Challenging Beliefs to Unlock Creativity

As a Manager it can prove challenging to get your team to think of new approaches and ways of operating. So much of the regular day-to-day grind seems to drill in the 'this is the way we do things here' type of thinking that asking for out of the box thinking can prove daunting.

We've heard that change isn't easy. Rarely do we explore why. Primarily, change requires shifting our mindsets which proves problematical because they are largely held unconsciously. To change we must modify approaches based on beliefs that we hold as truths, which is responsible for creating the rigidity of our thinking. We hold truths as absolutes, meaning they are largely unquestioned. We hold truths and beliefs about...

• how work gets done
• how people should think
• how people should interact with one another
• science, technology, human nature, business, religion...

Everything we say and do is built upon our beliefs, our expectations of what works, why and how it works and beliefs concerning the application of that information we hold to be true. But, what if we challenged one or two of those beliefs? What if one or two of the beliefs we hold were... wrong?

The impact of shifting only one or two beliefs would be huge. Other beliefs, that are based on or dependent upon that first belief being true, would also be called into question. Challenging only one belief would open up avenues and opportunities of change. Shifting only one belief could lead the way to creating new approaches and ways of thinking. Certainly questioning even one belief would challenge the rigidity of our current thinking.

Often it is our existing beliefs that are standing in the way of change. We need to challenge those beliefs to open a new door of opportunity.

To begin the mental shift necessary to unlock your creativity you need to start by acknowledging that a different outcome or reality is possible. This acceptance allows the potential for a shift in thinking to occur.  Without it your mind remains closed to a different way of thinking. Allowing for just the possibility that 'different' or 'other' might exist is a critical first step.

Interestingly, even the process of thinking about how your thinking and belief structures are built begins to shifting your thinking. Opening yourself to accepting that some of your beliefs may not be absolute creates the possibility for new opportunities to take root.

If you want your people to become better at recognising opportunities, to being more creative in problem-solving, in finding different solutions, you need to begin by getting them to challenge some of their current thinking beforehand. Start by getting them to think about the structure and routines in their day that might be contributing to cementing their belief systems and stifling their creativity. Open their thinking by getting them to switch up their routines.

• take a different route to work
• sit in a different seat at team meetings
• reorganize their office layout
• do something different at lunch
• eat a new food for dinner instead of 'it's Wednesday so we have spaghetti'

Switching even small elements of your daily routine gets your brain shifting out of auto pilot and becoming more aware. After all, you can't take advantage of opportunities you don't see. Once your team's brains are primed to begin seeing possibilities and potential get the them to begin asking the critical question... What if this wasn't true?

This is the question that opens up those new doors by challenging assumptions, beliefs and truths. By questioning one belief, by asking what the impact is of it not being true, you create a domino effect of possibilities. Though all may not play out, you are likely to find some that are worth pursuing, that create the very possibility you needed.

To unlock the creative talents of both you and your team, begin by getting your collective brains off of autopilot by challenging some of your beliefs. Shifting just one belief or 'truth' may be all it takes to unlock a host of new approaches and possibilities. True change doesn't happen one person at a think but, rather, one thought at a time.

Swapping Words: A Path to Success

At the heart of this blog post is the foundational belief that the only thing standing in the way of you and your success is... you.  Unfortunately for most of us, we don`t openly recognise exactly how we are blocking ourselves from achieving all that we desire.

Most of us have clarity over everything that we want.  The challenge is that although we want more, we just don`t want to have to do more to get it. This isn't a comfortable thing for us to acknowledge though, certainly not to others.  Turning to our boss and saying that yes, we would certainly love to get a promotion - just as long as we didn't have to do anything more to get or keep it - isn't likely going to get us that promotion after all.

Instead, we create reasons to explain `why` we didn't get that promotion.  We use our reasons to explain our behaviour.  However, our reasons are simply our obstacles, our excuses. They form barriers that excuse us from taking the action that would move us forward. We can become so committed to our reasons that they become our truth, becoming embedded in our very language.

According to Professor Bernard Roth, of Stanford University, in his book The Achievement Habit: Stop Wishing, Start Doing, and Take Command of Your Life, there are 5 primary phrases that we should eliminate from our language.  Swapping these dis-empowering words for alternatives that are more positive and compelling can have an immediate impact on heightening our achievement and success rate.

Professor Roth`s Top 5 List...

• Swap out `But` with `And` - The word But is an extremely limiting word that is often misused in place of the word And.  Enough so that it even sounds correct when used that way. However, its use can shift a neutral statement into a negative one.  Consider a person who is afraid of flying and is offered an amazing internship on the other side of the country.  Saying "I want this internship BUT I'm afraid of flying" shuts down the opportunity.  Using 'but' in this way links two very separate truths, making one sound like a reason to not pursue the first. Replacing 'but' with 'and' though allows your mind to separate the truths and to therefore recognise that accepting the internship simply requires finding alternative ways to deal with the fear of flying.
• Swap out 'Have to' with 'Want to'  -  The use of the phrase 'have to' makes the circumstance sound as though it is being forced upon you, creating resistance and resentment.  Swapping it with the phrase 'want to' reminds us that we have personal choice.  We don't 'have to' take a course to upgrade our skills, we 'want to' open up future opportunities by taking it.
• Swap out 'Can't' with 'Won't'  - This is an interesting one to consider since most of us find ourselves describing what we can't do quite often.  However, the use of can't implies that something is impossible for us.  Saying that we can't drive a car implies that it is physical impossible for us to do so, while saying that we won't drive a car reflects our personal choice not to learn to drive.  You are in control of what you choose to learn to do or not.  Replacing can't with won't is empowering, putting the decision firmly back in your control.
• Swap out 'I'm afraid to' with 'I'd like to' -  Using the phrase I'm afraid to, as a reason not to pursue a course of action, acknowledges your fear, rather than your desire, giving the fear more weight.  By highlighting your fear you set your mind up to awfulize the situation, to consider all that could go wrong, creating a big roadblock.  Saying I'd like to acknowledges your desire, which is more positive and pleasant.  Generally highlighting the positive benefits of taking a course of action makes it far more compelling, increasing the likelihood that you will pursue it.
• Swap out 'Help' with 'Assist' - When we ask someone to help us, we are reducing our personal sense of empowerment.  The word 'help' is associated with helplessness creating an image of someone incapable of completing the task on their own.  However, looking for someone to assist you recognises that you have the capability on your own, if you chose to. Far more empowering.

