Establishing your Leadership Credibility

In order to be offered a role as a leader you must first be seen by others to BE a leader. You must
demonstrate leadership capability before others are likely to entrust a leadership role to you. However, it may sometimes feel like a chicken and egg situation - How can I demonstrate my skills as a leader if I don't have people to lead?

Think instead of establishing your credibility as a potential leader by demonstrating the key qualities and characteristics that have universal appeal in our leaders. Ask what you would look for in a leader and ensure that you demonstrate those same traits.

There is always a leap of faith in the promotional process, assumptions that are being made regarding capabilities that are extrapolated from observed behaviour. Increase your odds by being more strategic about the behaviours your audience observes in you.

When it comes to building your leadership credibility note that consistency is key. It is the behaviours that others observe over and over again that they will come to trust are representative of 'you'. Doing something once, no matter how great, could be viewed as an exception, not the rule. When it comes to your credibility and reputation it is therefore the every-day consistent behaviours that carry the greatest weight.

Take a look at what your behaviours, demonstrated each day, say about you and your leadership potential. If they are not telling the story you want told it is time to start re-writing. To help get you past any writer's block you may experience, here are 5 leadership behaviours you may want to ensure are in evidence...

1. Walk Your Talk.  Think carefully about what your expectations would be of your direct reports and ensure that you are modelling those behaviours. People are far more likely to trust in leaders who lead by example. Ensure that you are setting the example you would want others to follow.
2. Deliver on your Promises. Make your word your bond. Over-deliver, don't over-promise. Big words have no meaning in the long run if they are not backed up by the promised results. People will come to trust and believe in you if you ensure that you always live up to your agreements.  Under promising and over delivering is a sure-fired way of building customer loyalty.
3. Engage Others. Working as a lone wolf may serve to highlight your personal capabilities but it does nothing to demonstrate your ability to lead. Successful leaders can't lead from a bubble. They interact, they engage, they motivate. Show others your ability to engage and get work done through others to highlight your leadership potential.
4. Listen.  Don't make the mistake of thinking that you must be the most-heard voice around the table to be seen as a leader. A critical skill of successful leaders is their ability to listen to the opinions and expertise of those around them. Listening is a critical skill of leaders and a skill that seems to be in short supply in the work world of today. Cultivate your listening skills today to strengthen your leadership skills of tomorrow.
5. Take a stand. Leaders need to make decisions. This means that they need to be able to take a stand on issues and stay the course when needed. Decision making is not always easy but the one guarantee I have for you is that it gets no easier as you move up the ladder. The decisions get more complicated and the potential impact far greater. If no one sees you taking a stand on issues today they are not going to believe that you will be any more likely to do so in the future. 

Your credibility is built over time, which means there is no time like the present to begin building yours. Like any structure, it is built one brick or board at a time. Anything you do that supports the leadership message adds to your building, anything you do that works against it takes away. How quickly your building and message come together is dependent upon the consistency of your positive behaviours. 

As much as the list I provided above highlights behaviours we would like our leaders to demonstrate it is likely is also a list of behaviours that would serve us all. Walk our talk, live up to our agreements, be respectful of those around us, listen to what people have to say and be prepared to take a stand on things that matter. Certainly a recipe for success, but not a bad recipe for living.

Great Leaders are Great Listeners

As you move up within a company, it is pretty easy to get caught up giving voice to your own opinions. After all, they gave you leadership responsibility because you know 'stuff'. Important stuff. Stuff about how to get other stuff done.  Stuff that will help the company be more successful.  It's only right to share that knowledge with others.

However, getting caught up in sharing what we know is problematic on two key fronts.  First, it does not provide an opportunity for our people to share what they know, thereby stunting their growth and secondly, it limits us to what we know already, thereby stunting our own.

To be a successful and effective leader, it is important to realize that you can't possibly know everything, or be skilled in everything. Your role is to lead, manage and direct others who do have the knowledge and skills that you need. Therefore, a key skill for a leader to master is the ability to Listen to others.

Just 'Hearing' someone isn't enough.  Hearing refers to the sounds that someone is making, the words they are sharing.  Listening however requires you to pay attention not just to what is being shared but to the nuance of how it's being told.  Truly listening allows you to take in the subtext of the message. Effective listening means that you understand not just what the person said, but how they felt about what they shared.

One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.  Bryan M. McGill

Richard Branson has frequently attributed Listening as one of his greatest success secrets. However, truly listening isn't easy, it is work. It requires a level of focus, engagement and concentration that merely hearing what is being said does not.  If you find that you are consciously aware of what you want to say in reply or rebuttal to what someone is saying, then you are not fully listening to them. You are not listening, you are waiting to speak.

Use the following tips to help you strengthen your Listening skills...

1. Give your undivided attention.  If you are focused elsewhere then you truly aren't listening. A person is sharing far more with you than just what their words are telling you.  If you are not paying attention to their delivery then you are missing a significant portion of what they are telling you - both consciously and unconsciously
2. Maintain eye contact.  Looking at a person when they are speaking to you demonstrates interest and respect.  It also allows you to observe their non-verbal communication which is critical in understanding everything that is being shared.
3. Be mindful of your body language.  Just as you can pick up significant cues and information from someone`s delivery so too are they picking up messages from yours.  You want to appear open and accepting of their opinions which requires that your body language appear open and non-judgemental.  No deep sighs, eye rolls and turning away in your seat!
4. Don`t interject or interrupt.  Allow them to give full voice to their thoughts and opinions. Interrupting sends the message that you feel what you have to share is more important, that you`re done listening, that you`re not interested in what they have to say.
5. Ask questions to clarify - not to challenge. Your questions should be used to help enhance your understanding of their message and position, not to highlight what you view as deficiencies.
6. Verify what you`ve heard.  Summarize what you've heard to ensure that you have not misinterpreted what they've shared.  Many arguments have arisen simply because someone misinterpreted what was being shared, which could have been avoided had they verified their understanding first.
7. Encourage new thoughts. You are seeking the thoughts and opinions of others for multiple reasons, one of which should be to test and expand your understanding of the situation. You must therefore be open to listening to new approaches and solutions. Don`t shut the sharing down simply because you don`t like what you are hearing or don't agree with what is being proposed.  Being open to new ideas means inviting them in.

At it`s most basic, communication is broken down into two components; speaking and listening. Most people put their effort and focus into the speaking side of the equation, failing to recognise the effort and skill that is required to truly listen effectively to others.  Great leaders though don`t. They know how important it is to listen to those they want to follow them.  They know how much they can learn and understand about their followers if they simply listen. 

The hopes, dreams, values and motivations of people are out there waiting for someone to listen. What are your people saying?  Are you listening?

Leadership Lessons from Ants

A single ant is not particularly smart.  However, an ant colony is.  A colony can solve problems together that would have its individual members stymied.

• finding the shortest path to the best food source
• allocating workers to different tasks
• defending their territory from others

As a group (colony) they respond quickly and effectively to their environment.  No leadership is required.  Even complex behaviour can be coordinated by relatively simple interactions, using Swarm Intelligence.  Swam Theory (or swarm intelligence) is described as the collective behaviour of decentralized, self-organized systems.  In nature we see this swarm behaviour in...

