How to Create Instant Rapport

For most of us, making connections with others is never easy.  They take time, which is definitely in

short supply during events such as networking gatherings.  As a result, we leave the evening with a few business cards clutched in our hand but little real feeling that we made any kind of lasting impression, let alone a real connection.

However, there are many times and circumstances over our careers where the need to form connections quickly would serve us.  We are far more likely to get hired in interviews if we are able to establish rapport, more likely to make the sale, more likely to get the big assignment or promotion. What we lack is the time we usually spend in creating shared experiences with others to establish that connection.  That`s where strengthening our ability to establish Rapport, to create a sense of familiarity where none previously existed, would serve us. 

There is interesting research out there that shows quite clearly exactly what we need to do to form instant rapport with someone. I feel it necessary to share with you first though that this is going to fly in the face of everything you have been told in the past.  You know, the advice of what topics to steer clear of (like politics and religion), to only say positive things, to keep things light and upbeat. As it turns out, talking with people about these `safe` topics may help you form connections, but nothing as quick or as strong as...

Gossip.  

Yep, the number one most effective way to form instant rapport with someone is to say something negative about someone else. Gossip that drives a revelation of a shared negative attitude will typically result in a strong emotional bond. What`s interesting is the `why` behind its effectiveness.

Gossip is usually around someone who is a perceived threat in some way, however large or small. This has been going on since caveman days where all perceived threats were taken seriously. It was a life and death issue back then. As a result, sharing information about those potential threats was a critical safety need for us and our tribe. Our brains are still hardwired to serve and protect us and therefore we respond to shared information and gossip about potential threats.

When first meeting someone we are obviously not privy to information about their personal internal competition but the gossip we share need not be about someone we know personally. It could be about a public or political figure. Since we don`t know them well we speak instead about specific traits they exhibit, policies, actions they have taken, behaviour they have engaged in. 

The common advice given is to find shared experiences to explore with the other party. Perhaps reference pictures or books they have in their office. However, the positive experiences are those that are typically readily shared. They have spoken to many about them and, as a result, connections don`t hold firm. 

People don`t tend to put their negative beliefs on display. Therefore, when we discover something the other party doesn`t like about someone else, it`s a real discovery. This is not something they share openly or with as many people which means you`ve instantly become part of a much smaller and more exclusive group of people. 

We all have a strong tendency to seek out information that confirms what we already believe to be true, rejecting information that is in conflict with it. If you tell people that what they know to be right is indeed right, they will feel more connected to you.

Although constantly gossiping about others is not a good long term success strategy, know that a few well placed negative comments early on in a conversation may go a long way to establishing a connection and providing an opening to continue the conversation. And really, all we`re typically looking for is the time needed for us to really share who we are and what we`re all about.

As it turns out, contrary to the belief that we should steer clear of discussing politics in any first meetings, it may have just held the secret to creating instant rapport with our audience. After all, who doesn`t have a negative comment or two they could share about politicians these days?

How to Be More Likable

Whether others like you are not is often a strong influence in their decision to buy from you, to promote you, to date you, to believe you, to recommend you, or to want to hang out with you. Therefore, when viewed from a career perspective, getting others to like you can definitely be advantageous to your career and potential advancement.

By nature we humans are social creatures.  We are hard wired to seek others out.  Partly this is due to our reptilian brain which is largely focused on our survival.  In early days, our survival was highly dependent upon being part of a group. There were far too many threats and challenges to our survival to ever make it on our own.  Therefore, it was necessary to be liked by others and fit in.

Just because we're hardwired to want to seek others out though, doesn't mean we are naturally good at it!  Making friends and connecting with others is not as easy as it seems, especially for those with a more naturally introverted nature.  If we add technology into the mix with find that more people are reporting feeling disconnected from others than ever before.

Given that we may have limited opportunities to form those connections with others, it is to our benefit to ensure that we are doing all that we can to increase our friendship success rate  Below I offer you some quick Body Language tips to help you appear more likable.  These nonverbal cues are friendship signals that will help you lay a positive framework for your budding friendships.

When it comes to your friendship signals, the following are the Top Three cues that serve to make you appear more likable to others. If you are looking for a place to start, these three are your big hitters.