Our language helps to shape the way that we view the world around us and, perhaps more importantly, how we view ourselves.  I'm willing to bet that you could hear yourself in one if not more of the examples given above. The five word swaps above, if made consistently, would represent enough of a positive impact on your personal perspective of you to up your Achievement and Success profile. Which ones are you going to activate and swap for your increased success?

Tip Thursday - Habits

We often have the best of intentions for creating new, positive behaviours but struggle to maintain them. One of the best ways to ensure that your new, desired behaviours get locked into habit is to set up defined 'Triggers' that help you to action that behaviour at specific times. These triggers serve as reminders that help you to activate the behaviour. Maybe you want to remember to check your schedule each morning before leaving for the office so you don't overlook meetings by being pulled off track by someone else's crisis the moment you step in the door - trigger your reminder to check by leaving your scheduler by the coffeemaker. When you go to grab your morning coffee... check the schedule. Want to learn to breathe more deeply each day? Set up some electronic reminders on your phone. When you hear the ping it's your signal to take 3-5 breaths from the diaphragm. Your triggers are most effective when they are attached to a habit that you already 'do' consistently (like having a coffee in the morning). Since this is a behaviour that is already habit your new behaviour becomes linked and anchored to this existing behaviour, helping to shift it into habit... faster!

Tip Thursday - Change

Typically we introduce change into our lives one small little step or nugget at a time. Incremental change can result in huge gains over time. However, there are times in which we experience an overnight and seemingly radical change in behaviour, often generated by the Lightning Bolt of insight. This occurs when one single idea seems to click and take root, changing the habits of a lifetime. Instead of incremental change we experience radical change. It is next to impossible to create the lightning bolt, but it carries a powerful message for us.  For it to be a harbinger of change we have to be open to the messages the lightning bolt brings with it, rather than resistant. Your lightening bolt can come disguised as a book, an illness or disease, a sudden change in a job, a relationship beginning or ending, a death, a birth... Instantaneous and life-altering potential.

Plugging your Loopholes to Success

Just as lawyers may look for contractual loopholes to get a client out of a particular deal, relationship or action so too do we create loopholes in our lives to get out of taking action.
When it comes to creating positive habits for ourselves we know far more about what we 'should' be doing to obtain our desired result than we often care to admit.  Therefore, it isn't typically a lack of knowledge that prevents us from moving forward, but often poor execution.  One barrier we all face in maintaining our positive habits is our seeming effortless ability to find and create loopholes to our success.

Loopholes are small points of justification that serve to excuse us from having to maintain a particular habit in a particular situation.  They are the 'reasons' we give ourselves to justify doing something other than what we said we would or know we should.  In essence, the loopholes we use let us off the hook.  We use these loopholes to create an exception to our desired status quo, thereby allowing us to engage in a behaviour counter to our desired positive habits.

How often have you caught yourself saying or using any of the following?

I've been so good that I deserve this.   This is a form of Moral justification, the 'cheat' behaviour serving as a reward for engaging in the positive behaviours you are attempting to solidify as habit. However, each time that we engage this loophole we are setting up the 'cheat' behaviour as the most desirable option.  Not engaging in it is then seen as deprivation and we begin to track how long we have gone without and begin building in those cheats and justifying them by how long we've been good.

I'm going to be starting tomorrow, so it's okay to do this today.  We have this fixation on creating 'starting' points that are future based, telling ourselves that the timing is better if we start tomorrow, or Monday, or the first of the year, or after the holidays.  Not only do we then delay beginning the desired actions but we serve to 'give permission' to over-indulge today because 'tomorrow' we will be course correcting.  It is not unusual for the loophole of 'tomorrow' to lead to far more excesses today than we would have allowed had we never invoked the loophole at all.

This doesn't count.  This loophole sees us creating certain loophole exceptions, times in which we are automatically excused from engaging in our positive behaviours.  This may be specific days (it's my birthday, I can do whatever I want), vacations, celebrations or even moments of illness.  Similarly we will create various 'rules' around when things don't seemingly count such as; I only ate the broken pieces of cookies and everyone knows those don't count, the glass wasn't full so it doesn't count, I'm under a lot of stress, I'm pregnant.  Each of these 'doesn't count' moments serves to undermine positive habit formation.

It would upset them if I didn't.  In this loophole we are justifying our behaviour out of a consideration for others.  In essence, we are being generous, kind and considerate.  It's a small price to pay for making others feel good... isn't it?  We then eat that piece of cake so as not to distress the baker, we don't exercise because we are too busy doing things for other people, we stock the house with junk food because we're buying it for others. We use others as the excuse for not doing what we said we were committed to doing.