• ants quickly determining the shortest route to their nearest food source
• bees deciding on a new hive location
• bird flocks diving and swirling through the air, instantaneously and seemingly effortlessly changing directions
• schools of fish avoiding the rush of a predator, even though most don't even see the attack

The study of swarms and their associated behaviours have helped shape the mathematical procedures for solving relatively complex problems like routing trucks, scheduling airlines or even guiding military drones.  Many systems we are familiar with take advantage of the collective intelligence of swarms in helping us to form our judgments and make decisions.  Checking in with Yelp results or following the racing odds to place a horse bet all rely on the input of a 'swarm'.  

Certainly decentralized problem solving works better on some problems than it does others; in particular problems that require discovery, testing, and comparing results seem to work best.  But computerized systems are helping businesses to control costs by leveraging the volume of input and data, allowing organizations to act upon complex and rapidly changing sets of data.  Southwest Airlines has used swarming principles to help them streamline their cargo operations, Telecom companies have used it to help them manage their phone call routing systems instantly and shipping companies are containing their costs by programming computers to determine trucking routes that factor in current energy and manufacturing costs, developing new routes daily.

It seems that we still have much that we can learn from Mother Nature. 

Despite the fact that swarm intelligence is all about the non-existence of formal leadership, there are still some lessons that we, as leaders, can take and apply that may enhance the strength and productivity of our teams.

• Maintain a flexible structure.  In assigning specific roles to individuals, organizations often inadvertently create silos within which teams and individuals operate.  However, swarm behaviour clearly shows us that we must allow our talent to cross the functional lines more readily.  We must allow our talent to flow in and throughout the organization if we are to continue to take advantage of the most current and best information that we have available to us.
• Pay attention to the allocation of labour.  We may have people that perform very specialized tasks for us, but all need to understand that the allocation of work is flexible.  In times of crisis or in the face of a unique problem, all must come together to solve it, requiring each to let go of the 'its not my job' mentality.  A 'nurse' bee will shift to a 'forager' when food is scarce.  It doesn't make sense to refuse to bail when the ship is sinking, simply because that wasn't the job you were hired to do.  All must understand that the survival of the 'whole' is a function of all.
• Seek Diversity.  When developing your problem solving teams work to ensure that you have a breadth of knowledge at the table.  Your best solutions may come from unexpected sources.
• Listen to everything, not just what you want to hear.  The beauty of the swarm systems is that there is a constant flow of 'new' information. As they hear a 'new' piece of information from a variety of sources they immediately shift to take advantage of it.  If you are hearing something from more than once source it is something you need to deal with, now, whether it was in your 'plan' for the year or not.  Maintain your responsiveness to stay current and competitive.

Just like an ant, you don't have to be the smartest out there to be highly effective.  Follow the lessons of the ants and take advantage of the collective of your colony to help make solid decisions.  You might not have the best solution on your own, but odds are that together, the colony will determine the best direction to take.  

5 Tips for Growing Your Leaders

It is not unusual for organizations to promote someone simply because they were 'all we had'. The thinking tends to be that either we promote from within for the company knowledge or we hire from outside to get the leadership skills we need. Promoting someone simply because they 'know' the company is based on the overriding belief  that the employee's knowledge of the company and industry are more valuable than is their inherent leadership capabilities. Unfortunately, time typically proves them wrong.

However, the choice need not come down to an either/or proposition. It means investing today for the skills you will need tomorrow. Yes, you run the risk of someone taking their skills elsewhere. Yes, it means that you may invest in developing people that never make it to those final senior roles, but they will be infinitely more productive and successful along the way, significantly more so than if you had simply 'waited' for brilliance to shine through later.

If you adhere to the belief, as I do, that leaders are made, not born, then your corporate Leadership Development strategy should support this belief.  It should also reflect the fact that leaders become great by developing and honing their skills over time, not over night due to promotion.  An organization's overall performance and success hinges on one critical element - leadership.  Any investment in developing the leadership skills and potential of your human resources is one that will provide an ongoing return.

The following are my top 5 Tips to keep in mind when it comes to growing your in-house Leaders, not just of tomorrow, but of all the tomorrows that follow.

Tip 1 - Start from the Start

Begin developing employees from their first day on the job.  You want Leadership to become a mindset, the skills to be ingrained.  Additionally, you want individuals to develop the confidence in their skills that only comes through time and practice.  The sooner in their careers that your employees begin thinking and behaving as leaders the more productive and profitable will the organization be.

Tip 2 - Train in What they Need

Not every one needs to learn the same thing.  Bringing everyone up to speed quickly means that you will waste time and energies in offering blanket one-size-fits-all crash-course training that is not going to hit the mark for everyone. Developing people over time allows you to customize the training they receive, working around their natural skills and abilities and truly building their proficiency.

Tip 3 -Promotions should not be Rewards

Promote the capability you need.  Don't use promotions simply as rewards for great performance. What makes them great at their current role may not be what is needed to be great in the step above. Don't fall prey to the 'Peter Principle' - allowing people to rise to their highest level of incompetence. Understand where people can make the best, most positive contribution, and allow them to perform there... don't promote past it.

Tip 4 - 'Next' is not a Good Leadership Strategy

Just because someone is Next-in-line to assume a more senior role does not make them the right choice.  Do not promote mediocrity.  If they are uninspired and uninspiring in their current role, don't expect more from them in an advanced role.  Mediocrity is a habit that you simply don't want to promote.

Tip 5 - Offer Life Experiences

Challenging, real life experiences are rich sources of learning and growth. Providing development opportunities, even on a small scale, allows people to stretch and strengthen their leadership muscles. These same challenges help provide breadth as well, allowing people to expand their repertoire of skills.

Yes, And Principle - An Improv Technique at Work

Improvisational comedy troops use a number of techniques to help them work together seamlessly, building instantly upon each others ideas, able to adapt readily to any changes in direction and content that are thrown at them.

One technique I invite you to steal, and use as your own, is the Yes, And Principle.  This technique provides you with a structured way of thinking and responding to other people's thoughts and ideas. All too often we barely listen to what the other party is saying, preparing instead our rebuttal. The Yes, And technique begins from a position of requiring you to have listened fully to what the other party was sharing. You can't possibly know how to respond if you haven't heard what was said.

When we follow someones comments immediately with our own, without there being any connection between their comments and our own, it can sound as though we are dismissing, disinterested in, or disagree with, their thoughts.  It can sound like we are saying 'no', serving to negate the perceived value of what they were sharing.

Beginning our response with Yes, And... serves to build upon their ideas rather than negate them. While an immediate 'no' shows you have not been open to ever exploring their idea further, the 'Yes' shows an openness to and acceptance of the idea they offered. It is supportive and open, demonstrating that you trust and value their opinion.

The 'And' then builds upon the ideas already brought forth, rather than starting over or tearing down the previous ideas.  It helps the team continue to remain open to exploring new and different ideas, all of which serve to enhance the end result.

In business, there are two areas in which the Yes, And Principle can immediately be implemented, to positive benefit...

1. Brainstorming.  This is a great tool to use in developing and building ideas because it leaves all paths open.  Closing ideas off too soon can limit the directions available to you, while keeping ideas open allows you to circle back, in ways you might not have been able to imagine previously, enabling you to create something bigger and better.  In brainstorming the 'Yes' serves to acknowledge and accept others' ideas, while the 'And' allows for an elaboration of the idea, building and extending upon it.  In Apple you might have heard...
• I think we should consider making a 'better' phone...
• Yes, and... wouldn't it be great if it took pictures...
• Yes, and... we could create games and apps that let people use it like a mini computer
• Yes, and...
2. Feedback.  When providing people with constructive criticism and feedback on their ideas, we often mistakenly jump immediately to areas that require improvement or additional thought.  In essence, we highlight the flaws in their thinking. This can end up sounding negative, which may shut the other person down.  Instead, begin with Yes, And.  The yes immediately creates a supportive dialogue, which leads the other party to remain open to listening further. It creates a powerful attitude of affirmation that helps inspire trust. You can then follow with what is good about their idea highlighting what works, before then sharing how you think it could be better, offering your suggested improvements.  