1. Eyebrow Flash.  This one always takes people by surprise, primarily because it is an unconscious gesture that few people realize they make, or even consciously see in others.  The eyebrow flash is a quick (1/6th of a second) up and down movement of the eyebrows, which is our primary friend signal. This cue announces to others that we are not a threat.  Our brains will automatically look for this signal when first meeting someone.  
2. Head Tilt.  Tilting the head to side is viewed as a non-threatening gesture since it exposes your carotid arteries to the other person. It demonstrates that you are listening to them. If you also tilt your head slightly in the direction of the other person you are likely to be viewed as being friendly and honest.  Note however, that tilting the head to the side helps you be seen as more likable but not dominant.  Therefore, using it during greetings and first meetings may be appropriate, but when giving presentations it does not.
3. Real Smile.  Smiling is a universal gesture and therefore is a powerful tool in our toolkit.  It is a powerful friend signal that helps others see us as more engaging, attractive and likable.  The act of smiling itself can put us and others in a better mood and can be contagious, making others want to reciprocate with a smile.  A note on this too though... fake smiles are typically readily detected by others so try to smile from the heart.  Generally, if you smile with the intent of putting others at ease it will help your smile to be more natural and genuine.

Although the above three tips are the top three friendship signals, there are a number of other cues that also help to communicate to others your interest and engagement. You can up your likability by also using any of the following...

• Eye contact.  This cue works in tandem with the other friend signals.  When first meeting someone hold eye contact for one full second, ending the gaze with a smile.  Don't hold the first gaze for longer, lest it come across as aggressive and intimidating.  Future gazes can be longer, signifying many other things, but your first gaze is there to signal your interest in exploring something 'more'.
• Touch.  This can be a strong friendship signal but it is one where you also need to exercise caution, particularly in a work setting.  Studies have shown that even a fleeting touch can have a significant influence on friendships.  Here we are referring to a light and brief touch on the forearm during a brief social encounter.  
• Inward lean.  People tend to lean their upper body slight toward people that they like and away from those they don't.  Therefore leaning your upper body slightly toward your audience will unconsciously communicate to them that you like them. Given that we tend to like those that like us, this can work in your favor.
• Head nodding.  We will often nod our head when someone says something we agree with, or when we are looking to be supportive of them. Therefore, a couple of brief nods of the head when first meeting someone will indicate your approval of them and of your interest in what they are saying, both of which make you more likable in turn.

Connecting with others may not be a skill that comes naturally or readily to us, but it is a skill that we can become better at with a little practice.  Take one or two of the behaviours above and try them on for size, playing with them a little at your next networking event and see what the impact is.  As they become more comfortable for you, add in another until you have more friends than you can handle!


 

Making Friends to Build your Network

If I asked you what the ultimate goal of Networking is, what would you say?

The most common response I get is that Networking is all about making contacts. However, this quickly becomes a far too narrow expectation.  Consider what your ultimate hope and expectation is of those connections. Are you looking for those connections to offer you their knowledge and expertise?  Are you looking for them to 'buy' your products or services?  Are you looking for them to refer you to their contacts and connections?  If your answer is yes, then you must consider the need to make them more than merely a 'contact', they need to become a 'friend'.

Certainly they don't need to become your best friend or godparent to your children, but they do need to become someone with more of a connection to you than just a card in their pocket.  Building an effective network is about more than extending your business card collection, it is about establishing a network of individuals that have a solid base and connection to you.  The true magic is that you can build these connections through your networking events, you just have to understand what you are looking to build, and how to do it.

Business card collectors have a tendency to attend different networking events constantly, parachuting in, working the crowd and then heading on to the next event.  They rarely or infrequently attend the same event twice.  Certainly, attending different events in the beginning is a smart way to identify which are the 'right' events for you. Whether looking to identify potential customers or to extend your network of contacts in your specific field, you need to find out which events they typically go to.  This might take a little trial and error to start but, once you've found the right events for you and your needs, you keep going.