I can't do this if I do that.  This is a false choice loophole, where we set one behaviour up against another, creating the implication that engaging in the first is what is preventing us from doing the second.  However, we tend to state them as absolutes, as a clear either/or decision despite the fact that they typically are not.  Usually the behaviours are not mutually exclusive at all.  "I can clean the breakfast dishes OR I can get to work on time."  "I can play with the kids OR I can workout." Creating a limited choice situation with behaviours leads you to believe that there were no other options, that you were restricted to engaging in one or the other behaviour only, whereas typically all that's needed is to replace the OR with the word AND.  "I can play with the kids AND I can workout."  "I can do the breakfast dishes AND I can get to work on time."  The wording is the only element that is holding you back from engaging in the positive habit.

Did you identify with any of the above?  Can you hear yourself falling back on using one or two of the loopholes described? Often all that is needed to break a loophole is to identify its existence.  Once we actually identify and pay attention to them they no longer sound as logical as they once did and we are able to see them simply as 'Excuses'.  We can have Reasons why we don't engage in our desired behaviours or we can have the Results we want.  Plug those loopholes to get your desired results.

Tip Thursday - Starting Clean

Let's face it, we don't always have the best habits.  Additionally, we often find them difficult to shift even if we recognise the need.  There are a number of strategies that you can use to help you transition more easily and readily to new habits.  One that is often overlooked is the Strategy of the Clean Slate. When we face life-changing moments we may find ourselves automatically making adjustments in our habits that we previously struggled with.  For example, those that have struggled with losing weight and getting fit in the past find it far easier to stick with their new regimens after having experienced a heart attack.  The attack served almost as a reset button.  Being more strategic about these Clean Slate Moment,s as they arise, allows us to take advantage of them more fully, helping us in shifting our behaviours more deliberately.  Any moment that represents a 'change' creates a Clean Slate Opportunity:  new job, new house, new relationship (or end of one), new pet... any fresh start will do!

Tip Thursday - Breaking Bad Habits

Breaking bad habits can prove difficult and frustrating.  One great tip to use in helping you gain control over some of yours is to use the Strategy of Inconvenience.  We are, in general, influenced by the ease with which we can accomplish something. The more convenient, the easier it is to do, the more likely we are to do it. Therefore, by making our bad habits more 'inconvenient' we will be far less likely to engage in them. This may be the first time ever that you can benefit from taking advantage of any inherent laziness!  To stop checking your phone all the time put it in a locked drawer. To avoid constantly hitting the snooze alarm in the morning, put your alarm across the room. What's convenient likely gets done.

Top 10 Productivity Tips

If you are like me, and like just about everyone else in the work world, you struggle with trying to get the most out of each of your days.  Instead of becoming fanatical in managing your time to the minute, focus instead on increasing your productivity.  The trick is to be as productive as possible within the time available to us.

I've compiled the following list of Top 10 Tips from top CEO's, Executives, Entrepreneurs and Clients.  All are ideas that they practice and have found to be instrumental in increasing their productivity, enabling them to make the most of each day.  Some you may be doing.  Great! However, pay attention to those you aren't and determine which would bring you the most value and implement it. Don't try to do them all, start by focusing on only one value-filled idea and make it your own.  When it becomes part of your daily routine, revisit the list for another idea to try.

Here's the list, in no particular order...

1.  Pace.  Many of us lead relatively sedentary lives.  We sit during our commute, sit at our desks during the day, sit on our commute home, during dinner and in front of the tv.  Although we may fit in some workouts during the week we can boost this each day by pacing periodically throughout the day.  Pace while brushing your teeth, while waiting for your coffee to drip through, while talking on the phone, during commercial breaks.  This small addition to your day can add up to hundreds of extra miles walked by the end of the year, but serves to increase your energy and focus each day.

2.  Plan Tomorrow Before you Wrap up Today.  Knowing what you need to accomplish, before you hit the office each morning enables you to stay focused and not be pulled off track by someone else's agenda the minute you cross that workplace threshold in the morning.

3.  Assign Times to Tasks.  Most people's to-do lists are just a running list of outstanding activities, not necessarily an accurate picture of what they expect to accomplish each day.  Assigning a timeframe to each task though ensures that you are not overscheduling your day.  Let your to-do list signify what you are actually intending to accomplish that day, using a secondary list to highlight all outstanding actions that are working their way onto your to-day list at some point.  This provides a much clearer (and mor realistic) approach to creating your daily schedule, giving you a much clearer and more positive picture of what you have achieved at the end of each day.

4.  Eat Breakfast.  Yes, I know we have all heard about breakfast being the most important meal of the day, but that doesn't necessarily mean you follow it!  Just as your body needs fuel to operate efficiently, so too does your mind.  If you want to operate at your peak level of productivity you need to ensure that both your body and mind are being given the fuel they need to operate fully for you.

5.  Top 3 - First.  Don't make the mistake of coming in to the office and engaging in 'warm-up' activities like email.  If you have planned your day before you arrive you can then use your morning to clear off your big ticket items.  Most people's minds are at their peak functioning in the morning.  You haven't yet depleted your resources so it makes sense to apply them to your biggest, more challenging tasks first.  Save the afternoon for meetings and smaller, less important activities.  Additionally, if your day gets away from you and 'run out of time' then you are leaving less important activities unfinished rather than that big project with the looming deadline.