Improvisational comedians are masters at listening to and building upon others ideas.  To create a seamless and unified experience for the audience, they must be prepared to abandon their 'vision' as being the one true vision, and be prepared to accept whatever any of the other team members present, viewing it as a gift. Rather than tossing it aside, they hold onto it, adding to it with their own ideas, enabling the skit to grow and develop.  Without the openness and willingness to accept what comes before 'you' will create a skit that is disjointed and disconnected.  The power of the Yes, And technique can serve you in much the same way, allowing those around you to feel valued, while still enabling you to have an impact on the direction taken. That's what building a team is all about.  

Defining Leadership

There are seemingly as many definitions of leadership as there are Leadership gurus.  We hire for it, train for it, strive for it... all without truly having clarity over what 'it' is.  I often am told by 'Leaders' within corporations that although they may not be able to clearly articulate what Leadership is, that they 'know it when they see it'. However, this nebulous target does not prove helpful for those seeking to develop and strengthen their leadership abilities.

Turning to the dictionary for help we find this definition of Leadership...

"Act of leading a group of people or organization"

Not a particularly helpful definition when you consider that it is attempting to define a term through the use of the same term.  If I don't understand what Leadership is all about, I likely don't understand the term leading. I do, however, like the inclusion of others in the definition.

Warren Bennis once defined leadership in this way...

" Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality"

I like the thought that leaders help to clarify a vision, to help turn it into something more tangible and achievable.  Leadership is purposeful.  However, clarifying the vision is not enough.  If people don't act upon that vision then gaining clarity has not proved 'enough' in truly benefiting an organization.

So far then we know that Leadership involves others, that it doesn't happen in a vacuum.  Additionally, we have determined that Leadership is necessary for shifting us from where we are, to where we want and need to be.  Another component I feel is an integral part of true leadership is highlighted in the following quote, by Bill Bradley...

"Leadership is unlocking people's potential to become better"

The important element to consider here is that true Leaders aren't simply using the existing skills of those around them, in the achievement of a goal, but are also developing and growing them.  Leaders help others thrive.  Often, some make the mistake of assuming that Leadership is a function of position, that a formal title immediately bestows upon the wearer the mantle of Leadership.  Take the following quote from Chester Bernard for example...

"Leadership is the ability of a superior to influence the behavior of a subordinate or group and persuade them to follow a particular course of action"

True Leadership though has nothing to do with position, title or seniority within an organization.  It does, however, have a great deal to do with influence.  You can use your positional power to direct the actions of others, but they are merely doing as they have been told.  Leaders use their influence to inspire the actions of others such that they choose to follow the desired course the leader has set.  Managers will use their positional power while Leaders will influence and inspire.

In establishing our definition of Leadership we have thus determined that..

• Leadership involves others
• Leadership helps to clarify a vision, it is purposeful, with an intended outcome
• Leadership helps to unlock the potential of others, maximizing their efforts
• Leadership uses influence and not position to motivate and inspire

Taken together we are left with the following definition...

"Leadership is the art of influencing others in such a way as to maximize their efforts toward the achievement of a specific vision"

Right now... this is working for me.  It seems to include the critical elements highlighted above but... your thoughts and input are always welcome.  Share with me below your comments about the article or your favourite Leadership quote!

Five Secrets to Leadership Success

Everyone has ideas and suggestions for helping you to improve in your life, to become more successful. After all, they have experience in 'what's worked for them' to fall back on.  When it comes to leadership though,it may become more difficult to find those who have had the experience and success you seek to gain wisdom from.

In my practice I work with Leaders in all shapes and sizes, from across multiple industries, and have studied Leadership in its many guises.  The following are 5 key Secrets others have shared with me consistently, that have been instrumental in helping them to lead successfully.

1.  No One Leads Well if they Don't Want to be the Leader.  There are likely more examples in your organization of people in a Leadership role that, in their heart of hearts, really don't want to be leading others. Often they have taken the role for reasons other that truly wanting to lead...

• Some may have felt that they 'had' to take the role 
• Some because it was the 'next step' and is part of the career ladder we're all supposed to be climbing
• Some because they would feel like a 'failure' if they didn't
• Some because they wanted the money, the title and/or the office
• Some because they didn't want to report to the person who would get the role if they didn't take it

The result, of course, is that if you took the role for anything other than wanting to lead, you likely aren't going to find that your 'reason' results in your being a particularly good leader.  It is those few who lead because they truly like leading, the good and the bad of it, that are the remarkable leaders.  People talk about the need to find your 'why' in life, that if your why is strong enough it will provide the motivation you need to succeed at whatever you put in front of yourself.  This is true of leadership.  Examine your why.

2.  Learn to Listen.  A bigger title means that more people will feel compelled to listen to you.  However, there is much to learn by listening to others; their ideas, dreams and wants.  You can't know all there is to know about a situation unless you listen to the insights of others.  Show respect for those around you and listen fully and intentfully to what they have to share.

3.  Always be Fair in your Treatment of Others.  Note that I am not necessarily talking about treating people equally.  People are unique and have uniquely varying needs.  Providing equal treatment and time to each person may not address their needs, but treating their needs fairly might.  Providing equal day care to all would fail to address employees that no longer have a need for day care but would welcome assistance with the elder care issues they struggle with.  Although people may speak about the desire for equality in all things, it is actually a base of equality with a judicial application of fairness on top that creates a stand out leader.  

4.  Lead Through the Strengths of Others.  Job descriptions are deceptive, leading us to delegate according to what others 'should' be doing and not according to the strengths they bring to the table or to their potential. However, assessing the strengths of each team member, and ascertaining their undeveloped potential in other areas, gives you a better clue as to what to delegate to whom.  Assigning work according to strengths and potential not only gets better work done sooner but does more to develop your team than forcing someone to become mediocre at something they will never be great at, simply because it's on a job description.  

5.  Your Thinking Time is Critical Time.  Schedule time to 'think' or you will get caught up putting out fires all of the time.  This will feel important, but it will do nothing for moving you, your team or your organization forward.  If you want improvements, want to avoid stagnation, want to grow... then you need time to think about the situation and to actively seek out solutions.  Thinking time IS working time.  Make time for it.

My sincerest hope is that these Leadership Secrets help you to strengthen your leadership skills and potential.  However, bear in mind that I listed the first secret first because it is the key to your Leadership Success and is foundational to everything.  If you truly don't want to lead... don't be surprised by not being held up as the prime example of a Great Leader.  As with all things, we get what we want.  If you truly don't want to lead you're probably not going to be the best at it.  That said though, rekindle your interest in leading by taking time to explore what you DO like about it and use those small moments to jump start your interest.

Top 5 Tips for Improving your Emotional Intelligence

I am a student of success.  I believe that my clients, regardless of the presenting reasons they provide for hiring me as a coach, are all looking for greater success in their lives and careers.  This means that the more I learn about success factors the more I have to share with others.  My recent book is testimony to my ongoing fascination with the subject, providing you with 365 quick, actionable tips for success.