According to Jack Schafer, in his book The Like Switch, there is a very definitive Friendship Formula, one which the FBI perfected as a means of recruiting spies.  Yes, cool foundation, but the point is that it will work for your purposes also.  There are four basic building blocks to the formula:

Friendship = Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity

Proximity - is the distance between you and the other party, your exposure to them over time.  This means that there is a strong benefit to being seen at a specific networking event consistently each month.  Sharing the same physical space with someone else makes you more attractive to them, establishing a connection based on commonality.

Frequency - is the number of contacts you have with someone over time.  Popping into a networking event, never to show again, is all about you.  Attending the same event consistently establishes a commitment to forming 'real' connections that will resonate with those looking to do the same. Simply 'seeing' you at the event each month breeds familiarity and helps to establish trust, even if they haven't had the opportunity to speak with you yet.

Duration - is the length of time spent with someone over time.  We typically spend more time with people we like and engaged in activities we enjoy.  Therefore, the more time that someone spends with you, the greater the bond that is established. This is not just measured by the minutes you are in direct conversation.  Shared experiences count. Therefore, simply seeing your face a number of times over the course of an evening registers as a 'period' of time you have invested similarly and helps to build that sense of familiarity.

Intensity - refers to how strongly you are able to satisfy another person's needs (psychological or physical) through your verbal or nonverbal behaviours.  Those who attend a networking event solely to pass out their cards are not focused on meeting the needs of others, they are focused on having their needs met.  Although offering your services to help alleviate someone else's pain point is a desirable way to satisfy someone's needs, recognise that you typically should look to build to this by subtly satisfying other needs first, in smaller less direct ways.  Providing them with an introduction to someone else that could be of service to them, or that may prove to be a valuable connection for them is one such way.  However, simply smiling across the room at someone who looks disconnected or uncomfortable can work to establish a sense of connection and gratitude that begins the formation of a relationship even before being introduced. By satisfying non-work related needs first you help to create the belief that you are more likely to satisfy their work needs too.

Strong networks are not determined by the number of contacts you have, but by the quality of the relationship.  Learning to 'make new friends' may prove to be one of the best lessons we can bring forward from the playgrounds of our childhood to help us be successful in our business careers.  As with all things though, there is a science to it that can help those of us that are a little less naturally extroverted to create the business relationships that will serve us in building our businesses and careers.



For those that would like to delve a little deeper into how the FBI has used this formula to build their network of spies, I offer the link to the book below.  Quite honestly, it is a fascinating read on its own as the author offers up examples of how they used the various steps and principles.  However, on a lesser scale, it also has strong business applications for you.

Tip Thursday - Networking Niceties

A small but very important tip for all of you net-workers out there... Put your name tag on your right hand lapel.  Never the left.  Our eyes start out looking at the other person's extended hand (to make sure we don't miss it while trying to shake hands) and follows the extended arm until meeting the other person's eyes.  If the name tag is on the left then you are looking them in the eyes, having missed seeing their name.  If it's on the right then they see your name while also having you introduce yourself.  This helps them to actually hear your name, making them feel more comfortable and connected - what it's all about in net-working.

Be Brief: Your Audience will Thank You!

Brevity takes work.  Perhaps that's why so few seem to do it.  Either that or people just like to hear
themselves speak which, unfortunately, is a little more accurate than perhaps we'd care to admit. The truth is though, we can make a powerful, positive and lasting impression on others by simply telling them what they need to know, not everything we want to tell them.

Our objective, in any communication, is not to share everything that we know but to share what our audience needs and is interested in hearing.  It therefore requires more effort and focus on our part, to consider the needs of our audience and to use it to determine what information we posses is relevant and to simply share that.  The information we share will therefore vary by audience and by situation.  One may call for more detail and the other less.  It becomes our responsibility to pay attention to what information will serve our audience best.

In his book Brief: Making a Bigger Impact by Saying Less, author Joseph McCormack shares that there are 3 levels of detail to any story we share.

1. 1st Level Details:  These are the details and information that are central to your communication and important for your audience to hear (focus on these!)
2. 2nd Level Details:  Are those details that add colour and often a bit more clarity, but that aren't critical components of the message itself
3. 3rd Level Details:  Are accurate pieces of information but they do little to enhance the communication itself or the understanding of your audience

Level one represents the important and primary components of your communications.  As for the other two levels?  Be judicious in your use of 2nd level details and avoid using level 3 at all.  