6.  Create Productivity Rituals.  The more that you ritualize your productivity actions, the more habitual and automatic they will become.  Our minds and bodies like routines.  Go to bed at a set time, wake up at a set time, plan your day before you leave the office, routinize when you check emails (not every time it pings!), when to exercise, when to eat.  Writers train themselves for set times that they write.  It is a scheduled habit that prepares their mind to write at that scheduled time.  Creating routines that train your brain when it needs to be focused (ie:  top 3 first thing in the morning) helps ensure that it is focused in that time.  Other routines simply help you to engage in activities utilizing little brain power, saving up your energy and focus for the activities that need it.

7.  Use your Waiting Time.  We all have the inevitable times where we are forced to wait upon someone else's schedule.  A client is running late, we're standing in line somewhere, airports are notorious as are doctor's offices.  Rather than simply reading email, use this time more productively by always having podcasts and articles downloaded.  These are the types of activities we should all be doing regularly to keep abreast of new developments, to learn new ideas, but rarely find the time for.  Use your Waiting Time (and Commute Time) to continue building your knowledge base.

8.  Take a Break.  I know that this seems counter-productive but it actually isn't.  Research and studies clearly show that we are not built to maintain a high level of focus and productivity indefinitely.  We tend to operate in 90 minute intervals.  Pushing through this time without taking a break is likely only going to cause you to take more time completing a task rather than less.  Taking a small break every 90 minutes has been found to increase productivity by relaxing and re-energizing the mind/body, allowing you to be more focused and targeted when you return to your tasks.

9.  Hold Meetings to Timeframes.  Most people expect a certain amount of wasted time in meetings and are therefore never disappointed.  People tend to tune out in meetings which results in a less focused and directed meeting.  Stay focused and on task, ensuring that others do as well.  Odds are you will find that most meetings are completed in under the scheduled time rather than running late. Interrupting a meeting to announce there are only 15 minutes of the meeting left and directing the group to focus on the critical issues before the meeting is over typically results in a flurry of focus and decision making.  Training yourself, and your group, to be that focused from the start will significantly reduce the time you spend in meetings and your frustration with them!

10.  Uncover your Time Vampires.  Where do you tend to lose time?  You likely have a number of activities built into your week that inadvertently cost you time, decreasing your productivity.  Paying attention to these activities and refining and streamlining them will often free up far more of your time than you realize.  For instance, watching tv.  I'm not advocating a complete boycott, but be mindful of the time you spend.  If you tune in specifically to watch a particular show and it isn't on, or is a repeat, shut off the television rather than begin surfing.  You now have freed up time for something else.  You may also find that some of your time vampires are certain people in your life, that seem to take up far more of your time than they add value.  Be strategic about limiting your availability.  A ringing phone does not always need to be answered.  When I am engaged in something that I do not want to be taken away from I turn off all of my electronic notices.  Work to your timeframe, not someone else's.

It's Time to Take Notice!

Changes occur, whether in science, in corporations, in life, in ourselves because someone has taken notice of

something and determined to do something about it.  Think about it…

• ·         Scientists are studying and trying to understand the root causes of diseases and are therefore uncovering new ways of treating them
• ·         Technological advances have been made in great leaps because people continued to focus on and experiment with new ideas

The important question then becomes - What are you focusing on?

We have the ability to change virtually anything about ourselves and our lives, but we need to understand what we want to change, why we want to change it and how we plan to go about it.  Many people identify something they would like to have or do, with little thought given to why they aren't currently doing it.  This simple introspective step is the critical key to being successful in changing and maintaining new behaviours.  

Many of us spend our time accumulating knowledge but little time in developing our self awareness.  This lack of understanding of we are and why we choose what we do is often the biggest barrier to our getting what we want  from our lives.  It is our lack of self awareness that prevents us from developing ourselves as fully as we can, or as much as we probably should. 

“We are already the most over-informed, under-reflective people in the history of civilization” Robert Kegan, Lisa Lahey (Harvard-based Psychologists)

True development involves making changes.  It is about transforming the way we think, react and behave. It is our lack of understanding and awareness of how we currently think and behave that is our biggest hurdle to overcome. Most of us work long hours. We are constantly juggling priorities and we rarely feel that we have enough time to devote to what is most important to us. Sadly, many of us are too caught up in simply ‘keeping up’ that we have lost sight of what is truly important to us in our lives. This state of 'busyness' has led us to being less introspective and less self aware.  However, limitations always begin with a lack of awareness.  You don’t (and can't) change what you don’t know needs changing.

• What is the impact on you and on others in your life of the choices you have made?
• What would be the impact in your life of making a different choice?

These are questions we need to explore to accept that we are who and where we are in life because of the choices that we have made.  Our discomfort, dissatisfaction and dissonance is of our own making.  If we want different, we need to choose differently.

We are skilled at self deception however, which allows us to avoid discomfort, to be accepting of  (if not feel good about) what we are doing, what we believe, what we have become.  We therefore avoid taking a more introspective look because we are afraid of what we’ll see.  Learning to pay more attention to our feelings, as we are feeling them and before we start deluding ourselves about how we truly feel, allows us to make more reflective choices about how we want to live our lives. to reflect further on what was really happening when you made that decision.  

If you find yourself feeling as though you need to justify the choices you've made, especially to yourself, you likely are in self-delusion mode.  Instead, use this as a signal to reflect further on what was really taking place when you made that decision, how you really felt about it, what you might have preferred and why you opted out of choosing it.  