Despite my commitment to and fascination with learning, 'book' smarts are not enough to be successful.  You also need 'street' smarts to succeed, which is where Emotional Intelligence kicks in.  Studies are now showing just how critical Emotional Intelligence is to the success equation.  In fact, recent studies have found that 90% of top performers, within the organizations reviewed, are all high on the Emotional Intelligence scale.  These and other findings have led top Business Schools such as Yale to begin looking at Emotional Intelligence scores, along with high academic scores, to bolster their admittance criteria.  Their focus means it should also be your focus!

Consider Emotional Intelligence to be two key skill areas:

• the ability to express and control our emotions
• coupled with the ability to understand, interpret and respond appropriately to the emotions of others

Despite some ongoing debate on whether Emotional Intelligence is innate or can be learned, I believe strongly in the ability of each of us to improve whatever natural skills we were born with.  Indeed, much of my coaching practice enhances skills that relate to Emotional Intelligence, despite that not being the primary intent.  In order to help you to strengthen your skills and thereby heighten your success, I have pulled together what I feel are the Top 5 tips that will help you to develop your Emotional Intelligence.

1. Increase your Self Awareness.  You can't change or improve what you don't know needs changing or improvement.  If you do not regularly receive constructive feedback from others (360's are great tools for this) then you might want to explore some options for gaining some unbiased feedback regarding how others perceive you, how you interact with others, etc.  If your company doesn't offer tools such as this for their employees, or for your level, consider investing in it yourself.  Great leaders seek out the truth in how they come across to others in order to improve.  You need to do the same.
2. Strengthen and Practice your Communication Skills.  We know that our words have power but we often overlook the fact that 50 - 93% of our messages are conveyed through non-verbal channels.  The more that you strengthen your non-verbals skills, and your ability to read those of others, the greater your emotional intelligence quotient will be.
3. Develop your Listening Skills.  Yes, I know that technically Listening is part of the Communication process but in reality most people are either speaking or waiting to speak.  There is very little listening taking place.  Listening is usually an under-developed communication skill and deserves to be highlighted.  Everyone wants to be heard.  Your learning to listen more intentionally and purposefully helps you to receive more information from your dialogues with others.  Additionally, it develops the focus needed to help you recognise many of the messages coming from secondary messaging streams (like through non-verbals)
4. Show Interest in Others.  The more that you understand about the others you interact with the greater your ability to engage them positively.  Consider how valuable it would prove if you knew their interests, family situation, values, motivations.  Paying attention to others and showing interest in them, beyond what they can do for you, helps them to feel connected and valued which, in turn, makes them want to do more for you!
5. Learn to Recognise your Stress Triggers & Cues.  Let's face it, when we're stressed out we are likely to be more emotional, have a shorter fuse and be paying more attention to ourselves than to others.  In short, we tend to exercise less emotional intelligence in these stressed moments.  Improving our ability to recognise stressful moments (so we see 'em coming!) helps us to put more structure and support systems in place.  We therefore navigate the situation better, thereby reducing our stress level and leaving ourselves better able to manage our emotional response to it.  Sometimes though, stress sneaks up on us and we don't have the luxury of recognising it and planning for it.  It is therefore also useful to learn to recognise our stress cues, understanding how stress tends to manifest itself within us. For example, you may feel stress in your head primarily, resulting in your sleeping poorly, experiencing difficulty in concentrating, feeling the need to create to-do lists of your to-do lists.  If you learn to identify where you feel stress and how it typically manifests then you can use any of those cues as your early warning system, knowing that when they show up you are likely not in the best emotional state, highlighting the need to manage your emotional responses more consciously until you are under control again.

Like any muscle, you need to use a skill to strengthen it.  The 5 tips above will help you to grow and strengthen your Emotional Intelligence helping you to not only become more adept in managing and regulating your emotional responses but in perceiving and understanding the emotional cues of others.  Not only proving to be a tremendous asset in building your Success but skills that epitomize truly great Leaders.

(for more information on Emotional Intelligence you might want to check out Daniel Goleman's books below, which should be a part of any business and success library)

 

How to Avoid Push-back as you Lean In

With the relatively recent release of Sheryl Sandberg's book Lean In, much has been made of the need for women to advance their careers by learning to lean in to the meeting room table.  This requires women to be more assertive about taking on new responsibilities and opportunities, seeking challenges and taking on more risks. The problem, most posit, is that women don't Lean In enough, that they don't assert themselves and demonstrate the leaderships qualities necessary to get ahead.

As much as I agree that this is an issue for many (women have long unconsciously adopted many behaviours that help them be liked by others that also rob them of leadership presence) there is an equally large barrier for women's advancement that Sandberg fails to give equal airtime to; the Push Back that many women experience when they do Lean In.

When women behave in confident and assertive ways (as a Leader) they often find that they receive Push Back from those around them. Stereotypes still prevail, where women are seen and expected to behave as the nurturers and people-pleasers.  However, Leaning In requires women to behave in ways that may contradict these expectations, behaving in slightly more 'masculine' ways, which isn't as expected and therefore not as accepted.  Thus, they get push-back from others, pushed to once again conform to the stereotypes.

This then forces women to either:

1. Revert to stereotype, Leaning Back, not In 
2. Lean In and preparing for the need to confront the Push Back that will follow, challenging stereotypes and the associated systemic discrimination it creates
3. Learn to walk a tight-rope, balancing precariously between being seen as 'too' Feminine, and thus not strong enough to assume Leadership positions, or 'too' Masculine, and thus get labelled a 'bitch' and ostracized from Leadership roles.

If your goal is to get ahead, then option one does not do it for you since it merely keeps you where you're at. Option two, though a worthy cause, is more likely to help advance the careers of those that follow than it is to provide you with more opportunities.  This is not to say this is not a worthy fight but many of us lack the energy or desire to head off to battle each day.  Option three then is our best bet for getting ahead.  Once we're 'in' power, we can then work to change the systems that kept us down.

The challenge with balancing on that tight-rope successfully is that it is hard.  There are no guide-lines or guide-ropes to help us to remain on our precarious perch.  What works for one woman may not work equally well for another because each of us is unique.  Our physical structure, size, voice and personality all influence how others will see us and therefore shape the behaviours and approaches we need to maintain to allow us to Lean In without the Push Back.  

However, there are some key strategies that all women can adopt that will help as they step out on that tight-rope and begin to navigate their way across.

• Don't confuse Assertiveness with Aggression.  While both may serve to clearly state your position, aggressive behaviour violates the rights/interests/position of others, while assertiveness does not.  Aggressiveness is stereotypically accepted as more of a masculine trait and will therefore tip you off that tightrope while assertiveness helps you to assume that leadership role without alienating others along the way.
• Adopt Gender Neutral management and leadership basics such as Collaboration.  Although many may think of Collaborative behaviour as more feminine in style, don't mistake it for a bid to make everyone your friend.  Collaborative behaviour is inclusive, it seeks to involve others, but it doesn't preclude you from making the final decision.  Collaboration is not Consensus.  You can be both collaborative and decisive.
• Don't Uptalk.  If you want to be seen as a Leader you must sound like a Leader.  Therefore, when giving voice to your thoughts and recommendations you must be able to share them in a straight-forward manner.  Injecting an upward inflection into your voice while delivering your thoughts simply serves to make you sound hesitant and unsure.  You'll sound 'nicer' but you won't sound like the leader you desire.  
• Network with like-minded women.  Learn from the experiences of others, swap strategies, pick up new tips and techniques to try for yourself.  Others are going through the same struggles as you - don't feel that you need to face them on your own!  
• Remind people why you're here and what you bring to the table.  Women can get caught up in making friends and making nice and forget that they need to be constantly positioning themselves. Sitting back and allowing your work to speak for you is not enough to give you the visibility that you need to get ahead.  You need not take on the braggart role, but you do need to learn how to brag. There is a continuum of bragging behaviour at your disposal.  Too far on the left tips you off the tightrope onto the feminine side of behaviour while too far on the right skews you too far to the masculine side.  Adopting a few more self promotional strategies. that are comfortable for you. will help you to stay a little more balanced and help you to gain greater visibility.  