The more that we talk, the more that the conversation becomes about us, whether it's our self-focus, our nervousness and discomfort, our lack of confidence or perhaps even our actual lack of understanding of the topic itself.  Sometimes by trying to share everything we know we actually highlight the reverse.  

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, and to have the two as close together as possible.      George Burns

What you are sharing with others should be of interest and importance to them.  Don't make them work for it, either by waiting for it or having to weed through extraneous information.  Choose to demonstrate your respect for your audience by putting their needs above your own.  Use their reactions as a gauge to determine how well you are addressing those needs.  Yawns and shifting in their seats are generally good indicators that you have gone on too long and overstated your case.

Think about what your audience needs to know.  Say it.  Sit down.

Enough said.



(for those that would like to check out 'Brief' for themselves here's a link you can use to purchase your copy)

Making Your Luck

My eldest son is 'lucky'.  He has won more contests and free stuff over the years than anyone I know. Most are envious of his luck, typically lamenting how they just aren't that lucky, that fate somehow hasn't treated them the same.  However I know from first hand experience that he makes his luck.

He wins more contests because he enters more contests.  If there is a chance of winning anything, he drops his card into the slot, fills out a ballot, completes an entry.  Most people I know don't do that.  They determine that it isn't something they are interested in, not something they'd use, they don't want everyone to have their contact information... and they don't 'win' as often.  In essence, you can't expect to win 'it', if you're not in it!

This discrepancy though got me to wondering about whether this same attitude relating to contests and giveaways exists within the larger context of 'luck', especially when it relates to life opportunities. According to Dr. Stephann Makri, in looking into why some people seem 'luckier' than others, serendipity is more than just an accident.  Apparently 'lucky' people all recognise opportunities that present themselves and take action on them.  In his book The Luck Factor, author Richard Wiseman concurs that some people aren't necessarily luckier than others, they are just quicker to spot and take advantage of opportunities.

There is some research supporting the view that extroverts tend to be a little luckier than others, but this is simply because they tend to engage more people and more connections tends to correlate to having more opportunities.  It stands to reason then that luck can be cultivated, we can indeed create our own luck.

The following are some key tips to help you increase your Luck Factor...

Prepare yourself for Chance.  All of the studies indicate that those considered to be lucky tend to be much more open to new opportunities.  Exposing yourself to new opportunities and perspectives increases your chances at continuing to have more opportunities.  To practice your openness begin by looking at a situation that you have an established view and opinion on and then come up with 5 plausible alternative views.  Learning to broaden our perspectives helps prevent us from closing ourselves from new opportunities too quickly.

See Serendipity everywhere.  Serendipity is described as chance encounters that lead to happy outcomes. Don't just prepare yourself for chance, begin actively seeking it out.  Serendipitous events surround us, but we have to see them in order to act upon them.  You have probably experienced them a couple of times in your life, a chance encounter with someone that connected you to an unexpected opportunity.  However, as with anything, you see more of what you attune yourself to see.  You may feel that you saw no orange cars on your drive in to work but, primed to watch for them, you see five on your drive home.  Watching for serendipity helps to see and experience more of it in your life.

Take a Break.  Although conscientiousness has its benefits, it is no true friend to serendipity.  Being too rigidly focused on the tasks at hand creates a tunnel vision that limits your ability to give chance a... well... chance.  You have to allow yourself to be a little off track and loose in your thinking sometimes to be open to 'interruptions' to the process.  As we get older it may be more difficult for us to experience 'luck' in our lives because we often become more set in our thinking and our habits of behaving.  We need to relax and loosen up a little to give room for chance to step in.

Say Yes.  When we are first faced with new opportunities our first reaction is usually a combination of Intrigue and Anxiety.  Your path is determined by which one of these feelings you give in to.  Over time, we tend to develop our habitual responses and patterns of behaviour by selecting one response more than the others.  This is why some people's path is paved with more happy coincidences and opportunities, while someone else's path is riddled with regrets and roads not taken.  Managing your fears, developing your courage, increases your 'luck'.