To heighten your awareness and to become better at Taking Notice of potential positive areas of change, consider maintaining an Awareness Journal.  Establish a couple of set times each day to use as checkpoints to determine – and record – how you are feeling in that moment. Record what you are doing and how you are truly feeling about the activity. Learning to observe our emotions helps us to learn to become more intentional in our actions.

Fully 95% of our behavior is a habit, whether through our unconscious or in direct response to external stimuli.  We are run far more by our primitive reactionary brains that we like to believe. It is through mindfully and deliberately exploring how we truly feel about the situations we are engaged in, and what our desired outcomes and preferences are, that we can gain more conscious control over our actions, driving our outcomes.  

We will not achieve anything that we are not intentionally focusing on in life.  If we want to lose weight we must focus on making choices and taking actions that will lead us to that end.  If we want to get fit, stop smoking, get a promotion, learn a new skill, or take up a new hobby we need to become more mindful about how we truly feel about the desired outcome, how we feel about the individual choices and actions that will take us there. Are you willing to do what it will take to achieve your desired outcome?

We get what we notice and pay attention to.  What are you focusing on?

The Value of Traditions

As I write this blog it is Easter Monday.  My family have come and gone, the feasting is long over. However, the gathering together of the family started me thinking about the value and meaning of the traditions we hold. There are rituals that families follow that help imbue to that family its roots and values.  Traditions may have religious significance or be more familial in focus, but they tend to mark the important events within the growth of a family.

My maternal grandparents were Ukrainian.  This meant that holidays were punctuated with specific foods and traditions that had, at their foundation, the Ukrainian culture.  For Easter, the hand painted Pysanky eggs were a traditional decoration on the table and were an art form I turned my hand to a number of times over the years (not with any significant degree of talent or success however).  This year, my young grandsons arrived for Easter dinner with a wooden version of these beautiful eggs, beginning their introduction and connection to a history and past that they have yet to understand but that is starting to take shape none the less.  Our traditions serve to pass something of meaning and value to our future generations.

Organizations too develop their own unique traditions and rituals, serving to establish their culture.  It is through these small moments that the values of the organization are communicated, that the roots take shape. It is in our moments of celebration that we define what is important to us, it is in our mourning that we give voice to what we value.  These moments shape a religion, they shape a family and they shape an organization.

I invite you to give thought to what messages you are passing on to your children with the traditions you have created and observe, the messages that will carry on to your grandchildren and their children in turn.  Are they messages of love, of peace, of understanding?  Are they values that will help them to shape positive lives, families and communities?

I invite you to give thought to what messages you are passing on to your employees with the traditions you have created and observe, the messages that will carry on to their employees and those below them.  Are they messages of love, of peace, of understanding?  Are they values that will help them to shape positive lives, families and communities?

I look at the bowl of Pysanky, gracing the center of my Easter table, and I think of the history they represent, of family I have loved and lost, of the generations of family that have come before me that have had a hand in crafted the 'me' that I am and the young men my grandsons are becoming.  I am thankful that these traditions and rituals have, at their foundation, a history rich in strength, a positive work ethic, and a willingness and drive to succeed that served my ancestors well in the past, as they serve me today, and that will continue through my grandchildren.

What are the traditions you are creating within your organization today and how will they stand the test of time?  We often get caught up in what is expedient without considering how it will test out over time.  Know that each action and step you take today is laying the foundation for what is to follow.  Take a moment today to think about the legacy that your work is creating and determine whether it is one of design.  It is never too late to begin creating the rituals that will establish the traditions of the future.
 

10 Steps to Building a Better Brand

Whether you work for yourself or work for someone else, you need to consider what your Brand is.  You
need to think about what others experience when they interact with you.  These experiences build your branded message, whether good or bad.  Generally speaking, we want others to think of us favourably.  We want their experience of us to be positive and memorable, such that they will refer opportunities to us.

In building this brand then we must not only think about 'what' we want others to experience when they interact us, but we need to consider 'what' actions we need to take to make that happen.  What are the behaviours we need to engage in that will create the desired impression?  Once we have identified them, we then need to be prepared to replicate them.  Therefore, these need to be behaviours that become our habits, that we do repeatedly.  It is through the consistency of our actions that others will come to trust in us and what we represent.

The following are 10 behaviours that I believe are critical to any branded message.  Are they part of yours?