Leaning In is all about getting ahead while the Push-back of others is all about keeping you down.  Learning to navigate the tight-rope between masculine and feminine behaviours is all about getting you ahead without activating anyone's stereotypes.  Leaning In without Push-back from others helps keep you from giving up and pushing back from the table.  After all, you have to be able to stay at the table to one day run the table.
  

Leadership Tool Essential - Let's

To get anywhere in life, you need to challenge yourself.

• to be 'better' at a sport by running faster, jumping higher
• to speak in a way that is compelling and memorable
• to write a play or music that makes someone feel

First we must learn to challenge ourselves, to push ourselves beyond our existing capabilities.  Even incremental changes shift and change us, creating growth.  

Why not challenge others to do the same?  

As Leaders you are called upon all of the time to introduce change to the organization, which is typically met with resistance.  Many try to drive change by outlining a vision, pointing a finger at it and saying... Now go for it.  Make it happen.   This will prove effective only for those that 'get' the vision, that found it compelling. You may feel that these are your self starters, but they are likely those for whom the vision clearly supports their Personal Why.

Others may go a step further by defining a change and handing over a complete step-by-step plan for achieving it, along with the admonition to 'Do it'.  For some this also works.  The goal alone was insufficient, they needed the path.

Each of these techniques is effective some of the time, with some of the people.  Outlining the Vision + Path may capture more people than the vision alone, but you have still not managed to include everyone.  You are still leaving some behind, standing at the entrance to the path.

To truly lead a change, to ensure that all are compelled and willing to follow, you need to add one final step. Start by giving them the vision and goal.  They need a target.  Make it as compelling as you can.  Then, outline the key steps to moving forward.  There are always multiple paths to follow, some of which are significantly better than others.  Ideally, you want your people to walk the same path.  Give it to them or create it together, just make sure it's clearly marked.

To draw in those that are hesitant to step onto the path you've created though, you need to stand beside them, point to the path and say... Let's.

Let's begin

Let's walk the path together

Let's make it happen, you and I

Let's.  So simple yet so inspiring.  Contained within that simple word is the strength and power of the team.  No longer are people left to navigate the path alone, they are now part of a group making things happen, together. 

Their individual insecurities, vulnerabilities and fears can be supported through the strengths and actions of others.   They can take turns being weak and being strong, in having questions and in having the answers, in leading and in following.

Let's - sets us on the path together.

You want to create change?

You want to inspire others to follow?

Then stop directing individuals with the directive 'You Change'.  Make a true difference by gathering people close and saying 'Let's Change'.  

 

The 4 Secrets of Success

Over my decades of working with senior executives and leaders I have come to recognise that much of success comes down to four small little secrets which, if done consistently and done well, can propel you to the 'top'... however you define it. Successful leaders may call them by different names but the actions all seem to boil down to the need to do these four things.

1.  Show up.  No, this doesn't just refer to the need to actually go to work, though being punctual to work, to meetings, is a must.  Rather, I am referring to the need to be fully present in all that you do.  It doesn't matter what you are doing, you must give it your all and then 1% more.  Successful people give whatever they are doing their full attention, they don't short-change anything.  If you want to get ahead and succeed, you have to be present to do it.  Show up - in body, mind and spirit.

2.  Step up.  You are responsible for your life, your choices, your work, your deadlines, your accomplishments.  Step up and accept the responsibility for it.  Successful people don't make excuses and they don't look to pass the buck elsewhere.  They own the good and the bad, laying claim to both their successes and their failures.  This is where the true growth and learning occur.

3.  Stand up.  You've got to be willing to take a stand on issues, to let people know your position.  Those who try to appease everyone by doing and supporting everything, end up standing for nothing.  Your reputation and brand will be built by the values you uphold and the actions you take.  What are you remembered for?

4.  Speak up.  Give voice to your thoughts, your accomplishments, your goals.  Let others know who you are, what you've done and where you're headed.  Many people fail to move up simply because others don't know what they are capable of or what their interests are.  Speak up also on behalf of those who can't; the underdog, underprivileged, injustice. Many of the greatest leaders and greatest success stories started by finding their voice and then donating it to others.

Take a moment to think how well you are currently living to each of these success tips and how you might work to improve upon each.  Four 'little' steps that can make the world of difference to where you manage to take your life and career. What would be the impact to yours if you simply made a point to...

• Show Up
• Step Up
• Stand Up
• Speak Up

The 4 Secrets of Success

Over my decades of working with senior executives and leaders I have come to recognise that much of success comes down to four small little secrets which, if done consistently and done well, can propel you to the 'top'... however you define it. Successful leaders may call them by different names but the actions all seem to boil down to the need to do these four things.

1.  Show up.  No, this doesn't just refer to the need to actually go to work, though being punctual to work, to meetings, is a must.  Rather, I am referring to the need to be fully present in all that you do.  It doesn't matter what you are doing, you must give it your all and then 1% more.  Successful people give whatever they are doing their full attention, they don't short-change anything.  If you want to get ahead and succeed, you have to be present to do it.  Show up - in body, mind and spirit.

2.  Step up.  You are responsible for your life, your choices, your work, your deadlines, your accomplishments.  Step up and accept the responsibility for it.  Successful people don't make excuses and they don't look to pass the buck elsewhere.  They own the good and the bad, laying claim to both their successes and their failures.  This is where the true growth and learning occur.

3.  Stand up.  You've got to be willing to take a stand on issues, to let people know your position.  Those who try to appease everyone by doing and supporting everything, end up standing for nothing.  Your reputation and brand will be built by the values you uphold and the actions you take.  What are you remembered for?

4.  Speak up.  Give voice to your thoughts, your accomplishments, your goals.  Let others know who you are, what you've done and where you're headed.  Many people fail to move up simply because others don't know what they are capable of or what their interests are.  Speak up also on behalf of those who can't; the underdog, underprivileged, injustice. Many of the greatest leaders and greatest success stories started by finding their voice and then donating it to others.

Take a moment to think how well you are currently living to each of these success tips and how you might work to improve upon each.  Four 'little' steps that can make the world of difference to where you manage to take your life and career. What would be the impact to yours if you simply made a point to...

• Show Up
• Step Up
• Stand Up
• Speak Up

Latest Research Updates...

You know that I read and research constantly, much of which I share with you whether through training, coaching or my various blogs and articles.  The following interesting little tidbits aren't 'big' enough findings for a full posting but I found them interesting so I'm sharing...

