The Value of Traditions

As I write this blog it is Easter Monday.  My family have come and gone, the feasting is long over. However, the gathering together of the family started me thinking about the value and meaning of the traditions we hold. There are rituals that families follow that help imbue to that family its roots and values.  Traditions may have religious significance or be more familial in focus, but they tend to mark the important events within the growth of a family.

My maternal grandparents were Ukrainian.  This meant that holidays were punctuated with specific foods and traditions that had, at their foundation, the Ukrainian culture.  For Easter, the hand painted Pysanky eggs were a traditional decoration on the table and were an art form I turned my hand to a number of times over the years (not with any significant degree of talent or success however).  This year, my young grandsons arrived for Easter dinner with a wooden version of these beautiful eggs, beginning their introduction and connection to a history and past that they have yet to understand but that is starting to take shape none the less.  Our traditions serve to pass something of meaning and value to our future generations.

Organizations too develop their own unique traditions and rituals, serving to establish their culture.  It is through these small moments that the values of the organization are communicated, that the roots take shape. It is in our moments of celebration that we define what is important to us, it is in our mourning that we give voice to what we value.  These moments shape a religion, they shape a family and they shape an organization.

I invite you to give thought to what messages you are passing on to your children with the traditions you have created and observe, the messages that will carry on to your grandchildren and their children in turn.  Are they messages of love, of peace, of understanding?  Are they values that will help them to shape positive lives, families and communities?

I invite you to give thought to what messages you are passing on to your employees with the traditions you have created and observe, the messages that will carry on to their employees and those below them.  Are they messages of love, of peace, of understanding?  Are they values that will help them to shape positive lives, families and communities?

I look at the bowl of Pysanky, gracing the center of my Easter table, and I think of the history they represent, of family I have loved and lost, of the generations of family that have come before me that have had a hand in crafted the 'me' that I am and the young men my grandsons are becoming.  I am thankful that these traditions and rituals have, at their foundation, a history rich in strength, a positive work ethic, and a willingness and drive to succeed that served my ancestors well in the past, as they serve me today, and that will continue through my grandchildren.

What are the traditions you are creating within your organization today and how will they stand the test of time?  We often get caught up in what is expedient without considering how it will test out over time.  Know that each action and step you take today is laying the foundation for what is to follow.  Take a moment today to think about the legacy that your work is creating and determine whether it is one of design.  It is never too late to begin creating the rituals that will establish the traditions of the future.
 

The Problem with... No Problem

You've all likely said this at some point...  in response to someone thanking you for helping them out or doing them a favour... you've responded to their Thank-You with the phrase... 'No Problem'.

It sounds innocent enough, a couple of words offered often as a way of remaining humble in the face of someone's thanks.  However, sometimes our words can work against us, in ways we don't realize, and this is one of those times.  In fact, I want to categorically state, up front, that my hope is that, after reading this blog, you forever and always strike the phrase 'No Problem' from your vocabulary. Forever!  Truly!

Here's what happens.  Someone asks us to do something.  Typically, it is something that they want and need immediately because they failed to plan properly and are under the gun.  This is their issue, not yours, and yet their request of you now shifts it into being - your problem.  Although you are busy yourself, you succumb to their pleas, tears and Bambi-like eyes and somehow manage to squeeze it into your already overloaded schedule.  That bathroom break you had planned?  Gone!  That quick pop out to actually get some lunch? Not going to happen.  Their work though?  Done!

In the face of their thanks then, why would we ever want to leave them with the impression that fulfilling their request was, in fact, no problem?  It was a big problem!  We didn't eat.  We put our work on hold, some of which we will likely take home with us to get done.  We didn't have time to pee for heaven's sake and yet, we politely inform the other party that fitting their work into our day was... No Problem for us.

Think for a moment of the impact of those seemingly harmless two little words.

• The other party believes that this was no problem for us and therefore won't hesitate to dump things our way in the future.  We obviously aren't all that busy.
• The other party is wounded and feels diminished because work that they struggled with caused you no angst.  Hmmm... are they that 'slow' around everything?
• Your time and efforts have now been de-valued.  The other person needn't be indebted to you because what you did for them was not a big deal.  No favours owed here!
• When it comes time to recognise those that go over and above in helping others, your name is curiously missing from the list because, after all, everything you had done was no problem and is therefore not remembered.

There are so many other ways to respond to someone else's thanks that don't diminish you, your value or worth... start using them!

• You're welcome.  (Plain, basic, to the point, but sometimes simple works best!)
• My pleasure.  (Great to use when it is true!)
• It was a challenge but I know how important this was for you.  (Good one to use when you know you're going to need to ask a favour of them soon!)
• I'm pleased that I managed to make it happen!  (Good for highlighting that you weren't sure you could but were willing to go out on a limb for them anyway!)
• I can't always manage to squeeze more into my days but I'm glad I was able to accommodate you today (great if you want them to think twice about asking in future!)

The above are good starting points and likely are highlighting for you many other, more creative, and more positively impactful ways to respond to someone else's thanks.  And... before you thank me for offering you this lesson today, let me respond upfront with a very heart felt...  It was my pleasure!

Building the Thankfulness Muscle

We seem to spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about what we don't have in our lives, with what's missing, with what ticked us off, with what's going wrong.  Why does it often prove so difficult to consider what we do have, what is right in our world, to think about what we are thankful and grateful for?  Like any skill in life, it turns out that being thankful takes... practice! As it happens, our thankfulness muscles may simply be a little underused and need a bit of a tune-up!

Let's face it, we probably would have little difficulty in creating a complaint list!  In fact, many of us might ask for a second piece of paper in doing so!  Would we find the creation of a gratitude list as easy? Likely not. We know from research that there are many benefits to becoming more proficient at being grateful:

• writing in a gratitude journal for 15 minutes each evening helps you to worry less at bedtime and sleep longer and better afterward
• increases overall sense of life satisfaction and happiness
• increases your sense of achievement and success
• tends to increase loving and kind gestures
• improves mental alertness
• staves off certain psychological disorders
• improves overall physical health and well-being

It seems that thankfulness has a lot to commend it.  Rather than spending time dissecting why we don't seem predisposed to 'do' it more (or beating ourselves up about it!)... let's just jump to the recognition that displaying a little more thankfulness and gratitude in our lives would be a good thing!  Like any muscle that has been left too long unused though, our Thankfulness muscles have likely atrophied over time.  We many need to strengthen them a little before truly seeing and experiencing the full benefit.

Consider taking two minutes at the end of each day to write down three things you are grateful for that day.  That's it... just three!  

This may prove a little more daunting at first than it sounds.  It is not unusual to struggle to come up with some things we are grateful for that rise above... I'm thankful for air conditioning or... I'm thankful that the drive-through got my order right!  That's okay... baby steps!  You wouldn't want to hop up off of a lifetime on the couch and run a marathon without some preparation either!  We're just developing your thankfulness muscles here.  Over time you will gradually see a shift in the quality, nature and, perhaps, even the volume of things you are grateful for each day.

As with anything, you tend to get what you focus on.  Setting a mindset to begin to recognise and identify things to be grateful for helps you to recognise them when they come along.  You'll likely find that there were plenty of things to be grateful for all along... you just weren't disposed to notice them. Like anything, seeing the good (instead of the bad) is largely a conditioned habit.  It just takes focus. With a little two minute mental exercise each day, you can strengthen your thankfulness muscle and start reaping the positive benefits, an insight that I am truly thankful for!