1. Dress appropriately.  Your role may not require a suit but we're talking about the details here.  Are your clothes clean and presentable?  Does what you are wearing show that you care about who you are and are proud of what you do?  This is just as true if you are CEO of your own firm or are in the mailroom.  Dressing with care shows others that you respect your value, instilling in them the belief that they should too.
2. Smile.  Often.  Show others some warmth and engagement.  It is astounding how much this matters and how little we do it.  We get focused on the projects, the deadlines, the files on our desk and get caught up in the overwhelm, forgetting to step away (even in brief moments) and connect with those around us.  A small smile, freely given, has more impact than you know.  It shows that you came out of the bubble revolving around 'you' enough to see and be present for 'them'.  Building your brand is not about you, it's about others' experience of you.  
3. Be on time.  Yes, we know you're busy but so are we.  Being repeatedly late is selfish and self-focused.  It is disrespectful of the value of other's time and will do much to undermine your credibility.
4. Listen.  Don't just wait your turn to speak, truly listen to what others are sharing.  If you want people to value your input and listen to what you share then start by demonstrating the same to them.  Give what you want to receive.
5. Show Respect.  Demonstrate your respect for others, who they are, what they do, what they bring to the table.  The easiest way to gain respect is to show respect.  Respect shows up in the little things that you do.  Too many people pay lip service to this thinking that simply 'telling' someone that you 'respect' their opinion takes care of it.  However, saying you respect them and demonstrating your respect for them are two completely different things.  What you say will not be believed if what you do is not delivering the same message.  Showing your respect is infinitely more powerful and memorable. 
6. Compliment Others.  Recognise and reinforce the good things that others do around you.  Giving them an extra boost for the good they have already done brings even more value to the action.  People always feel more positively about those that make them feel good about themselves.  No one ever gets enough of this.  But... it must be sincere.  Handing out compliments that you don't feel will not be received favourably.  Keep them simple, honest and immediate.  
7. Keep your promises.  You want a brand that others can trust and put faith in, which means that you need to uphold your promises.  You need to be good to your word.  If you aren't sure that you can deliver something, within the budget, within the time frame, then state it upfront. Don't tell people what they want to hear, tell they what you can deliver.  Promising someone something makes them feel good in the short-term but it's the long-term experience you are after.   Failing to deliver on a promise you made is not going to build the positive brand that you're after.  Under-promising and over-delivering will always serve you well.
8. Be Kind.  Small acts of kindness show an awareness and interest in others around you.  Holding the door open for the person coming behind you, offering to carry a few packages for someone who is struggling, giving someone the nickel they are short for their coffee, offering to help instead of agreeing to help.  All are small acts of kindness that take you outside of 'it's all about me' bubble, demonstrating to others that you care.  
9. Admit your Mistakes.  We all make them.  However, we lose much when we attempt to hide or deflect them.  Own up to your mistake, apologise for it, do what you can to fix it, move on.  
10. Say Please and Thank you.  Your mom was right about these ones.  Two of the most under-used and yet most powerful words in our vocabulary.  In a world where basic politeness seems to be going out the window, showing common courtesy and manners will serve you well. Please remember yours.

If you want to Build a Better Brand, start with these 10 fundamental elements.  Use these as your foundation and build from there.  

STOP Wasting your Mental Resources

Let's face it, we all have only so much conscious thinking space and time available to us.  Stop wasting yours by engaging in unproductive thought processes like Worrying and Making Excuses.  The time you spend in these types of activities simply wastes your Mental Resources. And, to make matters worse, when you catch yourself engaged in a negative thought, such as worrying needlessly, do you let it continue?  If so, you are encouraging the brain to continue to think in these same ways in future.

Instead, you want to catch yourself engaging in these wasteful moments of thought, such as worrying needlessly, and STOP the behaviour.  Yes, tell your brain to STOP!  This is a Pattern Interrupt, which means you are deliberately interrupting a habitual pattern of behaviour.  By literally (and out loud if you're able) telling your brain to STOP, you interrupt its habitual pattern, making it more susceptible to suggestion. In that moment, tell the brain how you would prefer it to think and operate.

As your brain then modifies its thinking pattern and shifts itself to a more positive direction, don't forget to reward it for doing a good job!  Let it know that you appreciate the more positive path and direction and how much you will enjoy seeing more of the same in future.  I know this may sound vaguely silly, but our brains are us.  They like being rewarded for good and appropriate behaviour, just as we do.  Stopping the inappropriate behaviour and reinforcing the positive helps to establish a clear distinction between the two that is hard for the brain to ignore in future.

Use your Mental Resources and talents wisely by orienting them in a direction that serves you.  If you find it difficult to Stop worrying, then give the brain something to do instead.  Your brain loves solving problems so give it one to focus on, especially one that aligns with your goals.  Deliberately distract your brain from focusing on worrying elements and shift it into solving challenges that help move you into positive directions. We all have more brain power than we think, but we often squander what we have.  Stop wasting your mental resources by using them in unproductive ways and direct them to establishing more positive habits.

The Impact of the Anchoring Effect on your Success

I don't have an answer for you in today's blog posting, but I do have a question for you to consider.  First, let
me start by sharing a little about the psychological phenomenon known as the Anchoring Effect.

The Anchoring Effect is a psychological bias that serves to influence our perception of an event.  It can have very large implications for the final outcome we experience.  For example, let's take a look at a study conducted by Strack and Mussweiler (1999).  They looked to determine the relative impact of a prefacing question upon a final answer.  In this instance, they asked half a group of participants whether Mahatma Gandhi died before or after the age of 9, while the other half was asked where he died before or after the age of 140.  In each case, the answer was quite obvious for each group and each found the question to be somewhat silly in nature.  However, participants were then asked to guess the actual age of Gandhi's death.

The first group guessed an average age of 50, while the second group guessed an average age of 67. His actual age of 87 is irrelevant for the purposes of this study.  What is important is the degree of influence that the prefacing question had upon people's guesses.  In each instance the prefacing question had served to skew the results.

We see the impact of this Anchoring Effect in many other instance in our daily lives.  The sticker price of the car we are looking at will determine the final price that we settle on during our negotiations of the car price, regardless of whether that final price is truly 'fair' or not.  Our impression of the deal we got is driven by that first, anchored, sticker price.

The key is to understand that our brains are wired to use anchors (reference points) in helping us to make decisions.  Sometimes those anchors will work in our favour while, at other times, they may not. Unfortunately, the impact of these anchor points is largely impacting us unconsciously, preventing us from ensuring that they influence us in favourable versus unfavourable directions.