• In a recent study (2013, Iris K. Schneider et al), determined that when we are undecided about two choices, we will tend to shift our weight from side to side.  Once we have reached a decision we hold our weight more firmly, reducing our side to side movements.  Subtle cues to watch for when two or more ideas are being presented to someone for consideration.  When they are still weighing the pros and cons you are likely to see physical tells (swaying/shifting) that indicate that they are still working through the options.  If and when those movements stop, you know they have reached a decision, regardless of whether they try to tell you that they are 'still deciding'.
• Professor Jackie Andrade, University of Plymouth, found that doodling improved memory by almost 30% over non-doodlers.  In a boring meeting?  Concerned that you won't remember important points?  Start doodling!
• Money is always an interesting subject.  Studies have shown that we are much more likely to spend when we have larger denominational notes than small.  Meaning...  we will spend a $20 bill faster than four $5 bills.  And... a different study shows that we are much more likely to spend 'dirty' worn money faster than crisp new bills.  Not sure of any specific relevance for leadership, just interesting!
• We all feel like there is not enough time in our day to get everything done.  Research was therefore conducted to determine how we could feel less stressed about this, how we could feel that we have enough or more time.  The surprising finding was that when people gave up some of their free-time to help out others, they were left feeling like they had more time available for themselves. Weird!   Here's how the  study's authors explain it...  "...spending time on others makes people feel like they have done a lot with their time – and the more they feel they have done with their time, the more time they will feel they have."  
• If you want to improve your memory, psychologists have found that taking breaks aids with consolidating the information into your memory systems.  In studies where participants take a little rest break after learning something, their recall and memory of that information is enhanced.  
• Simply telling people how luxurious or expensive the food you're serving is tends to enhance their experience and enjoyment.  (good to know when the meatloaf is a little overdone!)
• The Hawthorne Effect is well documented - people's behaviours change when they feel they are being observed.  Have an 'honour' payment system at work for coffee?  Hang a poster or picture somewhere in the room that has a person's face with their eyes clearly visible...  more people pay for their coffee because they 'feel' watched.  We tend to be more 'honest' under these circumstances.
• We know that self-control is not limitless.  We all have days that tax our willpower and deplete our resources.  Additionally, we know that self-control is a strong skill in highly successful people.  How to replenish our self-control when it's in short supply?  A recent study shows that just the mere thought of money will help.  Not clear on the reasons as to why this might be but in this case, it's enough to know it works!

Public Speaking: A True Super Power

All right, so being able to speak in public may not seem to be as 'cool' as being able to leap over tall buildings in a single bound, lifting a train or having x-ray vision but, really, how often do you need any of those skills in your current job?  The ability to speak in public though... that comes up all the time!

It doesn't matter what your role, the responsibilities, the level, the market, or the organization, being able to speak effectively in public settings will serve you well every time.  In the world of work, of both today and tomorrow, learning the skills to communicate with others clearly, concisely and effectively are non-negotiable.  In order to get ahead in your chosen profession, you will be unable to take your career as far if you are not able to share your thoughts and ideas in front of a group.

According to research conducted by the Harvard Business Review, the number one skill that can rocket you to the top of your profession is the ability to speak professionally and persuasively, especially to groups. Public speaking was number one!  Further research has shown that because so many of us actually fear speaking in front of others, we tend to admire those that do it well. Additionally, we tend to ascribe other positive traits to them as well, simply because they can speak well in public.  We will assume that they are more intelligent, credible and we often begin to feel they are better looking than we might have otherwise.  Phew!

Public Speaking truly is a Super Power!  There is significant positive fall-out, just through the demonstration of this one skill.  The good news is, of course, that we can all become more effective at speaking in public.  The bad news, for many, is that we all need to.  No exceptions, no excuses!

Here are some quick tips to help you develop your Speaking Super Powers!

• Practice.  Take as many opportunities as you can to practice speaking in front of people.  When in training sessions volunteer to share the group's discussion results, emcee a friend's wedding, teach a lesson to your church group, join Toastmasters, stand up and deliver short messages to your video camera.  Anything that gets you up and on your feet delivering.  Develop your comfort by strengthening your habits.  Letting your body and mind know they have been there before is one of the easiest ways to develop comfort.  If we've done it before our mind believes we can do it again.  Play off on this by getting in lots of delivery time before it really 'counts'!
• Breathe.  When we get nervous we tend to breathe more shallowly, preventing us from taking in as much oxygen as we do in a more relaxed state.  This causes our body to go into stress, creating leakage through our body and voice that signals to our audience that we're uncomfortable.  (shaking hands, sweats, squeaking or quavering voice...)  Breathe deeply and through the diaphragm to maintain the body's oxygen level.  If the body doesn't feel stressed it's likely the mind will calm down too.
• Know Your Stuff.  There is no replacement for not having the content to back you up.  It doesn't matter how good you look up there if you ultimately have nothing to say.  Know your content and what you want to share.  This seems like a no-brainer but you'd be surprised at how many people don't think this through and believe that just 'winging' a presentation will work for them.  Don't memorize your content and don't read it, KNOW it.  Know the key points and simply walk through them, one by one.  
• How do you want your audience to feel?  Don't just focus on the content of your message.  I know that everyone says content is king, but they are really referring to fact that you have to 'have' content.  To sell it you have to move your audience.  They will remember how you made them feel, long after they have forgotten what it was that you said.  Moving them is memorable.  
• Practice.  Yep, I said this before but... I'm saying it again because you need to do it again. Walking through your content once won't cut it.  Stand up and say it again and then again.  You have to practice it until it feels comfortable to you.  Your speech should fit you like your favourite pair of jeans.  That's the point where you can now begin to stretch beyond it to really reach not just the minds of your audience but their hearts.  If the fit is stiff, the delivery will be stiff. 

Oh, and, one final thought... practice it again!

Investing in... You!

If you want to be wealthy and happy, learn this lesson well:  Learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job.      Jim Rohn

Many people in business make the mistake of believing that the company will take care of their development.   After all, it's part of that yearly 'plan', part of the 'review' process isn't it?  Consider though, whose best interests does the organization truly have in mind?  Are they looking to your growth or their needs?  Don't think for a second that they are always synonymous.  Consider also the commitment the company has to your growth when training budgets are being cut or what happens to your development when the money has been spent. That's it for you for the year? No more learning?

Don't leave your growth and development in the hands of someone who in no way could possibly care about you and your future the way that you should.  All too often I have clients who say that they aren't personally going to pay for a course because that's the company's responsibility.  If 'they' aren't paying for it then 'they' aren't going to benefit from it.  But who really benefits?  Warren Buffet puts it this way...

Generally speaking, investing in yourself is the best thing you can do.  Anything that improves your own talents; nobody can tax it or take it away from you.  They can run up huge deficits and the dollar can become worth far less.  You can have all kinds of things happen.  But if you've got talent yourself, and you've maximized your talent, you've got a tremendous asset that can return ten-fold.

Investing in yourself is the single most important investment that you can make in your lifetime.  If you want to have 'more' in your life than you currently have, in any facet of your life, you have to become more than you currently are.  We shouldn't consider that we are students only when at school.  Life is the biggest school that there is and we are therefore all students as long as we continue to breathel.  Start living your life as a student, become that life-long learner.

Focusing on your development means that you are constantly evolving and creating opportunities for yourself.  Many of those opportunities are ones that you likely wouldn't have envisioned for yourself previously because you didn't 'know' what was possible.  Uncover your possibilities by using some of the following suggestions to contribute to your growth.