Embrace Failure.  Not every opportunity turns out well or works out for us the way we would have liked. However, lucky people are resilient.  They don't view failure as a reason not to try again in future, they simply learn what they can and need from the failure so they can apply those learnings to the next opportunity.  Most successful business owners have had failed businesses first.  That's what taught them what it took to be successful.

Use the above tips to strengthen the 'luck' that you experience in your life.  We get more of what we work on and for in life.  Some may describe the result as 'luck', others may see it is a the by-product of work and focus.  Gary Player, a professional golfer once said...

"The harder I practice, the luckier I get"

Cultivate and build your luck by building your awareness and openness to it.  There is no reason to simply sit back and wait for opportunity to knock.  Why not open the door and invite it in?


To check out more on this subject, and to get even more ideas on boosting your luck, check out The Luck Factor for yourself...

Networking No-No's

We've all been there.  We attend a networking event in the hopes of making a positive connection with others but wind up meeting people  we find it hard to like much less feel any connection to. Although networking is a useful tool if we are looking to grow our business, our skill base or our contact list, it can end up feeling like an endless parade of posers. Before we get too caught up into the cycle of blaming others for their lack of engagement, we should spend time exploring our networking habits and ensure that we are not a source of some of the issues we are experiencing!

The following are the top list of Networking No-No's... those behaviours to avoid if you want to be successful in making useful and positive connections.

Focusing only on what you want and need from an exchange.  It is great to enter into networking situations with a specific goal or need, some skill or service that you need to access, but if you're only focused on yourself and not on what you have to give you will turn people off and have them turning away.  Focusing only on your needs will not make you a positive connection for others, despite how important the contact may be for you.  Always be clear about finding ways to make yourself valuable to others.  Focusing on giving before getting will serve to establish you as someone worth keeping in their contact list, not deleting.

Being a Know-It-All.  People can sometimes go over-board trying to appear 'useful' to others by highlighting knowledge they seemingly have about 'everything'.  Using big words to sound impressive and intelligent, attempting to appear to be an expert at everything, simply to bump up your perceived profile, will turn more potential contacts off than on.  Be clear about what areas your expertise truly lie in and highlight those, allowing your connections to shine in others.  Using your familiarity with their field to boost their profile, rather than yours, will make them far more favourably disposed to you, and increases the likelihood of their reciprocating, supporting you in turn.

Pre-setting your station to... The 'You' Tube.  If your conversation is skewed to your talking about You - continuously - then you will not only leave your audience turned off but looking for a way to turn you off as well!  We all get that you have done interesting things in your life but you need to balance your sharing with some seeking behaviours.  Ask others about their experiences, their lives, their businesses, their skills.  Showing interest in others will make you appear more interesting.  Connecting with others involves an exchange, hard to do if you are the only one talking.

Looking for the 'next' connection.  When you are speaking with someone you need to be looking at them, not over their shoulder scouting out the 'next' person you want to nab and pass your card to.  The art of networking is based in the formation of connections.  To do that you need to be present to the moment and paying attention to the person in front of you.  If you are more focused on the 'next' person to meet, than in truly meeting and connecting with the person you are conversing with, you might want to consider staying home... it will net you the same results.

Playing the one-up game.  Don't get caught up in listening to someone's story with the intent to top it with one of your own.  This is not an open exchange but rather a subtle competition designed to highlight who is 'best'.  This says more about your insecurity than about your content and will do more to decrease your perceived value than increase it.  I know that people get caught up in one-upsmanship games in an attempt to make themselves appear better, smarter, or more valuable than others but it leaves a bad taste in others' mouths.  If you have to make yourself look good by making someone else look bad you will find yourself on the losing end.

Networking events can be a tremendous resource for your growing business and career, if used correctly.  Avoiding these 5 Networking No-No's will help you to be more successful in getting the return you need from your networking efforts.

New Eye Contact Rules for Speakers

We all know (likely because we have been told numerous times) that we must look at our audience when we are speaking with/to them.  This does make intuitive sense given that we do want them to feel that we are actually communicating with them and not simply pontificating.  However, new technological advances, most notably the use of eye tracking devices in psychological studies, provide us with more targeted information concerning the appropriate amount of eye contact necessary to connect.