Now... my question.  The impact of the Anchoring Effect is well documented and is used consciously and universally by shrewd sales personnel and top negotiators.  However, my question is to consider the impact of the Anchoring Effect on your Success.  Let's look at this simply and consider only...  your salary.  How much do you think you are capable of earning per year, maximum?  Got a figure?

There's your Anchoring Effect.  I haven't done a study on this myself, but I do know that some have been done indicating that whatever your figure you will likely find that it is roughly what you end up earning.  If you believe you are capable of earning $30,000 you will find that it is ultimately what you end up earning.  If the figure is $50,000, $150,000 or even $1,000,000 the same is true.  In setting this figure in your head you have served to Anchor that belief, unconsciously influenciing all of your decisions, often in subtle ways, to 'help' you achieve that goal.  The choices you make end up working in support of that anchored belief.

In order to change your relative level of success you must therefore challenge those Anchored assumptions about what is possible for you.  In short, we Achieve what we Believe.  Change your beliefs about what is possible and you create new possibilities for yourself.  Why would we want to anchor in a limiting belief for ourselves?

Consciously we may not, however it is our unconscious mind, working in conjunction with our negative self talk, that sets the bar.  It's quite likely that if you aren't enjoying the level of success you desire, that you have set your bar too low.  It's the reason that those who win the lottery often find themselves down the road with nothing left, they are back where they started, earning what they always have.  That dollar figure was anchored in their unconscious and so they 'spent' and 'disbursed' their winnings in such a way as to return to their anchored belief.

Spend some time thinking about your definition of success for yourself and what limits you may be inadvertently creating by this definition.  Consider expanding that definition, including new possibilities and potential for yourself.  Cut loose from your existing anchors, those that may be weighing you down unnecessarily and keeping you in place, creating new anchor points that place you far ahead of where you currently are and see how that belief influences your choices, helping you to experience, have and be more in the future than your current anchors held you to in the past.

Building Habits - One Step at a Time

If you're like most people, you've likely got some bad habits kicking around that you would like to change,
or perhaps have some 'good' habits you'd like to adopt.  Possibly you have even tried stopping a bad habit in the past (or starting a new good one), only to abandon the attempt as it proved too difficult for you to achieve or stick with.  For some people, the all-or-nothing approach works.  They define the 'new' habit or system they want to adopt, replace the old ineffective one with it, and... keep doing it until it is comfortably ensconced as the new habit.  They make it seem easy.

For many of us though, it's much more of a struggle.  We want to lose weight, exercise more, stop smoking, meditate, read more, get up earlier... we have endless lists of things we'd like to do that prove almost impossible for us to make happen.  We then get demoralized by our attempts and settle in trying to 'live with' the fact that we just aren't cut out to be thinner, healthier, smoke-free...

In these cases, we need to try a different route to our end goal, not to abandon it as unobtainable.  We need to take a more counter-intuitive route.  Consider the following.  When IBM had the most dominant sales force of any organization, they did so by assigning their team the lowest sales quotas of any of their competitors.  The thinking was to give their sales force quotas that weren't daunting.  They wanted their people to feel that the goal was obtainable, not to be too intimidated to even begin.  They found that not only did their sales people pick up the phone and start calling, they worked to exceed the assigned quota.

The idea then is to start small.  Give yourself a target that is so easily achievable that you can't help but to exceed it, creating an instantaneous win.  By the time you have reached that point you have likely created enough momentum that you continue a number of steps beyond your target.  Reaching a goal is always motivational.  Exceeding your targets... more so.  It becomes self-perpetuating.

If you want to... start flossing your teeth every day, start out by planning to floss only one tooth.  Odds are... once you've flossed one, you can't help flossing them all while you're at it.  Finding the time in your morning routine to floss your teeth every day can seem like too much time that you don't have.  Flossing one tooth?  Much easier to fit into your schedule.

If you want to... begin running 3 kilometres every day, start out by planning to just run around the block.  Odds are... you'll begin to find that once you're dressed and out there, you'll run further.  Perhaps not every day to start but you'll hit days where the sun is shining, your stride feels smooth... and away you go.

If you want to... write a book, start out by planning to write 2 crummy pages a day.  Not good pages, crummy pages.  Who couldn't write two bad pages?  Odds are... once you sit down to write you'll find you hit a groove and write more, and better.

In each example, we have set a low enough target that it is not intimidating.  Often, the biggest hurdle for people to face is simply in starting.  Make the target low enough that beginning isn't an issue, that you are excited to start because you think... 'I can do that!'  Once we start the second biggest hurdle kicks in which is sticking with it.  When the goal is set too high we can easily become discouraged or demoralized.  It becomes easy to abandon our attempts, believing we'll never make it, that we aren't cut out to do it.  We quit before the new habits have a chance to take hold.  If we get our wins early in the game though, if we build it in such a way that we exceed our expectations consistently, then we have built in the positive reinforcement of our efforts.  We continue.

When we're looking to change our habits what is important is not how fast we make it happen, but that we make it happen.  If the all-in approach works for you... great!  If not, try the approach described above.  Both paths get you to the same end destination.  Which route you take to get there will only be questioned by those who want to replicate your success.

Stop Hijacking your Emotions

When your emotions get the better of you, taking control of your actions and words, you have allowed
yourself to be Hijacked.  Daniel Goleman, well known author of Emotional Intelligence, uses the term emotional hijacking in his work to describe those moments when our emotions take over control of our reason, our behaviour and our words.