• Take a course.  On line, in person... it doesn't matter.  What's something that you have always been interested in?  Go out and take a course in it, learn about it.  There are tons of free courses offered by many universities, even MIT offers free open courseware.  How cool would it be to take a course from MIT?
• Read a book.  You want to play with the big-wigs around the senior table?  Read what they are reading.  Learn the latest buzz words and theories.  Bring something new to the table by getting a jump start on something still in their 'to be read' pile!  Look for new ideas that could be applied to your area. I typically have 3 books on the go at once and am never without at least one in my briefcase (more if I have my ipad with me!).  If I find myself with downtime because a client is running late I spend time with a book rather than checking on the latest facebook post.  
• Follow blogs.     Many subject matter experts are writing regular blogs where you can follow some of their latest thoughts.  Consider subscribing to their feeds or set yourself up on something like alltop.com where you can key in what your interests are and what blogs you'd like to follow.  They compile it for you on your personalized home page, making it a one-stop resource.  Add and delete as your interests and focus shifts.  When you find yourself with a moment or two, check out some of the titles, and read a post that hits home.  Not sure what or who you'd like to follow?  Give Stumbleupon a try and see what you come across.  Follow or bookmark sites that interest you.
• Create learning files.  I love using a 'shared' system like dropbox for this.  Whenever I am browsing for one thing on the internet, I inevitably stumble across an article, website, resource relating to something else.  Instead of getting pulled off track or losing out on the new information, I save it to my dropbox file so that I can return to it when I have a moment.  This means that whenever I find myself with a moment or two (waiting for appointments is always a popular one!) I access that file from any device and catch up on items I might have missed otherwise.  Sometimes important and informative, sometimes merely interesting, they often come together down the road in unexpected ways.
• Listen to books.  Many people don't like reading themselves, in which case audio books are a great alternative.  I love reading, but I listen to books in my car all the time.  If you spend time in a commute, spend time in the gym or on long runs, want to listen to something while you work on finishing that car engine or jigsaw puzzle, consider listening to a book, lecture or training program rather than music.  Use the time you have to learn something you might need.
• Check out TED talks.  If you haven't already you should.  Here you can listen to talks from the best of the best.  If you only have 5 minutes, do a search on 5 minute talks.  Search by topic, see what's new.  I have watched some talks on topics that I didn't think I'd be interested in only to be fascinated by new science, new technology, new research.  A great resource to access and a great platform for learning.  Or give youtube a closer look.  It is much more than simply a place to watch viral videos or talking animals.  

 Become what you need yourself to be to achieve what you want.  It's that simple and that challenging.  It does require you to start though.  Do one thing each day to move you forward.  Reading this was a good place to start.

Building a Case for... Ambiverts

What Personality type makes the best sales person?  Most people will quickly respond with - Extroverts.  Indeed, this is typically what most hiring professionals will look for when hiring for 'sales' specific roles.  However, there is actually no direct evidence supporting the assumption that Extroverts make the best sales people.

Consider now the fact that Leaders sell.  It is a primary function of the Leader role, regardless of what the job description actually calls for.  They are constantly selling ideas, concepts and action plans to employees, suppliers, customers, clients, funders, board members, stockholders...  Likely it is their number one job function and responsibility.  If we believe the assumption above, that Extroverts make the best Sales Professionals then, by extension, it would follow that the best Leaders are Extroverts.

In new research, from Adam Grant, Professor at the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Management (to be published in the Journal of Psychological Science later this year), it was determined that true Extroverts fared little better in sales success than did true Introverts.  Surprising results given the common expectation concerning the extroversion/sales connection.

Grant used a 7 point scale to assess the degree of each participants Introversion (1 and 2) to Extroversion (6 and 7).  He assessed a group of software sales personnel over a period of 3 months.  His findings?  Introverts fared the worst, averaging $120/hr in sales.  However, the true Extroverts did little better, averaging about $125/hr in sales.  Most interesting was the finding that the Top Performers were those in the middle (4/5/6), the Ambiverts, those individuals that are neither extremely introverted or extroverted.  The absolute top performers were those that were a '4' on the Introversion/Extroversion scale, selling roughly $208/hr.  A big leap ahead of everyone else.

We've heard a lot over the years about Introverts versus Extroverts, but have paid little direct attention to the value of those in the middle, those individuals that carry traits of both.  True Extroverts often focus more on themselves, talking more than they listen, which can be a strong disadvantage for a leader.  Their personalities can seem like a force onto themselves, often overwhelming those around them.

Introverts, on the other hand, have challenges of their own in leading others.  They prefer to process their own thoughts before sharing, which can make them appear hesitant to speak their mind, share direction or to close the deal.  Employees often feel that they are not as well-informed as they would like or need to be.

Enter the Ambiverts.  They tend to strike the right balance between the other two styles.  They can speak smoothly and convincingly when needed but are also capable of listening to and including others.  They know when the Extrovert's initiative and gregariousness is needed and when the Introvert's quiet confidence and thoughtfulness is called for - shifting comfortably and seamlessly between the two.

The truly good news coming out of this finding is that the majority of us are Ambiverts.  Most of us sit somewhere in the 3 to 6 range used by Grant in his study, making more of us better at Leading others than we might previously have thought.  The downside of course is that we no longer can hide behind the belief that we are not 'extroverted' enough to lead.  As it turns out, sitting somewhere in the middle of this scale is more than enough for leadership success.

Your Daily Plan for Success

I'm sure that you have a plan for your day; a to-do list, a schedule of appointments.  You may use a different system than I do (phone, computer, notebook) but you likely have a list of what needs to get done today and may already have things listed for tomorrow and subsequent days.

Have you ever wondered about what your daily agenda, your daily schedule of events, has to say about you?  John C. Maxwell, author of over 60 books on Leadership, says that...

The secret of your success is determined by your daily agenda

He believes that simply looking at how you structure and organize a 'typical' day, how you build your daily agenda, will provide him with firm insight into how successful you will ultimately become in life.

Let's face it.  Most of us merely jot down those items that we feel 'must' get done that day - those urgent and necessary activities.  However, this is just planning to 'keep up'.  In so doing, we are seriously underestimating the value and power of 'today'.  We leave for 'tomorrow' any thought or plan of our own growth and development.  

Instead, you need to have your own Personal Growth Plan. You need to have a vision for yourself of your development.  This is not something to leave to your boss, they will have their own agenda.  This is your agenda for you.  This is you crafting your life, the direction it will take, the role you'll play, the person you will become.  When you have created a strong enough vision for yourself, you need to build action steps into your plan.

Each day your agenda needs to include at least one thing you do to grow and develop.  One thing.  This is not something to be put off, this is not something to be deferred to the weekend.  Each day you need to take one step, however small, toward your growth.  Think of this as making a daily deposit into your bank account.  This is you investing in you.  Each day that you fail to make that contribution means that you will have that much less to work with at the end of the year and the longer you will have to 'save' until you can reap the rewards.

Consider how often we short-change ourselves.  Our daily agendas get packed full of action steps we feel we 'must' take in order to move other people's agendas forward.  Look at your list.  How much of your day is currently taken up with doing for others?  How many scheduled items on your list are you doing for your benefit?

Add one thing.  One thing each day, every day, that aids you in your Growth Plan.

No compromises.  No excuses.  If you want success in your life it begins...  today.  What's your one thing?

The Mythology of You

We live through events.
We replay those events in our minds.
We talk about our experience of those events.
We remember the events we share with others.

Sounds like a pretty clear cycle and yet, it is this cycle that leads us to create our own Mythology, to shape our personal story.  We all experience 'things' throughout our lives.  Large and small, these experiences help to shape and define us.  But... is it really the 'actual' event shaping us or our interpretation of that event?

