...

• I am not good at speaking in public.  [Result - I don't deliver presentations or speak up in meetings, costing me precious visibility within the company]

Reframe it instead...

• I am able to speak convincingly with others, regardless of venue.  [ Result - this sets the mindset that you will be confident and capable of speaking in public, allowing your brain to set you up for success instead of failure! The brain likes to give you what you ask of it.  Ask it to fail and it will. Ask for something positive and specific and it is far more likely to ensure that's what you get]

Now sit down and start examining your limiting beliefs.  Listen for the times in your head that you fail to attempt something because that voice is telling you...  I can't, I don't, I'm not.  Those are your cues to examine and rewrite those beliefs.  Rewiring the way that your brain thinks about certain activities will open you to experience more success in your life.  

The Power of Words...

Enough said.