I have long been telling my training participants that you need roughly 3-6 seconds of eye contact with your audience in order to 'connect' with them.  Shorter is good for acknowledging their presence, but we need that longer time frame in order for them to feel as though we are truly seeing and speaking with them.  As it turns out, I was roughly correct.

When speaking with a group of strangers (such as an audience) then making eye contact for 3-5 seconds to connect with and engage them is the right amount.  However, when we are meeting with someone one on one, then we need to look at them longer to connect, 7 - 10 seconds.  Although this may seem like a fairly lengthy period of time, bear in mind that when we are in conversation with someone, as we likely would be when one on one, we will be both speaking and listening.  We will typically look at people more when we are listening, and less when we are speaking, which is one of the reasons why making eye contact when on stage proves difficult for us.

When we are on stage we are speaking all of the time and therefore lack the opportunity to connect with someone while listening.  We must therefore push ourselves to make eye contact more consistently with others while speaking, which may go against some of our natural habits.  Generally we make eye contact with others roughly about 60% of our conversations, more for African-Americans, less for Asian-Americans.
When we are attempting to persuade someone however, some of the rules shift a little.  If we are making a relatively simple request of someone then our eye contact will be a positive benefit in helping us be more persuasive.  If what we need is a little more complex though, and we will be speaking about it for a longer period of time (like a speech or presentation), then too much or too long of eye contact doesn't serve us. We will likely be seen as being a little too pushy.  Additionally, if our audience has an existing position that opposes our own, then too direct or prolonged of eye contact is likely to strengthen their position rather than sway them to ours.  In this case, more eye contact will be associated with dominance and intimidation.

What to do then?  When you know that you are going to be speaking about something controversial then reduce the amount of eye contact a little.  Fall back to the lower 3 second end of the scale.  When speaking about subjects that are fairly safe, or when speaking with those that you already know well, more eye contact will be appropriate.

Of course it is important to actually look at people when you are attempting to make eye contact.  None of the 'faking it' suggestions such as:  look at their forehead, look between their eyes, look slightly over their heads... works.  People know when you are looking them in the eyes and they know when you are not. It is far better to make a solid connection with some than no connection with anyone.

The easiest way to gain some comfort with eye contact is to begin paying more attention to your current conversations.  Start with conversations you have with co-workers and friends that you know well and are comfortable with.  Pay attention to how you're making eye contact, where you're looking, how long you are engaging them through your eyes.  It is far easier to replicate this behaviour, in moments of discomfort, if you are aware of what you do when you are comfortable.


And for even more tips, check out this great resource...

Conversationally Speaking

Despite technologies making us more available and providing us with the means to connect with others around the globe, actual conversations are our greatest tool for forming true connections with others.  If our conversations serve as a means of connecting us with others, then it stands to reason that the type and nature of the conversation drives the nature of the connection.

However, creating powerful and positive connections require more than merely talking at someone else.  It requires true engagement.  Our words can impact others, sometimes in unexpected ways.  Words can trigger emotional responses that are based on the individual's past history and baggage.  Each experience lays an additional layer onto existing perspectives, becoming more embedded in the psyche.

In looking to connect with others through our conversations, it is important to establish a foundation of trust. Scientists have determined that there are powerful conversational rituals that serve to 'prime' the brain to establish trust, to enter into partnerships with others.  Specific neuro-chemicals get released into the brain that signal the trust/distrust response, the brain picking up those messages in roughly .07 seconds.

In her book 'Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust & get Extraordinary Results', Judith Glaser defines Conversational Intelligence as the intelligence that is hardwired into every human, allowing us to navigate and connect successfully with others.  She outline 3 levels of conversations, each with its own purpose and result.

1. Transactional - Informs.  This is the common Tell/Ask format, where we are usually looking for give and take.
2. Positional - Persuades.  This is more the Advocate/Inquire format, where we are generally looking to establish win/win collaborative results.
3. Transformational - Co-Creates.  This involves more of a process of mutual exchange, where we share our expertise, looking to partner with each other.