We replay events over and over in our minds. The more important they were to us in some way, the more frequent the replaying.  Much like a favourite movie that we pull off the shelf to watch, though we've already seen it a dozen times or more.  With every replay and retelling of our stories though, we reshape the events, morphing our memories into our 'version', the one that fits best for us.  In doing so, we have created our own mythology, our own story of us.

I know that it feels 'real', that it feels as though we are merely telling it 'like it was', but if we were able to put a film-version of the events as they occurred side by side with a film version of our story of it, there would be distinct and clear differences between the reality and our reality.  This is true for everyone.  It's one of the reasons why witnesses to events are so unreliable and why multiple witnesses are often needed to gain a clear picture of what truly occurred.  The actual story needs to get pieced together.

What is important for each of us is not to try to avoid all embellishment, to strip our memories down to the bare bones of 'reality' or 'truth' but, rather, to come to understand the reshaping.  The way in which we morph our memories tells a great deal about us, our needs and what is important to us.

Understanding our mythology, and that of others, is more important than uncovering the 'truth' of the event.  It is enough that it has become our (or their) truth.  Our mythology helps to shape and define our future choices.  It's not important whether it's accurate, only that it's our story, whether we are highlighted as the victim or the hero, the antagonist or protagonist, the come-from-behind Queen, the Lover, the Leader, the Warrior or Peacemaker.  Our Mythology has served to shape the person we are and will continue to mould the person we will become.  We are now as we once imagined ourselves to be.

Don't like the ending that is likely to play out for you?  Start rewriting your story.  As the author of your Mythology, you have control over the telling of your story.  If yours isn't heading toward the ending you desire, get out your metaphorical eraser and get started on the rewrite.

Despite our shared conception that we are rational actors making intelligent decisions based on an accurate view of the world and ourselves, precisely the opposite is true.       Seth Godin

Why Good-Enough is Good for You

There are those for whom making a decision becomes analogous to running a marathon.  It is not something that you can just simply step out and do, it involves endless preparation, training, planning and research.  For these individuals, known as Maximizers, making a decision requires work and effort.  They want to make the best decision they possibly can, about anything, and that means often spending months researching and learning as much about the item as possible to make as informed a decision as possible.

Take my friend Mary for example.  She wanted to purchase a new couch.  For some of us, this requires measuring the space we have available, going to the store, seeing something we like, checking it will fit and... buying it.  For Mary though, this wouldn't be enough.  Before even beginning to 'shop', Mary begins her research.  By the time she is done, she knows all about how a 'good' couch should be constructed.  Not just whether ropes or springs are better but what kind of ropes, what kind of springs, what kind of batting or foam, what the density is and on and on.  Certainly all of this research takes place prior to making the purchase but continues after the actual purchase is made to ensure that she did, indeed, make the best decision.

This level of investigation makes Mary an 'expert' in many different product areas.  If you're looking for a new couch you might just want to tap into her knowledge-base prior to setting out.  However, it can turn seemingly small decisions into larger, stress-making, time-gobbling activities, leaving her with little energy or time to spend engaging with others in more positive or 'fun' ways.

On the other side of the decision equation we have Satisficers (think of Satisfying + Sufficing). These are individuals that make Good-Enough decisions... and then move on.  They do not look at each decision requiring a huge investment of their time or life.  They decide and move on. This does not mean that they trivialize important decisions but, rather, that they don't give the relatively trivial more importance than it merits.

In general, you will find that Maximizers tend to be unhappy with the choices they make in life, feeling always that it could have been 'better' somehow, if they had only had more time, more information.  Additionally, they are more prone to suffer from Decision Fatigue, the mental/emotional/physical drain we feel when we have been faced with too many decisions.  We all suffer from this periodically, Maximizers much more frequently.  The problem with Decision Fatigue though is that researchers have found that when we are suffering from it our willpower is at 'low' point, leaving us more susceptible to making poor choices like over-eating or over-spending.

Satisficing allows us to make faster, easier decisions that do not deplete our energy, thus conserving those willpower units for a time later in the day that we may need them.  For a Maximizer, learning to switch to Satisficing mode, they need to ask themselves, early in the decision-making process, What is the cost to me of making a bad decision here?

When the perceived cost is high and is important to your life, goals, family... go for broke.  Here the costs to you and your family have much bigger ramifications and therefore they are worth your investment of time.  Give reign to your Maximizing needs and assure yourself of making the best decision you could.  You'll sleep easier when you do.

Most of our decisions though involve a relatively low cost and therefore lend themselves well to going for Good-Enough.  The paint colour for the bedroom, which Bran cereal to try, a play to see.  When the cost of making a bad decision is low there is no true advantage in spending too much energy on trying to ensure that you make the 'best' decision, Satisficing is the way to go.  An investment of any more time than what is required by Satisficing will not net you a more positive result or bigger gain. Save your energy and willpower units for something else.

As research is now showing us, not only are there times where Good-Enough truly is Good-enough, we're finding that learning to practice the principle may also be a healthier option,  proving that Good-Enough is also Good for you.

Out on a Limb

We do our best work when we are out on a limb.  No, not 'good' work, not 'gee I met deadline and
budget' work, not 'that'll keep me employed and might give me a raise at the end of the year work', I mean our very BEST work, our 'This will change the face of how people see me, buy stuff, think about stuff' work.

When we are out on a limb we are leading.  We hope others will see our vision and follow, but we start by being out there on our own making change.  We are pushing, pulling, stretching, transforming, challenging  the status quo in some way, and that requires us to take a risk.  We risk being mocked and ridiculed.  We risk being seen as wrong.  We risk being out on that limb alone... for a very long time... before others 'get' it and begin to follow us and we risk being out there alone with no one following us... ever.  

The problem, of course, is that it is damn uncomfortable out there on that limb.  Fear of falling (read... FAILING) keeps us playing it safe hugging the tree (read... maintaining the STATUS QUO).  Fear can make us give in to the pressures of others around us to conform.  Worrying about what our audience will think and say about what we're doing though will keep us tree-hugging forever.  In order to step away from the tree, and out on that limb, we have to be willing to let go of the thought that not everyone will 'get it', that not everyone will 'like it', that not everyone will 'buy it'.  And worse, of course, is the personalization of  'it', that people won't get us, like us, buy into us.

The sad truth though is that too many of us spend our lives hugging the tree and never step out to discover what we are capable of.  Our fears keep us clinging to the comfort and safety of the trunk and we fail to stretch ourselves, showing the world our very best selves.  

Where would we be if many before us had not gone out on a limb?

• Christopher Columbus
• Charles Darwin
• Albert Einstein
• Benjamin Franklin

And consider the impact of Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerburg or, even... Sir Thomas Crapper (inventor of the flush toilet... seriously!)

The limb you step out on need not be one that will change the face of the world, but if you are taking a risk on something it will mean change of some kind, even if on a smaller scale, even if only of one... you.  Too nervous to try?  Test it out by going out on a limb a little closer to the ground first, one which has less of a fall.  There's less of a risk, less of a change involved, but it is still a step forward, still a step toward strengthening your balancing skills - preparing you for those limbs higher up.

I'm implementing some changes this year, in my business and personal life, that have me precariously perched on a limb that seems pretty high up there to me.  It represents big challenges and risks but I believe it's the next step for me and for my growth.  I hope that you will join me out there at some point, that you follow me as I make those steps and changes, but I am stepping out on that limb regardless.  It is going to be scary, it will be intimidating and I know it could be a big fall for me but, and here's the big plus for those of you ready to step out on a limb of your own... I hear the view is great from up there!