Tip Thursday - Body Language

We've all heard that a smile can be incredibly powerful.  However, research has also shown that it is a contributor to your overall success in business and love. Researchers have reviewed photos of couples and found that those who were not smiling in their early photos together were 5 times more likely to experience divorce.

Additionally, other researchers found that in reviewing the early sports photos of professional ball players that those smiling in their early rookie cards were significantly more likely to experience success in their professional careers.

The key to this is the link to optimists. Those who are more optimistic - and that's what smiles tend to show - find it easier to get along with people and to expect good things to happen to them, thereby contributing to their success in marriage and, at least, in professional baseball!

Tip Thursday - Success

Research has shown us that happy people not only tend to live happier lives, but they also live longer, have more fulfilling relationships, make better decisions, have stronger immune systems, appear more attractive to others, cope better with setbacks AND tend to make more money.  Research also demonstrates that you can choose your mindset.  With all of the benefits - why not choose to be happy? Be thankful, see the glass half full, seek our and focus on the joy in life.  Not only will you have a more positive outlook and healthier for it, but it's likely also a key to Success!

Change your Posture... Change your Thoughts

We are hearing a lot in the media lately about how to 'read' someone's body language to uncover their feelings about our product, the situation, the offer, or even us.  But little seems to be written about the impact of body language on how we feel.  When learning to read and interpret the body language of others, instructors will often have you shift your body into the position of the other party. When you are standing or sitting exactly like them, question yourself about what you are feeling while in this posture.  Odds are... it's similar to what they are feeling.

As much as we can use this to help us understand others, it has another important lesson for us.  If we can shift how we feel by shifting how we sit or stand, then we can strategically Craft our thoughts and feelings by modifying our posture. Want to feel more confident?  Adopt a more confident way of standing and moving.  Want to feel happier? Start smiling.  Want to feel more energetic?  Stop slumping and shorten the length of your gestures, moving your limbs a little faster when speaking.

You want to feel more positive, energetic and happy about life?  You can take the long route and explore why you aren't those things already, eliminate barriers and obstacles to those feelings, and then forge ahead to experience more of them in your life.  Or...  you can adopt the body language of someone who is positive, energetic and happy and... begin to feel and experience more of them in your life.  Either path gets you to the same place.  One just gets you there faster.

The simple truth is that our brain doesn't know the difference.  It believes that if we are standing, sitting, or moving a certain way then we must 'be' a certain way and it makes it so.  Pretty powerful stuff.  The following are 5 examples of shifts you can make in your body language to experience more of these in your life...

Power.

To appear more powerful to others and, more importantly, to feel more confident and powerful in your interactions, you need to learn to adopt a more powerful pose.  Powerful people take up space so plant your feet firmly (at least shoulder width apart) and open up your limbs.  You want to make more expansive gestures, ending them away from your body.  Elongate your spine, ensuring that your shoulders are back, your head is up.

Willpower.

Willpower implies that we are feeling challenged, but that we are pushing through.  It therefore has a tension to it.  You want to feel willpower in those moments when yours are slipping?  Tense up your muscles.  Studies show that when you firm up your muscles you can better withstand pain, take unpleasant medicine, resist temptation, etc.  So the next time you are faced with the display case of 'goodies' en route to ordering your 'skinny' latte, don't slink on past and avoid eye contact with the case, tighten up your muscles while elongating your spine.  This will give you the willpower you need to resist and will also communicate to your brain that you have the strength to do it again, and again, and again.

Insight.  If you are trying to solve a particularly difficult problem... lie down.  Let's face it, we often solve major issues or come up with our best ideas after we sleep on them.  Lying down increases our propensity for arriving at creative solutions.  Sure, they may think you're a little crazy at work (you might want to ensure you're in a room with a closed door!) but hey... it works!

Persuasive.

We all have times where we need to influence or persuade the thinking or decisions of others.  Know that hand gestures are critical to helping increase the persuasiveness of your argument.  The most effective gestures, of course, are called Illustrators; those gestures that help to support and illustrate the point you are making.  Any gestures that help your audience to 'visualize' what you are saying, helps to bring them closer to your message and find it more agreeable.

Happiness.

It is generally safe to say that most of us could do with feeling happy more often.  As mentioned earlier, if you want to feel more happiness... smile.  The smile is the only universal gesture that there is.  It transcends gender, age, culture, socio-economic status, or ethnicity.  A smile... is a smile.  Babies in the womb smile.  Those born blind at birth smile when happy.  Research has shown that the simple act of smiling, whether you mean it or not, releases endorphins into the body that help you feel good and... happier.

The bottom line... if you are feeling an emotion that isn't serving you then shift your posture and body language to one that does.  That simple shift will move you into a mindset that will be more productive for you and will net you more positive results.

The Power of a Smile

In my Executive Presence seminars I always emphasize that a smile, given it’s one of the few truly universal facial gestures, is one of the strongest tools in your professional tool-kit. Researchers at Penn state have found that when you smile, you appear to others as instantly more likeable, courteous and competent. That small gesture has a significant impact on your credibility.

However, I rarely have the time to go into as much detail about the smile as research has found, all of which serve to highlight the benefits of the smile and build the case for smiling more. Hold on now though… because here we go!!

• Using 3D ultra-sound technology, we have found that babies smile in the womb. In fact, we are typically born smiling (until the cold of the outside world or a slap on the bottom bring us around!). Even babies born blind… smile!

• We typically smile to express joy and satisfaction. Interestingly, children can smile more than 400 times per day. However, smile research in adults finds that only one third of us smile more than 20 times per day, with none of us coming close the 400 smiles of childhood. Further, 14% of us smile less than 5 times per day. Little joy happening there!

• Studies that were conducted measuring the size of smiles in student’s yearbook photos with their later success in life found that the bigger the smile, the more successful they proved to be – more successful with their marriages, general well-being and were a greater inspiration to others.

• Other studies of –re 1950’s baseball player’s playing cards found that the span of their smiles predicted the span of their life. The bigger the smile, the longer the life (I kid you not!)

• The very act of smiling stimulates the brain’s reward function. Therefore the mere act of smiling increases our overall sense of happiness and well-being. For those of you that are chocoholics and rely on a piece of Godiva to help you feel better, research has found that one smile can generate the same level of positive brain stimulation as up to 2,000 bars of chocolate (forgive me if I would prefer to then combine the two and surround myself with smiling people while eating chocolate… but that’s just me!)

• Customer service personnel often place a mirror on their desk so that they can look at themselves while speaking to customers on the phone. Watching themselves as they talk serves as a reminder to smile more while talking to customers, because when you smile while speaking, it impacts the voice such that customers can ‘hear’ the smile, making the customer service representative sound warmer and more caring.

• Smiling can actually help to physically reduce the amount of stress inducing hormones in the body (dopamine, adrenaline, cortisol) while increasing the levels of mood enhancing hormones (like endorphins) and decrease your blood pressure. No drugs needed here!

• And, finally, studies have found that it is actually tremendously difficult for us to frown at someone who is smiling. The smile is evolutionarily contagious. It actually serves to suppress the control you have on your facial muscles, making it difficult to maintain a frown. The old adage ‘Smile and the world smiles with you’ is apparently more accurate than we may have believed to be true.

The smile is an integral part of your ability to connect with your audience, making you appear warmer, more attractive, caring, interested and engaging. Is it any wonder that laughter clinics are seeing a rise in their business. In a world where we are constantly pushed to succeed and exceed, it may be true that taking the time to relax and have a little fun along the way may be a secret success tool we have overlooked. As it turns out, laughter may be the best medicine after all!