For me though, the term is a bit of a misnomer because you aren't actually being taken over.  Hijacking implies that you are not in control, someone or something else is.  However, you are always in control of your responses.  You are not being hijacked by your emotions, you are deferring to them.  They are not taking control of your responses, you are giving over control to them.  This very real, and very distinct, difference means that we are capable then of choosing not to lose control, of not giving in to our emotions, of not being at the mercy of our response.  We can choose differently.

Yes people will say stuff and do stuff that drives us crazy, makes us angry, upsets us, hurts and wounds us.  But... it is our choice to either defer to that emotional response or to choose a different, better and more personally helpful response.  However, just like biting our nails, over-eating  may have become habits in our lives, so too have many of our emotional responses.  Just as we can, in fact, change our habits and gain control over our nail-biting and over-eating, so too can we change our responses to situations.  We don't have to be at the mercy of any choices we have made in the past.  If they don't serve us in moving forward then we need to open ourselves to the desire to choose differently in the future.

Here are a couple of suggestions to help you pull back your conscious control of your emotional responses...

1.  Reduce the size of your 'Board'.  In my book, Choose the Life you Really Want, I outline an exercise called the Board of Directors.  The idea here is to identify all those individuals that you have invited over your lifetime to sit at your personal board table. These individuals are those that have an influence on the decisions and choices you make, whose opinions matter to you, who you make an effort to please.  Most of us have far too large of Board that we are trying to please.  Additionally, because they hold the position of Board member they have not only the power to influence us but the power to hurt and upset us.  By strategically working to reduce the size of our Board, to contain only those who serve us today, we reduce the potential for losing control of our emotions.  If our Board is cut in half, so too should our emotional episodes.  People are on your Board to serve you and guide you in some capacity. They are not on your Board to be served.  Reduce the size of your Board to contain only those that matter for you.  Basically... remove the others and, if they no longer matter, then you will no longer mind!

2.  Keep a log.  Maintain a log of all of your emotional episodes detailing; who was involved, what was it about, how did you feel, what was your response.  Over time you will gather enough examples of these episodes to truly be able to identify your biggest triggers.  Knowing and understanding your hotspots allows you to begin proactively developing your strategies for responding differently to them in future.  These prevent you from simply allowing the old emotional 'habit' to kick in.

3.  Know your desired responses.  This becomes a key component for anyone attempting to change any behavioural habit.  Know what you want instead.  You need to clearly define what your desired response is. In order to forestall the habitual behaviour from simply kicking in, you need to have a clearly defined alternative.  Give yourself something definitive to choose in that moment of anger or hurt. This allows you to break the previous habitual pattern and begin establishing a new one.

Managing the Gap

Viktor Frankl was the author of Man's Search for Meaning, he was a Jewish Psychiatrist and a Holocaust
survivor (of Auschwitz and Dachau).  One of the greatest messages he brought with him through all that he experienced and suffered during his internment was that most who survived did so because of the way in which they chose to view and respond to the situation they faced.

Between stimulus and response there is a gap and within that gap lies all our freedom.                            Viktor Frankl

The stimulus they faced in the camps was deprivation, torture and uncertainty.  Their response often was to lose hope and to give up.  Those that chose this path, Frankl discovered, often just withered away and died.  Those that determined they had a reason to live, did so because they shifted their response.  It was in how people managed the gap between the stimulus and their response to it that, ultimately, determined survival.

When a stimulus is applied we have built-in responses to it, responses that we have conditioned over time, similar to Pavlov's dogs salivating at the sound of a bell.

• someone makes a derogatory comment about how we look in our outfit and we get upset
• a co-worker doesn't agree with an idea we brought forth and we get angry
• someone cancels dinner with us and we get depressed
• someone cuts us off on the highway and we feel rage

All of these may be conditioned responses, operating unconsciously, but they exist because we set them up to be our preferred response at some point.  Good news though, we can condition a new response!  Despite the fact that it feels like a direct and instantaneous route from the stimulus to our response (feelings) there is actually a gap in there, providing us with the opportunity to assess the stimuli and determine our responses.  

Most of the time we simply opt for easy and therefore siphon the response off to our conditioned default setting.  But we can break this pattern if the result is not desirable.  There are three key steps to creating the right foundation for the shift to occur.

1. Begin by determining that the existing behaviour is undesirable.  You have to want to change it more than you want to keep it.  If you 'like' feeling depressed, angry or hurt you will not be able to let the behaviour go until you paint yourself a picture, of the new behaviour, that is more positive and serves you more.
2. You have to believe that it is your job to change it.  Not some higher power, not your mother, not your boss, not your spouse, not the guy next door.  It's your life, your behaviour and your responsibility.  If you defer this to someone else then you will simply wait for them to 'fix' it for you, which isn't going to happen.  Only you can fix it, but you have to take responsibility for it to happen.
3. You have to believe that you can, that it is within you to control your responses and change it.  If you believe that you are at the mercy of that conditioned response (I call this the Popeye Principle: I am what I am and that's all that I am) then... you're done.  You have to believe you have all of the requisite knowledge, skill, ability and desire to make it happen.  

Master these three steps, commit to them, identify your new response and... you can change it in an instant.  Managing the Gap is not always difficult, but it is necessary if you want to change your responses.  It doesn't even matter if you 'see' a gap or not.  Trust that it's there, believe the change is within your control and step into the new behaviour/response.  

Wrong action won't bury you, but wrong reaction will.  You cannot control your outer circumstances but you can control your inner choices.   Darren Hardy (Success Magazine)