In general, in attempting to ensure we build trust during our conversations, we must focus on 

• Truly listen to the other party, without judgment (this is the same principle as Stephen Covey so aptly named in his 7 Habits... Seek first to understand)
• Ask questions to further your understanding, not as a means to get someone where you want them to go. Leading others through your questions leaves others feeling manipulated.
• Watch for signals/cues from others indicating their response.  if you aren't getting the desired reaction then reframe and redirect your approach, don't push.

Technology may be great at keeping people informed, but it takes actual conversations with others to establish and build the trust needed to feel truly connected.  Use the tips above to help you strengthen your Conversational Intelligence and begin forging stronger connections and networks.  

If you are interested in reading more about the concept of Conversational Intelligence, then you might want to pick up Judith Glaser's book below.  It's worth the read!

Complexity is Killing us!

In most companies today, productivity levels at the employee-by-employee level are disappointing, despite
many of the technological advances made espousing to increase productivity.  Research finds that more people are feeling disengaged and disenfranchised at work than ever before, despite all of the leadership development initiatives, motivational attempts and reward systems created. The very complexity of our systems is killing our motivation, engagement and productivity

The issue, as described by Yves Morieux and his team, is that as companies identify new strategic initiatives and directions, they reorganize and restructure to accommodate these new directions. As much as this seems to make a logical and intuitive sense on the surface, Morieux has found that doing so simply adds a new layer of complexity over the top of existing complexity.  Every time we restructure and create new processes and systems, we serve to heighten the confusion and disillusionment of employees, leading to disengagement.

We have checkboxes, scorecards, productivity matrices... all of which are designed to supposedly make things clearer, to make it easier to understand 'what' to do and 'how' to do it.  However, we take people further from the 'why', making it impossible for them to operate outside of the structure we created. Unfortunately for the organization though,  Morieux has found that it is the cooperation between people, not their systems, that truly makes the difference. Adaptive resilience and intelligence are the key.  Whenever people cooperate they use fewer resources and they increase effectiveness. Our increased reliance on systems though, takes us further from this.

The true issue therefore is that in over-structuring our approaches, in creating systems and processes and checklists for everything, we prevent the very thing that truly would help make a difference.  People don't have the flexibility or option to cooperate.  Instead, the lack of cooperation built into our systems, requires individuals to contribute more, to work harder for no bigger gain, leading to increased stress and burnout and an overall lack of awareness of the impact of their efforts.  Which, of course, leads to that sense of disengagement.

Instead, Morieux suggests the introduction of Smart Simplicity, which starts by understanding what your colleagues actually do.

• You must understand what their real work is, not their tasks but their purpose, in order to integrate your work with theirs more successfully.  
• Managers should exist to assist with this integration, to help create cooperative pathways. 
• The power to make concessions to one another, to heighten cooperation, must be pushed to the lowest levels.   
• Feedback loops need to be created so that employees can 'see' the impact and consequences of their decisions and actions, helping them to make better and more effective choices in the future
• You must reward those who cooperate

It appears that the key to increased employee's sense of engagement is to truly engage them and to push them to engage with others.  It occurs to me that although Morieux's suggestions are directed at the Corporate level, we also have the ability to heighten our sense of engagement in what we do each day...

• Ask colleagues 'why' they need something from you.  Coming to understand their function and requirements not only helps you to serve them better (and perhaps more efficiently in future) but it also extends your understanding of the value you provide
• Look for ways to streamline the integration between overlapping 'systems' to make it easier for you and your colleague to connect your needs in the future
• Seek out feedback on how your action served the other party.  Determine what worked and what didn't in order to refine your future actions.  Look to do what works and not waste time doing those that don't, even if you thought otherwise.
• Reward those around you for cooperating with you.  Ensure that you reward and thank those that engage in the behaviours that serve you if you want more of them in future.  In a world that fails to recognise the contributions of the 'individual', your recognition of theirs will go a long way to ensuring that you get the cooperation you need in future.

In reviewing the ideas and suggestions above, it occurs to me that this list of action steps might not just simply be a way to feel more engagement on the job, but in your life.  Despite all of the focus of people on fulfilling the needs of 'me' over the past years, it may just seem that Cooperation proves to be the best way to get more of what 'we' want after all.